My Son Chris

[sylviayasgur]

oh ross,
we're so sorry chris, you and lyn are going through this.
the good news is that the surgeon didn't just give up on the failed graft and is determined to try again this coming week, instead of just amputating.

chris (and you all) must be in such a down state of shock. there doesn't seem to be any consistency to grasp onto and that's an awful feeling. the not-knowing, the sadness, the "couped up" feeling, his future m-i-l incident, etc.
i cannot imagine all of you wouldn't be emotionally "all over the place"_ fearful, angry, worried, depressed, frustrated, lost....traumatized.

i hope that things improve and with them, maybe chris's anger will subside a bit. you all still remain in our thoughts and prayers. we check each day to see how things are...
hoping things get better soon.
be well, sylvia

 

[geebee]

Ross,

My heart goes out to all of you. I feel for Chris because he is hurting and scared and so young (despite being an "adult" from an age standpoint).

I cannot believe he is not on some type of anti-psychotic medication. There are so many good ones that really help. Where is that psychiatrist with the help Chris deserves?

I know you are frustrated, hurt, and scared yourself but, if you get the chance, try this one last thing and insist on some type of med to help Chris work through this anger.

Love you and praying for you all.

 

[Susan BAV]

One more possibility re: the anger

One more possibility re: the anger

I was thinking of another possibility, Ross, and that could be related to the incident where Chris was injured. I haven't been able to research your comments and/or threads back far enough to know what happened but I got the impression it was an auto accident? Is that correct? With certain accidents, whiplash can cause some injury to the brain, even a "closed-head, acquired, traumatic brain injury" or, of course, he may have hit his head on something. (My younger son suffered an accident ten years ago and was in a coma from his "closed-head, acquired, traumatic brain injury, but thankfully he eventually fully recovered.) With even a slight or mild or undiagnosed brain injury, behavioral problems can occur. Often when someone with a stroke or a brain injury is recovering, they will either suffer from something called the "flat effect" where they have little or no personality, or they wake up from their coma or incident with an aggressive and/or hostile personality, or either of these may gradually develop, even months later. Bear in mind, I am only a layman here and I may not be describing this with technical and/or clinical accuracy. Perhaps the worst thing may be, though, that the brain injury victim usually is unaware of any difference, be it in ability or personality, in comparison to before the incident.

Certainly this may not be the case and I don't know any details about how this all happened to your son but it popped into my head as a possibility that I wanted to mention to you.

 

[Lynlw]

[

Certainly this may not be the case and I don't know any details about how this all happened to your son but it popped into my head as a possibility that I wanted to mention to you.[/QUOTE]


that is a thought, yes it was a bad accident, here is the origonal thread http://www.valvereplacement.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17924
Lyn

 

[Susan BAV]

Well, so far I'm up to posting #88 in that thread that Lynlw referenced and I'm feeling like a real dummy, since a head injury was already noted.

What an horrific event you've all been having to deal with! I'm so glad you still have your boy, Ross! That's how I felt when our son, Levi, survived his accident ten years ago -- so glad we still had him.

I sincerely hope that things resolve as quickly and as happily as is possible for your family.

Now I'm going back to that other post to catch up on the whole story.

 

[Susan BAV]

Whew! Finished reading! What an ordeal!!!

I kept reading suggestions in the other thread about you or someone contacting the local news to hopefully rally support and/or aid for all of the sticky and complicated variables in this horrible situation; people can get their squeaky wheels greased that way, you know, so have you had a chance to seriously consider that?

Hoping this coming week will be better than the last few weeks for all of you...

 

[aussigal]

Hey there Rossman...
remember we are all praying heaps for this thing to hurry up and get better, sounds like you guys have a good caring surgeon guy trying his hardest to keep Chris' foot & ankle ...
so sorry Chris is still being a rotten patient, I wonder if some Valium or similar would help...

lots of love, hugs & prayers
ton

 

[Ross]

Whew! Finished reading! What an ordeal!!!

I kept reading suggestions in the other thread about you or someone contacting the local news to hopefully rally support and/or aid for all of the sticky and complicated variables in this horrible situation; people can get their squeaky wheels greased that way, you know, so have you had a chance to seriously consider that?

Hoping this coming week will be better than the last few weeks for all of you...

