Can?t We Just All Get Along??????

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As I had stated in the opening post of the thread on gun-control, I'm curious about what folks on these forums think about a number of pressing issues facing the USA: Accordingly, I'd also asked about what folks think about drug-control policies on street drugs, asked for an international perspective from folks from other countries on illegal immigration. There's other stuff I'm curious about folks' opinions on, too.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar: My motive for bringing that stuff up is precisely what I said my motive was. I have a tendency to pontificate, so I generally would give only a brief overview of my own opinion. Precisely the way I would begin a conversation with someone on a controversial topic.

But I really wasn't trying to start any trouble, and I really am not a troll. I guess this is just the wrong place to solicit opinions on controversial topics unrelated to heart valve replacement. Too bad, because the folks here generally are more mature and well-informed than you'll find at most forums - and accordingly their opinions tend to be more mature and well-informed.

I'm a bit uncertain how to proceed - I just checked the gun-control and street-drug threads and it didn't see any problems going on in them, hadn't devolved into flame-wars, nobody using these forums to encourage or abet illegal activities. One person noted that the topic is boring to them, and I see no problem with that - not every topic is going to be scintillating to everyone and best way to deal with threads with boring topics would seem to be to simply not read them.

Freedom of speech isn't really an issue here in my opinion, at least not in any constitutional sense. The First Amendment protects us from government interference in expression of free speech, but this is a private forum - the government isn't involved. So the First Amendment is irrelevant to the issue. The owners/administrators here can restrict what's said here in any manner they choose - just as any of us are free to establish house rules that certain topics are forbidden subjects of conversation in our own homes.

Now, it hasn't happened in any of the threads that I had started - I don't think - but apparantly has happened in the Schiavo thread from what I read in this thread (I haven't yet read the Schiavo thread today), but...

A separate issue is threads becoming flame wars, in which forum members address one another very harshly, even rudely and insultingly. To my way of thinking, even were one free to talk about any topic at all, one still has the obligation to always be civil about it. Civil discourse on difficult topics is exceptionally interesting, and that the members of these forums tend to be mature and well-informed would, I should think, make flaming one another a very very rare event. I guess it's not a separate issue - it's precisely for that reason that I thought this would be a good place for civil discussion of controversial subjects, subjects that at many other forums would rapidly devolve into flame wars. Anyway, there's no excuse for rudeness, and I do hope folks will be civil to one another around here: I think we really can "all get along" so long as we're polite and civil to one another.
 
Quetlin-

Please don't quit either. Your viewpoints have given me much to think about both from the medical standpoint to more recent Small Talk issues. The Terri Schiavo situation is one that can make us all way too emotional.

So come back, be friends and stay. I'd love to hear how you're doing and how Maia is doing as well. Haven't mentioned her in a long, long time, so I guess she's doing well.

Your friend,

Nancy
 
I get bummed seeing my family argue about stuff that is not relevant or necessary. :( :( :( Eventually we argue about arguing. :mad: :mad: :mad: I'm not a big fan of posts going off topic, but when the posts got off this topic and started talking about sex, I cheered up. :D :D :D

Danny, that nurse was getting "it" less than you. :cool: ;) :rolleyes:
 
Wow!!!! Still got my head attached :D I think!!!!

I had to drop off last night because I "HAD" to get up early for my first Physical Therapy Appointment. So I'll try to be brief on the recent comments (me brief!!!! :rolleyes: ).

geebee,

Glad you served your "time out" properly. Really didn't keep a clock on you--we use the honor system here :D .

Ross,

You couldn't quit "type talking" even if they (who is "they" :confused: ) broke all your fingers. You would find a way (maybe with your nose--not going to address other body parts :D in trying to stay away from the "SEX" theme.

hensylee,

Ain't NOBODY that OLD :D :D :D

deboraginastewart,

You had better learn to pace yourself and not "use it up" so to speak. Must be that great air down there.

BionicRedneck,

Had a good laugh about the "vase" tale :) . But gotta ask whut is wrong with Wally World flowers. Sure you gotta pick thru to find a few good ones but they have saved my a** a few times with the little woman. One stop shopping--I'm all fer it. Take it from someone who knows all to well----don't ever forget an anniversary!!!!!!! :eek:

Missy,

Don't feel bad about starting the "Terri" thread. As long as we can keep the leash on "Barry" we'll survive this little spat.

knightfan2691,

?????????????????????????? :D This old country boy can't follow them big thoughts too good. Did understand the SEX, SEX, SEX. Looked at your driving plans earlier--you ain't coming fer enough South (actually Middle GA) to drop in. And be careful how you "pick" them Gerga Peaches--I picked mine over 37 years ago and she ain't gone bad on me yet. Just keep the Air Conditioner turned up in the Summer and the Heat turned down in the Winter.

