Megan
Well-known member
Ditto on all these thoughts for you Ross.. You Rock Man 
and I miss your "voice" - you are in my prayers. Megan
and I miss your "voice" - you are in my prayers. Megan
Ross??? where are you?
- Thread starter hensylee
- Start date
Help Support Valve Replacement Forums:
Ross, add me to your list of admirers. I appreciate all you do in keeping this site going. You are fair, caring, smart and funny. It takes a special person to keep this place in line. Thanks. Sending good thoughts and hugs your way.
Marguerite53
Premium Level User
Sunday, noon Pacific. Ross posted a remark (a touching remark) on the thread about TBone (in the In Loving Memory forum). Ross is around.
Hugs.
Marguerite
Hugs.
Marguerite
Ross
Well-known member
I've contemplated for days, staying or leaving this site.
After careful review of my feelings, I've decided that leaving serves no purpose.
Nothing has changed about this site. Not one thing. There are still cliques, PM undergrounding, and other assorted stuff going on that will never change. Every forum has them. It will all continue whether or not I stay or leave. The only thing different would be that you'd be missing another member.
There are 1500+ thinking, breathing, brainy people here. Every single one of you thinks differently on the same issues. It's impossible to take any action or lack of action, without it resulting in negative consequences each and every time. No matter what is done, someone is unhappy.
I've been blamed for starting the HCR thread. I did not. I merely got trapped as the first poster when the old server went down on July 14TH. I've been accused of using the thumbs up icon as if to say, "The thread is back up and running, now we can continue" like I'm thumbing my nose at those that do not wish to participate in it nor agree with it. I don't pay attention to icons. I do not pay attention to post counts. I look at posts,post content, persons medical histories and the like. I never even realized there was a thumbs up icon and regardless, that is how the thread was started by the originator. The debate going on was semi decent until someone complained to the owner and the WAR room got created, then it all went south. Personal attacks, thread crapping, everything possible to get it shut down. Since those attempts have failed, some people decide to protest that by leaving. The HCR thread is no different then the valve wars that have ensued. When people don't like them, they don't participate in them, so why is it that we have to have such a ruckus over the HCR thread? May I remind all of you that while your active participants in the forums and you feel as though you have ownership of it, you are guests in the owners forum and you are only guests.
What I can not figure out to this minute is, if a forum has a warning posted on it that says "If you don't want your feathers ruffled DO NOT ENTER" and people still go into it, KNOWINGLY,then get their feathers ruffled, get mad and leave. You were warned not to go there to begin with, so who's fault is it?
Not long ago, the same tactics were used against the owners judgment on the issue of a certain member. What you don't know is that this forum was within a mouse click away of not being here for anyone. It came very close to not having a small talk forum either. I've been sitting back and watching. I figure if I'm not posting, then there shouldn't be any problem, but the problems still continue regardless. There is only one thread that some of you have a real problem with and you've already been told if you don't like it, stay out of it. It can't be any clearer then that. Why must the whole forum come to a grinding halt, with people leaving, because a few people don't like it?
There's nitpicking, armchair moderating and all sorts of destructive behavior going on right here in small talk. Do you really want to see the Joke thread, photo's threads, Throw downs and all other non heart related matters destroyed? Is that what would make you happy? Purely a heart talk forum with absolutely no deviation? No more joking in ANY thread at any time? I don't know about you, but if I want to be bored to death, I can just go to the Doctors office and get that.
My only concern, from day one, was for this forum to become the greatest support site for valve replacement surgery. I hope that all of you share that vision also. Can we cut the destructive behavior and become constructive and productive? Stop this silliness of reading into things that are not there, stop this lawyer ball thing with every single word a person posts, stop all the childish behavior in general?
I think it's pretty bad when I can post "Good Morning" and someone goes into auto tuning mode and decides that because I said "Good Morning" I have malicious intent behind it. Yes, it's that bad! It's gone on so long that it's actually got me doing the same thing and now I've become defensive. No one should be feeling like this. There is no reason for it. Some of you are complaining that just having HCR/WAR room thread/forum here is stressful and I'm telling you some of the actions being taken by some members around here are more stressful then any thread/forum could be.