Thanks Susan, things are slowly falling into place. My initial fears have been abated somewhat. The State gets a crack at this guy, then we get a Civil crack at him too. He's a bigtime loser. No job, just out of jail, no insurance, no license, no nothing.

 

[Ross]

Hey there Rossman...
remember we are all praying heaps for this thing to hurry up and get better, sounds like you guys have a good caring surgeon guy trying his hardest to keep Chris' foot & ankle ...
so sorry Chris is still being a rotten patient, I wonder if some Valium or similar would help...

lots of love, hugs & prayers
ton

I'm going to ask today if they can't give him some Ativan or something. He had the foot cleaned and redressed without pain meds and he called in tears saying he doesn't think he can do that again. If Doctors know they are going to cause that much pain, why don't they give them at least pain meds first or Versed or something so they don't remember it? That is just short of barbaric.

 

[StretchL]

Hang in there, Ross...

Hang in there, Ross...

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you guys...

 

[Nancy]

That IS barbaric. I wonder if the doctor would like having his foot cleaned and redressed that way, if he were in the same situation as Chris. On the other hand, there might be a reason why they cannot give him some pain meds, such as his overall health or interaction with other meds.

And there is always the possibility that pain meds were ordered for this procedure, and forgotten about, so they had to go ahead with it anyway.

Seems like there should be something that could take the edge off. How about a whiff of laughing gas, like in the dentist's office?

 

[Mb]

Dear Ross:

Like others here, I just want you to know that we are thinking of your family, and hoping that things will work out over the next few weeks.

Marybeth

 

[Ross]

That IS barbaric. I wonder if the doctor would like having his foot cleaned and redressed that way, if he were in the same situation as Chris. On the other hand, there might be a reason why they cannot give him some pain meds, such as his overall health or interaction with other meds.

And there is always the possibility that pain meds were ordered for this procedure, and forgotten about, so they had to go ahead with it anyway.

Seems like there should be something that could take the edge off. How about a whiff of laughing gas, like in the dentist's office?

I don't know Nancy, but I'd like to stuff sponges and gauze into half of the Doctors foot and watch him scream. That is uncalled for. I'm not kidding either when I say half of the foot. You should see the size of this hole now.

 

[CathyK.]

Just checking in after a couple of days. Ross, so sorry the hear about the wait on the 2nd graft. Have they ever done anything to help Chris with his smoking? If he unable to smoke and is not taking anything to help him, some of the anger could be coming from that? Just a thought. You and Lyn are being great parents, he does call you when in need, you all must be doing something right, huh??? You all are still in my prayers and good luch on Thursday!!!

 

[Ross]

Just checking in after a couple of days. Ross, so sorry the hear about the wait on the 2nd graft. Have they ever done anything to help Chris with his smoking? If he unable to smoke and is not taking anything to help him, some of the anger could be coming from that? Just a thought. You and Lyn are being great parents, he does call you when in need, you all must be doing something right, huh??? You all are still in my prayers and good luch on Thursday!!!

Strangely, he's not wanting to smoke now and isn't craving them either. I know we've done lots of things right. Lots of things wrong too, but we do the best we can.

 

[CathyK.]

That is all any parent can do, just the best that they know how to do!!! Hang in there!

 

[sue943]

I am still in England but have been monitoring the situation from my brother's home, and thinking of you and your family.

 

[PJmomrunner]

Ross dear, I think I hear a cyber-chant: "Drugs...drugs...we want drugs!Drugs...drugs...we want drugs!" (for Chris, that is )

 

[Wise]

Strangely, he's not wanting to smoke now and isn't craving them either. I know we've done lots of things right. Lots of things wrong too, but we do the best we can.

Now that is a small blessing in the midst of this. I guess the other issues he's dealing with outweigh the smoking, but it sounds like it could be worse if he still wanted the smokes. Not downplaying the hell you're going through though. Hang in there. We're still praying.

Wise & Cindy

 

[BDMc]

Vengeful Doctors?

Vengeful Doctors?

Ross, There is no reason for them to keep causing him pain when cleaning the wound! They should be giving him a local like novacaine at the least! This sounds like needless suffering to me. I do hope and pray things are going better for all of you today. Tell Chris I'm thinking of him, that I understand his being angry given the circumstances, but I wish he could direct it in a constructive way. Like getting meds that work! Your valve bro, Brian