Quetlin,

As a newbee here on VR.com I (and others) hope we have not driven you away (IS HE LOOKING THIS WAY???? :) ) for the second time. The "family" is still here to listen to the vents, rants, laugh with you (or about you sometime :D ), cry with you or offer a shoulder, provide advice or encouragement, and "just be there" sometimes. By the way, had a friend of mine that changed his E-Mail address every week. Said he had one for family and close friends but NEVER used that when going online. Haven't got that worried yet :confused:. Guess that will come back to bite me one day.

wise smith,

As an old "stick in the mud" Southern Baptist, I can identify with that "run over feeling". Don't ever get between a Baptist and FOOD. Most of ours are hurrying to get to the local eatery before the rest of the Churches :D .

Barry (the stick stirrer :D ),

Most of your topics are interesting and enlightening. Stay there and continue to "type" to the enjoyment of us all. Have to admit, we've had some good "Dinner Conversations" around the table lately. As a voluteer Fireman, I (along with Ross and others) will attempt to put out or dampen any flames you start. It is obvious you don't require a "lighter" :D .

Nancy,

I sure hope Quetlin doesn't leave either. Each one of us here has something to offer, either been there-done that, or giving support and a calming effect to someone facing what some of us have been through. I sure hope it wasn't anything I "typed". Unfortunately, as the memory of what we went through fades and we find we can enjoy life again we all drift off. Some quicker than others (no Ross this is not my swan (or is that Swann) song). I'll continue to type as long as y'all let me.

Guess that covers it. Hope so, my hands hurt :D . So,

See Y'all Around the Dinner Table and May God Bless,

Danny
 
hosacktom said:
I get bummed seeing my family argue about stuff that is not relevant or necessary. :( :( :( Eventually we argue about arguing. :mad: :mad: :mad: I'm not a big fan of posts going off topic, but when the posts got off this topic and started talking about sex, I cheered up. :D :D :D


Danny, that nurse was getting "it" less than you. :cool: ;) :rolleyes:

Somebody once said "you would start an argument just to hear yourself talk" and they weren't talking about me :eek: :eek: :eek: . Guess that holds true for "types" too.

Don't know, she :confused: ? looked very happy while she tore up my form :D . Now back to that sex thing :D :D :D :D HELLO!!!!!!!?????????

May God Bless,

Danny
 
gadgetman said:
wise smith,

As an old "stick in the mud" Southern Baptist, I can identify with that "run over feeling". Don't ever get between a Baptist and FOOD. Most of ours are hurrying to get to the local eatery before the rest of the Churches :D .

LOL...you know I forgot about that one. A buffet may be more dangerous than driving now that I think about it. (Actually some of the best folks I know are baptists, not that they wouldn't kill you over food though).
 
wise smith said:
gadgetman said:
wise smith,

As an old "stick in the mud" Southern Baptist, I can identify with that "run over feeling". Don't ever get between a Baptist and FOOD. Most of ours are hurrying to get to the local eatery before the rest of the Churches :D .

LOL...you know I forgot about that one. A buffet may be more dangerous than driving now that I think about it. (Actually some of the best folks I know are baptists, not that they wouldn't kill you over food though).

Growing up in a Southern Baptist environment gave me some great training in "throwing elbows" in basketball. Had to just about "fight" your way to get to the "good stuff", especially those "pot luck" suppers after service :D . For people who can be somewhat reserved during service they sure "come alive" when around FOOD. And as for those baptist friends, they just let you think that to hide the fact that they are trying to get you to convert :D .

May God Bless,

Danny
 
gadgetman said:
Growing up in a Southern Baptist environment gave me some great training in "throwing elbows" in basketball. Had to just about "fight" your way to get to the "good stuff", especially those "pot luck" suppers after service :D . For people who can be somewhat reserved during service they sure "come alive" when around FOOD. And as for those baptist friends, they just let you think that to hide the fact that they are trying to get you to convert :D .