We've made a lot of progress in bettering the site, but there is still a lot more that can be done. Could we possibly WORK TOGETHER to make that an achievable goal? Peacefully, productively and harmoniously? There are going to be times when things get discussed and a heated debate ensues. Do all of them have to turn into something ugly or is it possible to be respectful to one another and debate it in a civil manor, without insults and personal attacks and done in an adult manor?
I came to this forum in December of 2001, a scared person about to face another OHS just like the rest of you. If it were not for the members at that time, there is no doubt in my mind that I would not have made it. I had the wind in my sails knocked out of me but good from the surgery and was deeply depressed. So much so, that it was affecting my recovery. My son printed off everything you had to say to me and brought it to me. Listening to you, I was able to pull myself out of the dirt and start shaking it off. I'm forever indebted to you for that. For that reason, that is why I have stayed here. To help others that will go in and no doubt, some will be on the brink of death, and it's then that I hope to make the same difference to them, as you did for me.
I've cried with you, laughed with you, celebrated with you, shared with you, 9 years of my life. You are my family. I hate to think that there are a couple of family members that would rather cause problems in the family, then to allow the family unit to exist as one.
After careful review of my feelings, I've decided that leaving serves no purpose.
Nothing has changed about this site. Not one thing. There are still cliques, PM undergrounding, and other assorted stuff going on that will never change. Every forum has them. It will all continue whether or not I stay or leave. The only thing different would be that you'd be missing another member.
There are 1500+ thinking, breathing, brainy people here. Every single one of you thinks differently on the same issues. It's impossible to take any action or lack of action, without it resulting in negative consequences each and every time. No matter what is done, someone is unhappy.
I've been blamed for starting the HCR thread. I did not. I merely got trapped as the first poster when the old server went down on July 14TH. I've been accused of using the thumbs up icon as if to say, "The thread is back up and running, now we can continue" like I'm thumbing my nose at those that do not wish to participate in it nor agree with it. I don't pay attention to icons. I do not pay attention to post counts. I look at posts,post content, persons medical histories and the like. I never even realized there was a thumbs up icon and regardless, that is how the thread was started by the originator. The debate going on was semi decent until someone complained to the owner and the WAR room got created, then it all went south. Personal attacks, thread crapping, everything possible to get it shut down. Since those attempts have failed, some people decide to protest that by leaving. The HCR thread is no different then the valve wars that have ensued. When people don't like them, they don't participate in them, so why is it that we have to have such a ruckus over the HCR thread? May I remind all of you that while your active participants in the forums and you feel as though you have ownership of it, you are guests in the owners forum and you are only guests.
What I can not figure out to this minute is, if a forum has a warning posted on it that says "If you don't want your feathers ruffled DO NOT ENTER" and people still go into it, KNOWINGLY,then get their feathers ruffled, get mad and leave. You were warned not to go there to begin with, so who's fault is it?
Not long ago, the same tactics were used against the owners judgment on the issue of a certain member. What you don't know is that this forum was within a mouse click away of not being here for anyone. It came very close to not having a small talk forum either. I've been sitting back and watching. I figure if I'm not posting, then there shouldn't be any problem, but the problems still continue regardless. There is only one thread that some of you have a real problem with and you've already been told if you don't like it, stay out of it. It can't be any clearer then that. Why must the whole forum come to a grinding halt, with people leaving, because a few people don't like it?
There's nitpicking, armchair moderating and all sorts of destructive behavior going on right here in small talk. Do you really want to see the Joke thread, photo's threads, Throw downs and all other non heart related matters destroyed? Is that what would make you happy? Purely a heart talk forum with absolutely no deviation? No more joking in ANY thread at any time? I don't know about you, but if I want to be bored to death, I can just go to the Doctors office and get that.
My only concern, from day one, was for this forum to become the greatest support site for valve replacement surgery. I hope that all of you share that vision also. Can we cut the destructive behavior and become constructive and productive? Stop this silliness of reading into things that are not there, stop this lawyer ball thing with every single word a person posts, stop all the childish behavior in general?
