Pooches vs. Mooches
Pooches vs. Mooches
The Mooches vs. The Pooches
This story supposedly is true, though it occurred many years ago somewhere in California. I'll call the hospitable family "A" and the moochers "B".
A hospitable family has been allowing some neighbors to come over frequently for dinner with their family because they think these neighbors are very poor and can't afford to feed themselves and their children properly. This has been going on for many years.
Then one day Mrs. A overhears Mrs. B describe their nice vacation to Disneyland and Universal Studios in Anaheim with the money they have saved from eating over at their "friends'" house to another friend. Then Mrs. B goes on about other trips and luxuries they have been able to afford over the years. It turns out that the B family actually has a higher income than the A family. This infuriates Mrs. A, but she is a kindhearted person and can't bring herself to directly confront the B family, so she talks to her husband and children and asks them for ideas. They come up with a fantastic plan to which they all agree.
The B family comes over for dinner as usual the next night, dressed 'poorly' as is their habit. The A family politely listens again, apparently sympathetically, to family B's stories of financial 'woe' and day-to-day 'struggles' to 'make ends meet'. Most of the time right after dinner the B family would excuse themselves after thanking the A family effusively for their kindness and generosity. This time, however Mrs. A wants to show them their unique way of washing the dishes.
Mrs A says, "Mr. and Mrs. B and kids, come into the kitchen. I want to show you something. You know how expensive water is these days, with the drought and all of that. Also how dishsoap is murder on my hands?" She shows them her perfect hands (In reality she wears rubber gloves while doing the dishes.). "Years ago we came up with a solution to both of these problems. I bet nobody else you know washes dishes the way we do it."
The A family kids and her husband clear the table of the dishes and carry them into the kitchen and lay them out neatly on the floor. The B family is perplexed and curiously follows family A into the kitchen. Then Mrs. A whistles and calls in their four small house dogs (assorted mutts and a dachshund) and says, "Time to wash the dishes!!" The little dogs, always begging at the table, eagerly run in to do their part.
The dogs go to town on each plate, licking every scrap of leftover dinner off. The pointed snout of the dachshund fits nicely into each milk glass so he licks each one until it sparkles. Then they noisily lick clean each utensil. Finally the dogs wander off to Mrs. A saying, "Such good little dishwashers aren't you!" Then to the B family she says with a broad smile, "They're so cute when they're helping around the kitchen, aren't they?" She can't help but notice that the every member of the B family has a shocked look on his/her face and is speechless. The plan is working better than she had hoped. Now to swoop in for the kill...
Mrs. A then picks up a shiny spotless plate and says with an even broader smile (inwardly she struggles to keep from bursting out in laughter), snapping it with a forefinger to make it ring, "Perfectly clean, not a spot on it!" Then she and her husband and kids put away the 'clean' dishes. The B family is still silent at this point, with looks of disgust and horror even more obvious now on each face. Mrs. A says, "Not a drop of wasted dishsoap, nor a drop of water, either. Clean dry dishes, clean dry sink. What else can you ask for?" Then she puckishly adds, "See you all here tomorrow night. You may stick around after dinner and watch our darling little doggie dishwashers do their jobs again if you'd like."
The B family quickly excuse themselves. When the B family is completely gone, the A family, roaring with laughter, takes down the dog-licked dishes and utensils and washes them properly with soap and water.
The B family doesn't come back.
Family A, The Pooches: 1
Family B, The Mooches: 0
Enjoy!
Chris
