S
suz
RCB said:
Help Support Valve Replacement Forums:
Bryan, nobody said anything about your free speech rights.
What I was addressing was the ad hominem comments impugning someone's motives and judging them to be a lack of bravery when facing a life or death situation. We simply don't know what is in his mind.
Suz,
As to your comment that my comment wasn't "neccessary", well I think it is necessary to point out
that many of the comments on this forum aren't necessary,
but you certainly have the right to single out mine. I may think your whole post was unnecessary, but I'm not sure
anything of value would come about by pointing that out.
However, when name calling becomes the norm on this forum or any other forum, the forum will have a rabid decline. We may disagree, but don't be disagreeable.
Shirley and Victor are a sad case- they need the help of professionals, not the psychoanalysis of Victor's mindset by people who don't have a MD and a residency in psychiatry.
Again, this forum is about helping people- name calling
is not helpful. While it shouldn't be necessary to state that, some times it is.
What I was addressing was the ad hominem comments impugning someone's motives and judging them to be a lack of bravery when facing a life or death situation. We simply don't know what is in his mind.
Suz,
As to your comment that my comment wasn't "neccessary", well I think it is necessary to point out
that many of the comments on this forum aren't necessary,
but you certainly have the right to single out mine. I may think your whole post was unnecessary, but I'm not sure
anything of value would come about by pointing that out.
However, when name calling becomes the norm on this forum or any other forum, the forum will have a rabid decline. We may disagree, but don't be disagreeable.
Shirley and Victor are a sad case- they need the help of professionals, not the psychoanalysis of Victor's mindset by people who don't have a MD and a residency in psychiatry.
Again, this forum is about helping people- name calling
is not helpful. While it shouldn't be necessary to state that, some times it is.
S
suz
It is your perception that people are name calling. My point was that my perception is tough love. I hardly think that anyone here, where all posters are AVR patients or their loved ones, would be participating in name calling for their own self serving motives. I believe that everyone here cares about Victor, and it is out of this concern, that they have posted as they have.
Perhaps in your world people "name call." They don't in mine. I frankly do disagree with your take on what people have posted. If you find me disagreeable, that is your perception but you might take a moment to look up the word on Websters.com.
Perhaps in your world people "name call." They don't in mine. I frankly do disagree with your take on what people have posted. If you find me disagreeable, that is your perception but you might take a moment to look up the word on Websters.com.
S
suz
Mike Ditka article to Men- Go to the doc, stay alive
Mike Ditka article to Men- Go to the doc, stay alive
Shirley,
I just found an article that I wanted to share with you about Mike Ditka's drive to get men to take better care of themselves and not avoiding the doc as men are prone to do. I hope you will share this with Victor. It points to avoiding the doc for mental and cardiovascular health. He feels that he could have avoided the heart attack that he had and wants to help others,
Mike Ditka Tackles Men's Health Issues
It's part of campaign to get men to embrace healthy lifestyle
By Gary Gately
HealthDay Reporter
FRIDAY, October 24 (HealthDayNews) -- Football legend Mike Ditka is pointing straight at you, brow furrowed, looking as intense and as menacing as he did on the sidelines.
This time, it's not just the outcome of a game hanging in the balance, but staying healthy -- and staying alive.
http://www.hon.ch/News/HSN/515704.html
best,
suz
Mike Ditka article to Men- Go to the doc, stay alive
Shirley,
I just found an article that I wanted to share with you about Mike Ditka's drive to get men to take better care of themselves and not avoiding the doc as men are prone to do. I hope you will share this with Victor. It points to avoiding the doc for mental and cardiovascular health. He feels that he could have avoided the heart attack that he had and wants to help others,
Mike Ditka Tackles Men's Health Issues
It's part of campaign to get men to embrace healthy lifestyle
By Gary Gately
HealthDay Reporter
FRIDAY, October 24 (HealthDayNews) -- Football legend Mike Ditka is pointing straight at you, brow furrowed, looking as intense and as menacing as he did on the sidelines.
This time, it's not just the outcome of a game hanging in the balance, but staying healthy -- and staying alive.
http://www.hon.ch/News/HSN/515704.html
best,
suz
S
suz
I said "perhaps" in the world you live in.
In a thread where a man's life is hanging in the balance, why would you feel the need to attack other posters here? I have gotten nothing but support from the posters here and your post was the first post where someone lashed out at others.
In a thread where a man's life is hanging in the balance, why would you feel the need to attack other posters here? I have gotten nothing but support from the posters here and your post was the first post where someone lashed out at others.
2
2hartsas1
Apology And Departure
Apology And Departure
I Apologize For The Trouble My Coming Here Has Caused. I Have Never Seen Any Squabbles Here Before And Dont Wish To Be The Reason For Any Now.