I think it's pretty bad when I can post "Good Morning" and someone goes into auto tuning mode and decides that because I said "Good Morning" I have malicious intent behind it. Yes, it's that bad! It's gone on so long that it's actually got me doing the same thing and now I've become defensive. No one should be feeling like this. There is no reason for it. Some of you are complaining that just having HCR/WAR room thread/forum here is stressful and I'm telling you some of the actions being taken by some members around here are more stressful then any thread/forum could be.
We've made a lot of progress in bettering the site, but there is still a lot more that can be done. Could we possibly WORK TOGETHER to make that an achievable goal? Peacefully, productively and harmoniously? There are going to be times when things get discussed and a heated debate ensues. Do all of them have to turn into something ugly or is it possible to be respectful to one another and debate it in a civil manor, without insults and personal attacks and done in an adult manor?
I came to this forum in December of 2001, a scared person about to face another OHS just like the rest of you. If it were not for the members at that time, there is no doubt in my mind that I would not have made it. I had the wind in my sails knocked out of me but good from the surgery and was deeply depressed. So much so, that it was affecting my recovery. My son printed off everything you had to say to me and brought it to me. Listening to you, I was able to pull myself out of the dirt and start shaking it off. I'm forever indebted to you for that. For that reason, that is why I have stayed here. To help others that will go in and no doubt, some will be on the brink of death, and it's then that I hope to make the same difference to them, as you did for me.
I've cried with you, laughed with you, celebrated with you, shared with you, 9 years of my life. You are my family. I hate to think that there are a couple of family members that would rather cause problems in the family, then to allow the family unit to exist as one.
Nancy
Well-known member
Good Lord! I'm so glad you decided to stay! As you said, these things go on everywhere, not just on the Internet, but even in the workplace. I never worked anywhere where there wasn't some kind of secret inner circle. For some reason, I was never a part of it. Guess I chose not to dish dirt with the rest of them all the time. Sometimes-- though you just have to get into a little gossip
Let's just all try to help one another and try to not take things personally.
Peace and love---
Let's just all try to help one another and try to not take things personally.
Peace and love---
EireCara
Well-known member
Ross, I am truly very happy that you have decided to stay. ((((HUGS))))) x
Wow, Rossman.......I guess I'm just glad to say that I'm sooooo out of "the loop" that I can't believe all of this has been happening. All I know is that this is one of the very best sites for anyone who is in the waiting room, having valve replacement, or for family members who need support. Why in the world would ANYONE want to ruin that???? With the number of members that we have, of course not everyone is going to agree on everything......if you aren't going to like something, then don't open the thread!!!
Get a grip, people!!! This is one of the best sites around and we should damned well appreciate it and the people in charge.
Evelyn
Get a grip, people!!! This is one of the best sites around and we should damned well appreciate it and the people in charge.
Evelyn
Wishing you a peaceful time ahead......
Ross,
I totally agree with everything you said.
Some of the stuff that has gone on in recent years has made me keep my distance as well.
We all have our own opinions about this,that, and everything, but that is no reason for any of us not to get along with each other.
Hopefully we can concentrate on the most important reason we are here, and that is to help each other.
To me there is no better feeling, than to know I have helped someone get thru valve surgery. I would like to think my thirteen years of experience can benefit others.
So Ross if you are going to hang in here, than I will also.
Rich
I totally agree with everything you said.
Some of the stuff that has gone on in recent years has made me keep my distance as well.
We all have our own opinions about this,that, and everything, but that is no reason for any of us not to get along with each other.
Hopefully we can concentrate on the most important reason we are here, and that is to help each other.
To me there is no better feeling, than to know I have helped someone get thru valve surgery. I would like to think my thirteen years of experience can benefit others.
So Ross if you are going to hang in here, than I will also.
Rich
Wonderful to see you back and posting and staying, Rossman. This site wouldn't be great without you.
netmiff
Well-known member
W O O - H O O ! ! ! ! !
The Ross-meister is back !
____________________________
Having said that, and having been a volunteer moderator on a board of 3,000 souls, it is a hard job, and there is always stuff going on behind the scenes that members don't know about. The hardest part is NOT to take it personally. I eventually got "fired" for something that Yahoo! did (it was a Yahoo!Group).
