Who wants to live forever

[susiesknight]

I really have no desire to live forever here on planet Earth but definitely believe in eternal life in heaven with my maker plus all my loved ones already there. I don't fear death but am hopeful my departure from here will not be a prolonged painful journey so my faith to see beyond circumstance and trust in God are my deepest comfort. Having already experienced the death of my first husband from Werner's Syndrome(leaving me to raise our 4 kids under age 12), going through my 2 year old daughter's surgery, my own surgeries of a congenital atrophic pelvic kidney at age 25 and AVR/aorta graft at age 58 1/2 for a congenital BAV, I truly understand the precious nature of life. When I am no longer of this world, I believe from heaven I'll experience a joy of watching my loved ones still on earth, while embarcing the freedom of a perfect body. My OHS was again an opportunity to draw close to my maker and experience his faithfulness in being there thru the whole process, and to know beyond any doubt that I would be ok no matter what. My husband to this day weeps when he recounts the angelic host around me when he first saw me in the ICCU right after surgery, and said it was as if he was given a glimpse of heaven!

AVR and aorta graft
22mm Medtronic Freestyle Root valve
3/11/09
Dr. David McGiffin, my awesome Aussie, UAB

 

[knoxbone09]

I went through a personal crisis this summer after being diagnosed with BAV and informed of a future surgery--though it remains a decade or so away. I'm 22 and a recent college graduate so it made my transition to "real life" slightly more difficult *laughs*. I can't imagine yet the existential crisis that accompanies OHS, and I have a great deal of respect for everyone here who has been through it; some multiple times. I too have rediscovered religion to a degree, and death no longer has the same connotation as it once did for me, and that it still does for many of my peers who have yet to feel vulnerability or their own mortality.

I am personally undecided about the prospect of an afterlife, but I have found solace in analyzing the nature of my fear. As Kennedy phrased it, what do we have to really fear besides fear itself? Death is a road that comes to us all, though the manner in which it occurs does vary. I am sorry to hear about the battle that your close relative has to fight Bridgette, my thoughts are with her and others who have such difficult challenges to face.

I hope, though, that everyone can find some peace in their thoughts about death.

 

[PairoDocs]

Having my faith in Jesus Christ has not made me want to die sooner, in fact I want to live even longer, so I can have the time to do the things in life I'm supposed to do. Even if I have to outlive everyone else I knew in my youth, it would still be worth it. As a scientist who has not had the opportunity to do productive research since 1993, having a long time ahead would be a real bonus. If I could have another 50+ years as a clear-headed individual with the means and technology to resume research, I'd be happy to continue. As Kepler once said, "We think God's thoughts after Him." I believe that God has hidden many wonders in nature, and it's up to us scientists to find them and share them with the world. I want to find the glorious treasures God has hidden for me to find and share--and I want to have the time to do it.

There of course is my scientific skepticism that creeps in and makes me question my faith and its veracity. My faith generally wins out, though, but there's that little bit of fear and doubt that lingers in the background. The ever-present "What if it isn't true?" "What if when I die, the essence of Chris is just shut off like a switch, never to be turned on again?" I guess until I get to see Jesus face-to-face, there will always be that little bit of doubt--part of the human condition of walking by faith and not by sight. I guess it will make us appreciate it all the much more when we do get to see the Glory of God, since we'll be hoping for it our entire mortal lives.

I also am aware of how immature my faith is, and how much more growth I have. I want to be able to "Finish the race" as Paul the Apostle admonishes. I don't want to be "disqualified for the prize." I don't want to be just barely admitted into Heaven; I want to be grown up enough to return Christ's investment in me multiplied many times so He could say with genuine joy, "Well done well, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in a few things; I will put you in charge of many things." When I nearly died on Dec. 11-12th 2007, I did not have a near-death experience, but when I initially decided to die, I did not experience peace. Instead I felt it was wrong for me to want to die (an inner sense of turmoil--a check in the spirit as it were). Then and there I decided to live (that and being convinced that Laura really loved me). I didn't get glorious peace, just a sense that I had made the right decision. I'm now here to type this, so what I sensed was really God's will for me.

It's not been easy, but every day I wake up I know I'm a little bit closer to discovering why God decided that it was not my time to die last year. Frankly, I still don't know why I'm still here, but in time I'll know. Of course the family needs me here, but beyond that I don't know. I want to live long enough to find out why, and the wisdom to properly put that knowledge to use.

Chris