Victor Has Been The Center Of So Many Unhealthy Relationships In His Family (he Has No Friends Other Than Those Who Know Him Through Me On The Internet) All Of His Life And Unfortunately, I Have Brought His Chaos To This Forum.
I Am Leaving, As There Is No More Reason For Me To Be Here. I Do Not Have A Loved One Who Is Trying To Fight For Their Life. I Have Only A Sad Individual Who Is Causeing More And More Pain Where Ever He Goes, Even Through Me And Even On The Internet.
Thank You All So Much For Caring, For That Is All I Ever Saw Here. I Appreciate The Love And Concern You Have All Shown, But It Is Time For Me To Go. Victor Will Be Victor And All That That Brings With It. I Am Not Going To Make Myself Sick Any More With His Drama.
Thank You All And Know That Just Because I Am Not Here, Doesnt Mean I Am Not Thinking Of You.
~all The Best Always,
~shirley
Apology And Departure
I Apologize For The Trouble My Coming Here Has Caused. I Have Never Seen Any Squabbles Here Before And Dont Wish To Be The Reason For Any Now.
Victor Has Been The Center Of So Many Unhealthy Relationships In His Family (he Has No Friends Other Than Those Who Know Him Through Me On The Internet) All Of His Life And Unfortunately, I Have Brought His Chaos To This Forum.
I Am Leaving, As There Is No More Reason For Me To Be Here. I Do Not Have A Loved One Who Is Trying To Fight For Their Life. I Have Only A Sad Individual Who Is Causeing More And More Pain Where Ever He Goes, Even Through Me And Even On The Internet.
Thank You All So Much For Caring, For That Is All I Ever Saw Here. I Appreciate The Love And Concern You Have All Shown, But It Is Time For Me To Go. Victor Will Be Victor And All That That Brings With It. I Am Not Going To Make Myself Sick Any More With His Drama.
Thank You All And Know That Just Because I Am Not Here, Doesnt Mean I Am Not Thinking Of You.
~all The Best Always,
~shirley
S
suz
Shirley,
I am so sorry that you feel that Victor caused this disagreement. He didn't. We all have to do what we feel is right, and if you don't feel that you can get support here, I am truly sorry if I have contributed to this. I only have great concern for your situation and for all who have posted here out of deep concern for Victor.
best,
suz
I am so sorry that you feel that Victor caused this disagreement. He didn't. We all have to do what we feel is right, and if you don't feel that you can get support here, I am truly sorry if I have contributed to this. I only have great concern for your situation and for all who have posted here out of deep concern for Victor.
best,
suz
Ross
Well-known member
Wow, go away for a little while and things got a bit heated aye? 
I don't mind people expressing there opinions, but please do not turn it into personal attacks on one another. We can agree to disagree without it getting out of hand can we not? I don't want Shirley or anyone for that matter feeling that they must leave so war doesn't break out.
My first comment can be taken rather heavily I suppose. In my mind, I'm upset with Victor and his decision. In my mind, I can't understand why someone would not fight for his own life, which is after all, what this is in the long run.
Everyone is entitled to do as they wish with their health care. I appologize for my rudeness which is actually anger expressed in written form.
Shirley whatever your decision, I wish you the best of luck and hope that you will return no matter what the situation turns out to be. It's a touchy thing for those of us that have gone through it. I don't know that anyone can express why were reacting the way we are unless they've been there themselves. Sorry.
I don't mind people expressing there opinions, but please do not turn it into personal attacks on one another. We can agree to disagree without it getting out of hand can we not? I don't want Shirley or anyone for that matter feeling that they must leave so war doesn't break out.
My first comment can be taken rather heavily I suppose. In my mind, I'm upset with Victor and his decision. In my mind, I can't understand why someone would not fight for his own life, which is after all, what this is in the long run.
Everyone is entitled to do as they wish with their health care. I appologize for my rudeness which is actually anger expressed in written form.
Shirley whatever your decision, I wish you the best of luck and hope that you will return no matter what the situation turns out to be. It's a touchy thing for those of us that have gone through it. I don't know that anyone can express why were reacting the way we are unless they've been there themselves. Sorry.
A
Abbanabba
I have only just read this thread and I must say I am really upset that Shirley feels she has to leave because of the comments made here.
Might I suggest that if people have a difference of opinion that they send a personal message to whomever they have the problem with, rather than bringing unhelpful comments into the thread. One of the great things about this forum is that it does provide a wonderful range of advice, but getting upset with someone who doesn't share your point of view isn't helpful to anyone.
Shirley -
I hope you do come back to the forum - please don't allow other's negativity to push you away. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to be dealing with everything you are right now.
I only hope that you and Victor can find a way through this tough time. I can't imagine what must be going through his mind right now to choose certain demise over a second chance at life. Surely he is aware of the consequences of his choices, but perhaps a counsellor can help him vocalise his fears and perhaps to overcome them.
