Is there another forum?

[Lisa in Katy]

Dennis, you are right, but therein lies the problem. Your definition of "fun and inviting" may not be the same as my definition of "fun and inviting" so who gets to decide? A while back it was decided that we do away with Small Talk and other non-heart related posts. People were not happy so things went back to "normal".

As someone else said, we are a family and we don't always agree. As adults, we know how to avoid things that upset us. It obviously wasn't noticed, but I took a few days break from the forum after being called ignorant. I can assure you that my IQ is quite high, but it still made me mad. However, what really upset me is that NO ONE stepped in to say, "Hey you're out of bounds" to the person who said it. Ross removed the insult after I pm'ed him, and I won't be waiting for an apology, but the person knows he upset me. Unfortunately, that didn't stop him from trying it again. Kind of like the annoying little brother who keeps stealing your hairbrush and then laughs when you get mad. Anyway, I'm obviously back and that is because I have been with this group through thick or thin for almost 11 years now.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

No mystery about my surgery...

There were no presurgery discussions for me to amount to much. I got my echo August 4th, dumped my cardiologist, turned over my assignments at work, got a new cardiologist, got files transferred, met with him, arranged work leaves, cath procedure, and surgery (without a solid date), contacted my surgeon, went to Maine for a week to chill out, and went to the hospital the following Monday, the day after my birthday. I wasn't completely sure the dates were accepted until the Thursday before, when I called from Maine.

There were a few, random posts about it in a Mosaic failures thread and a couple of others, and I mentioned it as "getting my birthday presents on Monday and Tuesday" in the Happy Birthday thread, but all-in-all, there just wasn't any time for it. You should be able to find the posts in "Advanced Search."

There may be some mystery to what transpired with Mary's sudden disappearance from VR.com (I do not know myself), but VR.com had nothing to do with the very limited warning that went out about my surgery. That's all on me. I just had no time and no emotional energy to do it, and no solid information until it was just about to happen.

Best wishes,

Bob -

I confess I was surprised by your 'sudden' surgery, although I was aware you had some 'issues' from early on.

I am curious about what triggered your decision to go ahead and finally replace your valve and what you replaced it with. If you prefer not to make that public, that is your right, I won't press.

I KNOW that you made an Informed Decision which
is one of the primary purposes of this group (IMO).

'AL Capshaw'

 

[tobagotwo]

Al, a lot of folks are curious. I know I didn't give anyone much notice, so I decided to move your question to the beginning of a new thread called "What Happened." That way, I won't steal this thread.

Best wishes,

 

[Star54]

Hey, I'm new and I ain't goin' anywhere.....seriously, I would not have gotten through my surgery without the support and knowledge of the VR group, so unless you kick me out for bad behavior (I'm a New Yorker), I may post less after recovery or sneak a post at work, but ain't leaving...please don''t send chickens, my apartment is small....

 

[hensylee]

I'm not one of the "in-crowd" either, but maybe all us "outies" can gang up on the "innies", I am sure there must be more of us

I think tobagotwo may have referred to problems he was having, without dwelling on the details, but it was still a surprise to me.

As for Mary, I thought she was just taking a little break, as there were other life-things keeping her busy; I may of course be thinking of someone else entirely . ..

So, is there some way for us "outies" to get an invitation to the Facebook thing, and get promoted to an "innnie" ????

omg. I didn't know we had innies and outies. But since they must be here, I am a member of both. Sometimes I am innie and sometimes outie, I guess. As for you, I know you are an innie because I see you in here all the time posting and giving your information to all of us. That's a real innie -

and thank you for what you do for VR - and each of us, individually.

Blessins.........

p.s. I guess right now I am an outie because for three days now I have had to sign in with my whole ID and Password before the site would grant me entrance!! Surely that makes me an outie............

 

[ALCapshaw2]

p.s. I guess right now I am an outie because for three days now I have had to sign in with my whole ID and Password before the site would grant me entrance!! Surely that makes me an outie............

I had a similar experience not too long ago.

Ross told me to click the "remember me" box when you check-in
and voila, VR.com recognizes me immediately upon check-in now.
Hope it works for you too!

'AL'

 

[Glenda]

Well I miss some of the regular's not posting anymore. I miss Mary. Her humor was something I looked forward too. I sincerely miss GranBonnie. (not sure I spelled that right but you know who I mean) She was my birthday twin and I loved her dearly although I had never met her in person. I am not on very much anymore but I do check in from time to time. I had no idea all this was going on. As adults we have the right to our opinion whether it's political, religious, health, etc. As adults we should be able to discuss everything with an open mind. It's like watching TV, if something comes on you don't like, turn the stupid thing off. Just like here if you begin to read something and you don't like it, DON'T READ IT ! ! Enough said! !

