Rain's opinion
Rain's opinion
Victor,
I agree with RCB. If I was you and read this thread, I?d think ?what a self righteous bunch of people?.
We have no idea why you?ve made the decisions you have. A lot of the decisions we make as individuals are decisions no one but we ourselves fully understand. No one else has ?walked a mile in our moccasins?. There?s a lot of things that could be involved besides fear of the operation itself. There?s money, religion, family relations, on and on.. things some of us may never even think of could be influencing Victors decision.
I had a little confusion on whether I should be having the surgery myself. And religion was a big part of it. Most people would never understand that. I don?t really care.
I?m sure you don?t really care if we understand your reasons either.
I do care about you, and I do hope you decide to have the surgery before it?s to late, but I respect your decision.
More than why I considered not having the surgery, I think it?s more appropriate to tell you why I DID decided to follow through with it. I did it for very selfish reasons. My cardiologist told me that my heart was in such bad shape that I would not live more than a few years without the surgery. I was very afraid of dying,
but what bothered me even more.... was the thought of someone else raising my children.
And I couldn?t stand the idea of what my death would do to my children, my Mom and my brothers and sisters. And as childish as it may seem... I couldn?t even stand the thought of anyone ?sorting? through my belongings after I was dead!
lol I can tell from your wife?s post that you have many people around who love you too.
When you feel so rotten it can be hard to remember why you want to live.
But you have many reasons for keeping yourself alive... just ask your wife. She'll remind you what they are if you need her to.
You'll feel so much better after the operation. When you feel good, you feel like living. But the catch 22 is.. ... you can?t feel good with out the dad gum operation.
I had to drive for 7 hours to get to the hospital where they could do my operation. Giving my kids and my Mom a hug and leaving them is one of the hardest things I?ve ever done. Then Victor... get this! I did the angiogram one afternoon, spent the night in the hospital... spent a sleepless night mentally preparing myself for the flippin? surgery... did all the prep, with the anti biotic shower and such... THEN an hour before surgery time... the nurse tells me my surgeon is in an emergency operation and can?t do me that day!! I was like, ?no, please God... you can?t do this to me!? (It was almost the straw that broke the camels back.) So rather than spend the night in the hospital, I wanted to go back to the hotel with my husband. I really, really dreaded going back to the hospital at 5:30 the next morning. I told myself, ?Rain, don?t you dare second guess yourself. Put one foot in front of the other and do what ya gotta do to get yourself through this.? I wasn?t hysterical or anything... I just couldn?t stand the idea of them cutting my chest open, stopping my heart and messing around with what God gave me to begin with!! It was hard... I?m sure it was just as hard for everyone else who has had it done. Anyway... maybe that?s where you are... just put one foot in front of the other until you go through all the motions to get you to the other side. It?ll take some work. But I know if you make a decision in your mind to lose some weight, get the operation and have a life, you can do it. But you have to make the decision, not any of us here, or even your wife. Just think of the operation as your first step. That in itself will make you feel better, then add a little exercise, maybe some changes in diet and ?walla? your kids have a happy, healthy father!
You're wife has a happy, healthy husband and YOU have a happy, healthy self.
I know, slap me...
I made it sound so easy. It?ll take a lot of work... but its worth it. A lot of people care about you. Who knows what your future holds.
Big warm hugs, Victor.
Don?t let anyone pressure you into anything you don?t wanna do........ but don?t wait to long to make the decision to live.
Wow... there?s a name for that sentence. lol I just want what?s best for you and your family. You know what that is... so you go dude.
Shirley, I hope you will never leave us. I have much admiration for your accepting Victor?s choices. My Aunt went through this my Uncle... she was soooooooo mad at him. lol Not really funny, but it is in a way, if you?d have known them.
I?d go sit up with my Uncle in the middle of the night, so my Aunt could get some sleep. Those are some of my favorite memories of him. Boy, did he tell me some stories about him and my Dad!! They were born in 1918 & 1916... he had some doozies! My Uncle died at home, just as he wanted too. But boy was my Aunt pissed and snarly at him sometimes. But you could tell they both really loved each other, as I can tell you love Victor. But my Uncle was an older man... he figured he didn't have that long anyway and he didn't wanna deal with it. I think Victor is a lot younger and will consider the future ahead of him. I think he?ll have the operation... if nothing else, he?ll do it for his children.
And lastly.... Rain the rebel, cannot help but say.... I think we should all be able to ?air? our comments here. Why should RCB need to hide his opinion? Who decides who?s opinion is worthy and who?s isn?t? That wouldn?t be a ?public? forum. That would be Ross?s (or who ever makes the decisions) forum. You may as well just talk to that person, because all other posts would reflect his opinion! Go ahead, tear this letter to Victor & Shirley apart... beat me up where ever you see fit..... but this IS RAIN?s opinion. You won?t change my mind, no more than I will change yours.
And lastly, lastly.... It?s Victor?s life, for crying out loud... lets be a little supportive. THAT is what this forum is all about. If anyone can convince me that calling someone a ?coward? (or whatever) is supportive.... then my Mama is gonna rise from the grave. Goes against everything she taught me. ALTHOUGH..... I will go on to say.... I?m sure you all meant well. Shirley, Victor.... I know you understand how this thread has got a little ?off topic? as Ross likes to call it.... but personally, I kinda think that?s part of what makes us a family.
I bicker with my real siblings now and then....... what makes anyone think we won?t have a difference of opinion here with our vr.com siblings??
Good luck Victor & Shirley. I wish you all the best!!