Come to think of it, the most influential southern baptist I knew was a payroll manager. She was a tough cookie, I'll tell you. But, she always seemed to "convert" us in the personnel office I worked in. Convert us, as to her way of thinking, i.e., what to do at office gatherings, what gift to buy the boss, where to eat special office meals, etc. I guess she must've been the ultimate southern baptist because she weighed probably close to 300 lbs. She has since backslid and lost a whole lot of weight. This lady was my biggest (no pun intended) advocate, other than my wife, during some very rough periods in my life. But, she'd also be the first in line to kick my you know what...and that wouldn't have been pretty. Sorry for the bunny trail, but you got me thinking.
 
gadgetman said:
Barry (the stick stirrer :D ),

Most of your topics are interesting and enlightening. Stay there and continue to "type" to the enjoyment of us all. Have to admit, we've had some good "Dinner Conversations" around the table lately. As a voluteer Fireman, I (along with Ross and others) will attempt to put out or dampen any flames you start. It is obvious you don't require a "lighter" :D .

If I start flames, I actually would very much appreciate feedback from you, Ross, and others.

I guess I've got a somewhat different perspective than many others on contentious topics, don't find them inherently annoying. In fact, I find them generally entertaining: I very much enjoy civil enlightened discussion of controversial topics. But I also very much loathe disrespectful arguments about any topic. I enjoy participating in the Debating Team, but find flame wars to be annoying, tedious, and fundamentally disheartening.

You know, one of the tragedies of the 60's I think is that it was then that Americans seemed to have lost the ability to speak with one another respectfully about things they passionately disagreed about. I'm hoping we've re-learned how to do it.
 
Barry,

When I was in the military I had a guy (this is where the watercooler tie in came from) who worked for me. He would always come into a group, no matter who was there, drop a "bomb" on some "HOT" subject, then drop back and watch the fireworks. When a fistfight almost broke out over one of his "bombs" :eek: I finally had to talk to him and ask him to lighten up somewhat. He seemed to be more careful about the nature of his "bombs" after then :) .

Hope you wasn't in the Military. If so, remember me??????? :D

May God Bless,

Danny
 
Most of the time this isn't a flame-throwing group.

I think we all have too many medical fires to put out to want to engage in yet more firey things. Anxiety happens quite frequently here without any other outside help.

But it is really refreshing to enjoy some fun and diversions that take our minds off the very, very serious stuff that goes on every day.

And another thing--we all value life and respect what we have to do to stay alive. It's mighty hard work, not only for the person with the medical problems but for their loved ones as well.
 
gadgetman said:
Hope you wasn't in the Military.

Yep, I was in the military. One of the more absurd instances of bad judgment and ironic turn of circumstance in my life.

1968 and I lose my student deferrment, get called in for my pre-induction physical. I was very much opposed to the Vietnam War on political grounds. But political opposition doesn't qualify one for Conscientious Objector status, I didn't have the physical courage to go to prision as a war resistor, nor did I have the moral courage to go to Canada as a draft dodger.

I'd noticed at various dams that there was always a sign saying "US Army Corps of Engineers", so I decided that I would enlist for Engineers and stay stateside and kill rivers instead of going overseas to kill Vietnamese.

Got in Engineers. One slight problem - then got assigned to a Combat Engineers batallion. And in the same year as the Tet Offensive!

In retrospect I find it kinda funny. I was just a kid, and my harebrained idea for how to deal with the prospect of getting drafted to fight a war I didn't believe in backfired on me entirely.

So that was you who was always hanging out by the water cooler in the motor pool?
 
gadgetman

gadgetman

I have been on boards that all it takes is one innocent word or statement and everyone gets offensive or abusive. We all have the right to an opinion, but we are clinical, because we are trying to under all the medical jargon and procedures and surgeries. It is hard to understand the changes and medical treatments. I had to say something. We are here to make friends, not enemies. We all get along here and blow off steam at times. Just don't get to carried away. Keep coming in and giving your opinion. We need to share our smart minds here.
 
Barry said:
Yep, I was in the military. One of the more absurd instances of bad judgment and ironic turn of circumstance in my life.

1968 and I lose my student deferrment, get called in for my pre-induction physical. I was very much opposed to the Vietnam War on political grounds. But political opposition doesn't qualify one for Conscientious Objector status, I didn't have the physical courage to go to prision as a war resistor, nor did I have the moral courage to go to Canada as a draft dodger.

I'd noticed at various dams that there was always a sign saying "US Army Corps of Engineers", so I decided that I would enlist for Engineers and stay stateside and kill rivers instead of going overseas to kill Vietnamese.

Got in Engineers. One slight problem - then got assigned to a Combat Engineers batallion. And in the same year as the Tet Offensive!