 

[gadgetman]

omg. I didn't know we had innies and outies............

Leave it to Ann to turn this into a *** THREAD!!!!!!!!

I too am a survivor of the "Small Talk" and "if it ain't heart related it don't belong" discussion that erupted here several years ago. IMHO, anything and everything we post here "comes from the heart". Most of us here have faced, survived or helped someone with heart related issues.

We are kindred spirits in matters of the heart but we are also individuals in our experiences and taste. Some of us have made this journey with few bumps in the road while others have faced trials and tribulations at every turn. Unfortunately, we have lost a few along the way.

But we are still a family of HEARTS. We bicker, fuss, laugh and cry in our journey but we also should realize that raising chickens, telling jokes or even disagreeing has a place in our life. We would be a boring bunch if ALL we talked about is the pain and suffering. It would turn into the old joke about asking your 89 year old mother how she is feeling today only to be subject to a 2 hour discourse on her aches and pains. At least when it is in print, you can skip down to the bottom real quick. (LOL)

Since my operation four and a half years ago, I have slowly stopped posting as often as I originally did. My experiences are not as crisp in my mind as they were shortly after my surgery. Of course, whenever I feel that all this could have just been a bad dream all I need do is look at the scar on my chest to remind me that it was real.

I guess what it boils down to is if you feel the need to take a breather, then hit the “START” button to “STOP” (for all you Microsoft folks), and take a break. But don’t give up on VR.COM. Each and every one of us has something to add; a shared experience, a BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, a shoulder, a pep talk or maybe even a SLAP IN THE FACE when deserved. Also, don't forget to laugh every once in a while. IT DOES WONDERS!!!!!

May God Bless,

Danny

PS: Mary, we miss you

 

[catwoman]

I miss Mary. I'm sorry she's left, for whatever reason.

 

[hensylee]

I doubt anyone, including Mary, maybe especially Mary, has ever given up on VR as a home away from home where we can all say mostly what we want to. And help each other and celebrate with each other and even cry with each other. Because of the reason we all came here to begin with.

I am sorry Dennis will be among the missing if I udnerstand him correctly. He has contributed so very much in so many ways in this forum.

What is going on? Please let's just stop it before it becomes harmful - whatever it is.

 

[Eva]

I doubt anyone, including Mary, maybe especially Mary, has ever given up on VR as a home away from home where we can all say mostly what we want to. And help each other and celebrate with each other and even cry with each other. Because of the reason we all came here to begin with.

I am sorry Dennis will be among the missing if I udnerstand him correctly. He has contributed so very much in so many ways in this forum.

What is going on? Please let's just stop it before it becomes harmful - whatever it is.

Very nicely and genuinely said...message from the heart to the hearts of all of us--one family!

 

[twinmaker]

I'm shocked about Mary! I know I've been out of pocket over the summer with my dad's OHS and my hospitalization for my leg but I guess I've really been totally unaware! I will miss Mary and hope she decides to come back home here. LINDA

 

[Wise]

I doubt anyone, including Mary, maybe especially Mary, has ever given up on VR as a home away from home where we can all say mostly what we want to. And help each other and celebrate with each other and even cry with each other. Because of the reason we all came here to begin with.

I am sorry Dennis will be among the missing if I udnerstand him correctly. He has contributed so very much in so many ways in this forum.

What is going on? Please let's just stop it before it becomes harmful - whatever it is.

I agree Ann.

 

[Superbob]

I doubt anyone, including Mary, maybe especially Mary, has ever given up on VR as a home away from home where we can all say mostly what we want to. And help each other and celebrate with each other and even cry with each other. Because of the reason we all came here to begin with.

I am sorry Dennis will be among the missing if I udnerstand him correctly. He has contributed so very much in so many ways in this forum.

What is going on? Please let's just stop it before it becomes harmful - whatever it is.

Very well said, Ann. I agree completely.

 

[ShezaGirlie]

I've met Mary and Bob twice so far...once in Pigeon Forge and once in St. Louis. They are wonderful parents and grandparents. Did y'all know their son has served in Iraq for a couple of tours? Another of their sons has a bi-cuspid valve and I've met him and his lovely wife. And then there's little Charlie..