My heart goes out to you both.
Anna
Might I suggest that if people have a difference of opinion that they send a personal message to whomever they have the problem with, rather than bringing unhelpful comments into the thread. One of the great things about this forum is that it does provide a wonderful range of advice, but getting upset with someone who doesn't share your point of view isn't helpful to anyone.
Shirley -
I hope you do come back to the forum - please don't allow other's negativity to push you away. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to be dealing with everything you are right now.
I only hope that you and Victor can find a way through this tough time. I can't imagine what must be going through his mind right now to choose certain demise over a second chance at life. Surely he is aware of the consequences of his choices, but perhaps a counsellor can help him vocalise his fears and perhaps to overcome them.
My heart goes out to you both.
Anna
Johnny Stephens
Well-known member
Shirely, what an incredibly stressful time...for you, for Victor, and for your family and friends. I don't have any magic words, I just hope you can work together to find a way out of this situation that will allow Victor to come to terms with what he needs to do.
Please stick around and let us know how it is going.
Johnny
Please stick around and let us know how it is going.
Johnny
Glenda
Well-known member
Shirley, I agree with Anna.Ross and Johnny. Please don't go away. We need you and you need everyone here. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. We all have our different thoughts on certain things. We have the option to take it or leave it.
If you have read any of my posts, this is my third cancer in four years. This last cancer is terminal. I've always had heart problems, but just this last year my heart got worse. I'm sorry but I felt like Victor. I told my cardio that I would much rather die of an heart attack than this old cancer. But the doctor told me he wasn't ready for me to throw in the towel just yet. So you see, I'm on borrowed time. I have finally decided to have the heart surgery as soon as my leukemia counts go back down. The leukemia was in remission for seven months (that's when I should have had the surgery.) but no, I wanted to wait. I had too much to do. I kept making excuses, now I have to wait.
Shirley, you take care of yourself. Victor needs you. Please let him know that he will be in my prayers daily. (you too)
If you have read any of my posts, this is my third cancer in four years. This last cancer is terminal. I've always had heart problems, but just this last year my heart got worse. I'm sorry but I felt like Victor. I told my cardio that I would much rather die of an heart attack than this old cancer. But the doctor told me he wasn't ready for me to throw in the towel just yet. So you see, I'm on borrowed time. I have finally decided to have the heart surgery as soon as my leukemia counts go back down. The leukemia was in remission for seven months (that's when I should have had the surgery.) but no, I wanted to wait. I had too much to do. I kept making excuses, now I have to wait.
Shirley, you take care of yourself. Victor needs you. Please let him know that he will be in my prayers daily. (you too)
2
2hartsas1
Ok.....
Ok.....
well....Glenda, i certainly appreciate your post and support and caring as well as everyones here. i just didnt want to be the reason for a heated debate......but.....i do need you all and if nothing else, i will hang around and read and post whenever victor has anything go on....
to be real honest, i am in quite a state right now and his family is hardly speaking to him and well,.....i am not doing too good at it myself just yet. i am trying real hard to get my mind wrapped around this but its hard.
i will be reading, ok?! and i will keep you all up to date!
thank you all so much for caring....
you are all so very appreciated,
~shirley
Ok.....
well....Glenda, i certainly appreciate your post and support and caring as well as everyones here. i just didnt want to be the reason for a heated debate......but.....i do need you all and if nothing else, i will hang around and read and post whenever victor has anything go on....
to be real honest, i am in quite a state right now and his family is hardly speaking to him and well,.....i am not doing too good at it myself just yet. i am trying real hard to get my mind wrapped around this but its hard.
i will be reading, ok?! and i will keep you all up to date!
thank you all so much for caring....
you are all so very appreciated,
~shirley
Hi Shirley
Hi Shirley
I first starting reading your posts when you joined our wonderful site..on December14th, 2003. It has been 1 year and 4 months since you joined. You have posted 104 posts about your wonderful, big guy. ..When you first posted..you told us all about your hospital stay..Flat-lined for 4 weeks in hospital...with problems from hep C..You went on to tell us about Victor's gun-shot wound which landed him in hospital..with traumatic surgery..your 2 daughters who had their own problems..and we posted back to you..encouraging you...and you always had such a great post coming back with smiles and that you knew things would be better... You posted on 1-30-2003 that Victor had even checked out books from Library about Heart disease.. Victor had been on coumadin and that itself is very worriesome. With his being overweigh and all the other things..your being ill..No wonder the Big Guy is scared. Leave him alone on the deck and let him smoke his pipe. (Married to a Pipe smoker for 38 years).......Believe me..He's thinking things out.........................and for all who posted on this thread....Be sure and read about the user's threads...Click on Members..bring up all their posts that they started..before you jump in and take a few minutes to read thru....I read them all..I know Victor weighs 300 lbs. from Shirley's posts.. That he is a Cabbie and works very hard..and that he loves Shirley Love you Shirley and anytime you want to post. Be sure and go to our Member's site and e-mail us.. I have posted 2, 471 posts..Again..for all Newbies..Take a litle time to click on Members posting for good or bad news..Helps before you reply bonnie
Hi Shirley
I first starting reading your posts when you joined our wonderful site..on December14th, 2003. It has been 1 year and 4 months since you joined. You have posted 104 posts about your wonderful, big guy.