In retrospect I find it kinda funny. I was just a kid, and my harebrained idea for how to deal with the prospect of getting drafted to fight a war I didn't believe in backfired on me entirely.

So that was you who was always hanging out by the water cooler in the motor pool?

Entered the military in 67 while facing the draft. Never was an objector but just didn't like the idea of someone trying to kill me. Got a heads up that I was going to be drafted. I contacted my half-brother (17 years older than me) who was in the Air Force at the time (he wound up doing a tour of Vietnam by the way). I asked him for advice. He said if you want to get your 2 years over with, hope you survive, and never look back let the Army draft you. He also said I would probably show up in a rice patty some where??? But if I wanted to get something I might be able to use after I got out go into the Air Force or Navy because they would at least train me to do something beside carry a weapon. Didn't think I would like ship duty so I joined the Air Force. Guam is as close as I ever got to Vietnam. Didn't break my heart at all.

I was a Radio Operator while in Guam (thought I would be safe as an operator--they didn't have to go out in the field). Came back to the states then went to Germany where things ended before I returned. It turned out to be a good think. Army was running out of radio operators and were "drafting" AF and Navy operators to go out with Army units. The thought of walking around with a big antenna sticking up saying "shoot me" scared the heck out of me.

Never was at a watercooler in a motor pool, only went there to pick up a vehicle and get right out.

May God Bless,

Danny
 
gadgetman, close call: Yep, there's a reason why the Army was running out of radio operators. Glad you made it through OK.
 
Can I Post again?

Can I Post again?

Gosh, I have not been posting now for many days because our member from "Down Under" posted on his drug thread that we old timers :eek: should go back to our knitting and cake decorating.. :D :D So, I have knitted 3 sweaters and baked and decorated 3 cakes. :p :p :p ..and stayed out of these odd threads not relating to Valve replacement. :D :D :D But, I see my best friend and avatar buddy, Ann posting..so I guess it is safe. :D ..I care not to post about drugs or guns.....my son was accepted into our local sheriff's Department when he was only age 20.... Fifteen years later and now a very gray-haired Mom..he has served on everything in the Law Enforcement..from their Red Dog division..(Ridding every drug dealer out of Georgia)Being the one that kicked the doors down. :eek: :eek: Head of the local dive team..diving for drowned victims in our large lake near Atlanta ( Lake Lanier)..to now being a hostage negotiator ( I know most of you saw what happened in Atlanta a few weeks ago. Well, he was right in it. :eek: and I was glued to the T,V, not knowing, if he may be the next one shot by that killer.... :eek: :eek: I have to live everyday..knowing that he is putting himself in danger..to save kidswith guns ( many times he's had to mace them from keeping them from killing themselves..( and then going to court pleading with the Judge to keep them from the hard jails)..on his own..no pay.. :) :) :) so..I need not read the threads about :what do you think about drugs and guns)..AND I don't.... Oh, well, back to my knitting and cake decorating... :D :D Bonnie
 
Bonnie,

You are so funny. I wish I had spent the last few days knitting so I would have stayed out of trouble but, stubborn Taurus person that I am, I did not.

Please say thanks to your son for me. People like him are the reasons we can all sleep easier.
 
P.s.

P.s.

I have MANY friends on V.R. com that know, that I have helped raise my son's age now 12 year old son...He has had him since age 2 weeks...Well, he's (grandson) is on spring Break and staying with me this week. Yesterday, he called his Dad on mobile phone to tell him about catching a large Bass in our Lake. Dad told him great and that he was on a call and would call him later. After, he (grandson) hung up.. He (Grandson said to me..I hate my daddy is a policeman.. :( :( :( and I had to tell him, NOT to worry....Nothing will happen to your Daddy...He's now at the age that sees things happen on T.V... :eek: :eek: :eek: When he was younger..he loved when his Dad came to pick him up with all the gadgets on him..but, now...he knows the danger. :eek: :eek: Bonnie
 
:D Bonnie, could you send me one of the cakes. :D Pretty please? :D

I know a bit of how you feel. One of my older cousins lived with us when I was in Jr. High and went to college. He became like a brother. He graduated and promptly entered a police force. Then he became an undercover narcotics officer, then a homicide detective, and has been an undercover narcotics officer again, for the last 10 years. I worry about him all the time (He is a narc in a large town close to the Mexican border.) Thankfully he will be retiring soon.

Kids give us gray hair to begin with, apparently your son thought you might look good in gray and decided to see that it happened fast than normal. Please pass along my appreciation for his service.
 

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