And I agree totally, if you want to post to the heart-only threads and not read the other stuff, go ahead. Personally, I like the banter in small talk, I think the throwdowns and the active lifestyle threads are very useful, too. But, as I say, if you don't like that flavout of ice cream - don't eat it!
The Ross-meister is back !
____________________________
Having said that, and having been a volunteer moderator on a board of 3,000 souls, it is a hard job, and there is always stuff going on behind the scenes that members don't know about. The hardest part is NOT to take it personally. I eventually got "fired" for something that Yahoo! did (it was a Yahoo!Group).
And I agree totally, if you want to post to the heart-only threads and not read the other stuff, go ahead. Personally, I like the banter in small talk, I think the throwdowns and the active lifestyle threads are very useful, too. But, as I say, if you don't like that flavout of ice cream - don't eat it!
G
geebee
Ross,
Thanks for the wonderful words and sentiments. I am very happy to see you posting and hope your message is taken to heart by all.
I love you and you were sorely missed.
Thanks for the wonderful words and sentiments. I am very happy to see you posting and hope your message is taken to heart by all.
I love you and you were sorely missed.
thenewmarket
Well-known member
I truly don't know what has been going on but I know it has been sad not to see Ross posting. Ross, your wisdom and support is so valuable! Thanks for sharing with countless people around the world..................
Ross:
So glad you're going to stay!
I guess I stay out of the loop. I don't do Facebook, Twitter, etc., do few PMs or private e-mails, so I'm not sure what was going on. Whatever it was, it wasn't productive for this website.
Again -- glad you're staying!!!!!!!!!!!!
So glad you're going to stay!
I guess I stay out of the loop. I don't do Facebook, Twitter, etc., do few PMs or private e-mails, so I'm not sure what was going on. Whatever it was, it wasn't productive for this website.
Again -- glad you're staying!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would agree with that! Ross so glad to hear from you, was concerned
because I did not see you posting, but know that you had lost a best
friend and know that takes a toll on anyone. Thanks for all that you
do to connect and manage this site. It has been a God send to me
during my pre-operative days. Know that your work and concern is
appreciated much more than you probably hear. Laura B.
I keep seeing references to Facebook, Twitter, etc. I do those (especially Facebook) but not to be part of some "clique." They in no way replace vr.com, and I talk about issues wholly different from vr.com on them. ANYONE is free to join or not join -- these are not some secret societies or anything. (Quite to the contrary.) Just wanted to clarify.
Ross, I've been here almost as long as you have (about 6 months less), and I've seen these ups and downs and generally have to roll my eyes at the pettiness. But I've never been among the attacked, and I hate, hate, hate that you have. I generally do just as you suggested. I stay out of it. *shrug* I don't come here every day like I used to, but that's due to life circumstances, not a lack of love for everyone here. You are my family and I would hate to see VR shut down for any reason.
(((Ross))) I'm so glad you're here!
I generally do just as you suggested. I stay out of it. *shrug* I don't come here every day like I used to, but that's due to life circumstances, not a lack of love for everyone here. You are my family and I would hate to see VR shut down for any reason.(((Ross))) I'm so glad you're here!
L
Lisa in Katy
Welcome back Ross. Looking forward to more of your posts.
I am on Facebook, mostly to keep up with friends that I used to spend time with but rarely see as life moves on. I wouldn't know how to become friends with anyone from here because I don't know anyone's full name, and there are lots of Bobs on Facebook! Regardless, this is the place for heart valve stuff. That is simply a social network.
I am on Facebook, mostly to keep up with friends that I used to spend time with but rarely see as life moves on. I wouldn't know how to become friends with anyone from here because I don't know anyone's full name, and there are lots of Bobs on Facebook! Regardless, this is the place for heart valve stuff. That is simply a social network.
Glad to see you back Ross!
And yes, I am farming in Facebook but I always return to VR because this is where all the ppl I have something in common are!
Peace & Love, amen to that!
And yes, I am farming in Facebook but I always return to VR because this is where all the ppl I have something in common are!
Peace & Love, amen to that!
Glad to see you back Ross!
And yes, I am farming in Facebook but I always return to VR because this is where all the ppl I have something in common are!
Peace & Love, amen to that!
Norma, get your little butt back on the farm and harvest my berries.