Mary is a giving person who dedicated herself to this website way more than I ever have and for that I thank her on behalf of everyone here.

By the way Star 54, I happen to be privy to information that Mary is on her way to New York City with her chicken coop of cluckin' hens, so you better get your butt in gear and find a muy fuerte rooster..!! That be sir - a very hot rooster..

 

[Cris N]

Seems to me that some of the things going on here have run amuck. While I certainly understand that everyone needs a break from time to time - I hate the thought that we are losing, or at the risk of losing, some valued and respected members.

While a vigorous debate can be good, the current healthcare reform debate has deeply touched many people - it is a passionate subject - regardless of which side you're on. The unfortunate result of this passion is that some opinions have been expressed in a disrespectful fashion. I have found some of the posts to be interesting and thought-provoking. The ones I found most helpful were the ones with links to facts I can assess myself.

I, too, hope that things settle down here. Life, with or without heart surgery is stressful enough. I would like to think that this is a place where people can come to learn from others, express their fears, and offer support to others in a non-judgmental way.

In any type of forum there's always a need for a gatekeeper. We've have fakers, bullies, and folks who persisted in giving bad advice. Ross (and Hank) should receive a lot of credit for dealing with these people to help preserve the credibility of this site.

 

[gijanet]

Okay, so I guess I missed out on all of this, too.

Okay, so I guess I missed out on all of this, too.

'course you all know I lurk more than post these days, mainly due to time restrictions (taking care of my elderly parents in addition to moving and remodeling and well, then, there is always Katie who happens to be quite a handful) and, as a parent of a valve recipient and not a patient myself, I don't feel like I have as much to contribute to the forums, although I do try to answer the new posts from parents of heart kids with questions. What I do know is that I still think of vr.com as extended family and always will. Y'all managed to get me though a very difficult time in my life. I am truly grateful for all of the support I have gotten over the years from Katie's fan club. Not to slight the new members, but I really am comforted by coming on here and seeing some old familiar faces and always seek out their posts. I could start reeling off names, but I am so afraid I would leave someone out............ But you know who you are, and you mean a lot to me. Although I know it is good sometimes to take a break, I am also grateful for those that have chosen to stay. I miss Phyllis and Mary. I miss RCB and Emma and medtronic, and I really miss granbonny, too..................sigh!

I steer clear of the forums that I know are going to upset me, such as the valves forum, and I haven't even clicked into the war room forum at all. Maybe the war room should only be visible to members, like the Tawdry shirt forum and the loving memory forum..............and maybe it is. I guess I could sign off and see.

Anyway, please think twice before leaving. Sometimes you mean more to people than you could possibly know. You're home. You're family. Much love. J.

 

[catwoman]

Janet:

Good to see your post!

I don't follow some of the forums here, such as the Tawdry shirt one -- not even sure what a Tawdry shirt is! -- or the WAR one. I have looked at the latter one, didn't care for it, and just moved on to other topics that I **am** interested in.

 

[bvdr]

I've been a member here for quite a while. I'm not a member of any particular group although I have been truly fortunate to have met some of our members. Years ago I used to read every single thread and every single post but I just can't anymore. Part of it is due to the growth of this site which is a good thing but makes it harder to stay current. I'm not a "war room" person and don't go there. It is not because I don't have definite opinions, which I do, but more because I just don't want to spend my time there. If others do I have no problem with that. I think the forum name gives good warning.

I used to post more than I do and I don't start many threads. I've thought about why that is so and I think I've been wrestling with health issues that are not cardiac related that have been much more dominant for the past few years.

I'm trying to figure out a way to stay more current but have not come to it yet. I don't know how to get to "unread posts" on a thread now. It is especially hard when I am off the boards for several days.

I miss those who have left and I have to say it hurts because I do feel like this is an extended family. I wish they would come back. I plan to stick around as I still love this place.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

I used to post more than I do and I don't start many threads. I've thought about why that is so and I think I've been wrestling with health issues that are not cardiac related that have been much more dominant for the past few years.

I'm trying to figure out a way to stay more current but have not come to it yet. I don't know how to get to "unread posts" on a thread now. It is especially hard when I am off the boards for several days.

I miss those who have left and I have to say it hurts because I do feel like this is an extended family. I wish they would come back. I plan to stick around as I still love this place.

Betty -

Do you click on the "New Posts" header?

That's how I look for Unread Posts.
It seems to work as long as I check in regularly.

Due to the Increased Volume of Posts, I find myself becoming more and more selective in what I read and respond to.