I don’t know what to do anymore

[DaveLee]

Unlike everyone it seems, I’m 17 with a mechanical heart valve, I had it replaced last year and I experienced no symptoms beforehand but whatever.
The tick has ruined my life, I’m now extremely depressed because of it. Idk if I got really unlucky and I got a super loud valve, but this valve is extremely loud. I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

idk what I can do anymore, I never expected this and it has completely ruined my life in every aspect. I don’t even like sitting in cars if the engine is off unless my door is open because the valve is that loud.

Yes I did but I seem to have posted it down a few post, sorry it was late and I dont know how to delete this

 

[LondonAndy]

@DaveLee - did you mean to add something here?

 

[carolinemc]

Sounds more like you are suffering from a form of depression. Have you talks to your parents about how you are dealing with the recovery from OPS? You need to talk to someone. Teenage depression is very serious and hinders your recovery. I will pray for you and hope you get the help you need. For depression is no longer a dirty word.

 

[DaveLee]

MY valve was installed 14 years and I also had a loud valve**, your not alone. I also had stage 3 heat block so now I also have a pacemaker. What I do when in bed at night is I listen to it, I dont try to ignore it Yea I know sounds funny After my heart rate comes down I pick up the rhythm. Like thump thump thump thump pause repeat. Once I pick up the rhythm, I try to match it in my head Before I know it, its the next day. The point is work with it not against it.
Best of luck Dave

** even my wife does not hear it anymore.

 

[Chuck C]

The point is work with it not against it.

I like that!

 

[newarrior]

I'm not 17. But I did have the same valve replaced by a mechanical. If someone asked about a ticking noise, I would say "I had surgery and part of my heart was replaced". The person may ask followup questions. Or they may not.

That's one of the best posts I've ever seen here thanks.

 

[Zara0006]

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[Joseph]

Will just add to the discussion with my experience. I had my mitral valve replaced when I was 29, so not quite as young as @SadAnonymous but still young-ish. It sucked obviously and really brought on severe depression, particularly after the recovery period. I'm sure some of that was attributable to the constant ticking in my head. For any high schooler who read Poe it was like the Tell-Tale Heart. That constant sound reminding me I was guilty broken. I was already a generally pessimistic and dark person and surgery didn't improve that. It wasn't easy to overcome but, as some have suggested, it is depression regardless and professional help may be a good idea. Don't be ashamed to talk to people about it, you did nothing wrong and it was just the evolutionary lottery we all play. Try to view this as a new opportunity at life (yeah, I know) since you are young and really do have a long life ahead of you.

I'm still dark but wouldn't trade my current life for anything, honestly. Hell, I look back and kick myself for not doing more once I was back on my feet. I kept living my life, learning to live with the ticking, and tried to make the best of it (again, yeah, I know). That period following surgery was the worst, no lie. But it gets better.

For myself, I started to embrace the ticking and the new life I was afforded by the surgery. While on a long and quiet elevator ride at work a coworker commented that someone had a loud watch. I pointed at my naked wrist and said "Oh, that's me". You just roll with it at some point, you get used to it like so many other things in life. It isn't the end of the road, just a change in direction.

 

[Protimenow]

I've written about this before. I was in the second row at a press conference. One of the participants in the row in front of me, and a few seats over, kept turning his head, glaring in my direction. He seemed to be getting increasingly annoyed.

I knew what was bothering him. I faced him, and, as if the ticking was going from my mouth to my chest, I aimed this at him.

After a while, he looked behind him and shouted 'who's wearing the cheap (maybe he said 'loud') watch?'

I looked at him and said 'it's not a watch. It's my heart.'

I watched as he sank into his chair.

 

[newarrior]

Two heartening life stories there from Superman and Pel. Beautiful.

Mate its not easy, I’m still coming to terms with the ticking, even after 6 yrs, I’ve found just lately when deer hunting mates are hearing things I can’t cause of the ticking
Still shot 2 nice stags in the weekend.

But misery loves company and I found early on in this journey knowing you are not the only one in the world thats ticking helped immensly.
Sleeping at first was a struggle and still is time to time but these says I wear a grind guard and a CPAP machine so tickings the least of my worries haha.
I find actually listening to the valve when trying to sleep makes me sleep rather than a mental fight not to hear it.

I think other people will hear it less than you think and then if they do who gives a toss really. I find the only place I dont hear my valve is in the shower with the water noise.
Just know you are not alone in this.

As Pellicle suggested perhaps see a mental health professional, I did after my AVR. Theres no shame in seeking help.
.

So the noise impedes hearing ?

 

[oo0My_Valve0oo]

So the noise impedes hearing ?

If you are needing to hear every subtle crunch of leaves on the ground at varying distances anything like a ticking in your immediate proximity could interfere with that, at least this is how I perceived what was described.

To the OP, seek counseling. You would benefit from being trained to deal with anything which is an annoyance. It is one of their specialties.