..When you first posted..you told us all about your hospital stay..Flat-lined for 4 weeks in hospital...with problems from hep C..You went on to tell us about Victor's gun-shot wound which landed him in hospital..with traumatic surgery..your 2 daughters who had their own problems..and we posted back to you..encouraging you...and you always had such a great post coming back with smiles and that you knew things would be better... You posted on 1-30-2003 that Victor had even checked out books from Library about Heart disease.. Victor had been on coumadin and that itself is very worriesome. With his being overweigh and all the other things..your being ill..No wonder the Big Guy is scared. Leave him alone on the deck and let him smoke his pipe. (Married to a Pipe smoker for 38 years).......Believe me..He's thinking things out.........................and for all who posted on this thread....Be sure and read about the user's threads...Click on Members..bring up all their posts that they started..before you jump in and take a few minutes to read thru....I read them all..I know Victor weighs 300 lbs. from Shirley's posts.. That he is a Cabbie and works very hard..and that he loves Shirley Love you Shirley and anytime you want to post. Be sure and go to our Member's site and e-mail us.. I have posted 2, 471 posts..Again..for all Newbies..Take a litle time to click on Members posting for good or bad news..Helps before you reply bonnie
2
2hartsas1
From Victor (kinda)
From Victor (kinda)
ok.....victor says he is very taken with everyones concerns.....he is surprised that so many had so much support for him!!!!! (sheesh, i wish he would come around here on his OWN!)
anyway, he says thank you all so much and he is still happy he chose as he did....for now anyway...
and me, well....i just have to let him be, i know.....i just am having difficulty...but who knows.....i am just glad he is home here with me tonight-i know that much. the day he went to the hospital, he had left his coffee spoon on a napkin on the kitchen counter....that napkin and spoon didnt budge an inch till he came home and moved them himself.
so, as i have said....we will be around here...i can clearly see i would be cheating both myself and victor to leave such a great bunch of folks.
god bless you all and goodnight,
~shirley & victor
From Victor (kinda)
ok.....victor says he is very taken with everyones concerns.....he is surprised that so many had so much support for him!!!!! (sheesh, i wish he would come around here on his OWN!)
anyway, he says thank you all so much and he is still happy he chose as he did....for now anyway...
and me, well....i just have to let him be, i know.....i just am having difficulty...but who knows.....i am just glad he is home here with me tonight-i know that much. the day he went to the hospital, he had left his coffee spoon on a napkin on the kitchen counter....that napkin and spoon didnt budge an inch till he came home and moved them himself.
so, as i have said....we will be around here...i can clearly see i would be cheating both myself and victor to leave such a great bunch of folks.
god bless you all and goodnight,
~shirley & victor
X
xtremlee
Just go here
http://www.mddietofutah.com/wwwboard/index.html
http://www.mddietofutah.com/wwwboard/index.html
M
medtronic of borg
missinterpretation
missinterpretation
I hope you didn't miss interp. my privet message to you. The suggestion is made out of my concern and your love.
Med
missinterpretation
I hope you didn't miss interp. my privet message to you. The suggestion is made out of my concern and your love.
Med
D
dawnwit15
Thanks for sticking around
Thanks for sticking around
Shirley & Victor
I'm so happy to see that you decided to stick around this site. Please do not let a debate scare you away. I think the issues we discuss on this site bring along alot of emotion & passion to the table.
We are here to support you both in whatever decision Victor makes. The most important thing right now, is for you both to love eachother and cherish each day that you have together.
Please let Victor know, that we strangers here become friends overnight through our common experiences. He is not alone. We have all experienced the fear and hopelessness that comes along with OHS. Stay strong.
Love & friendship
Dawnwit15
Thanks for sticking around
Shirley & Victor
I'm so happy to see that you decided to stick around this site. Please do not let a debate scare you away. I think the issues we discuss on this site bring along alot of emotion & passion to the table.
We are here to support you both in whatever decision Victor makes. The most important thing right now, is for you both to love eachother and cherish each day that you have together.
Please let Victor know, that we strangers here become friends overnight through our common experiences. He is not alone. We have all experienced the fear and hopelessness that comes along with OHS. Stay strong.
Love & friendship
Dawnwit15
