I don’t know what to do anymore

[carolinemc]

Unlike everyone it seems, I’m 17 with a mechanical heart valve, I had it replaced last year and I experienced no symptoms beforehand but whatever.
The tick has ruined my life, I’m now extremely depressed because of it. Idk if I got really unlucky and I got a super loud valve, but this valve is extremely loud. I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

idk what I can do anymore, I never expected this and it has completely ruined my life in every aspect. I don’t even like sitting in cars if the engine is off unless my door is open because the valve is that loud.
[/Q

Loud? You should try two mechanical valves beating simultaneously. My wife can hear it (sometimes from across the dinner table) but it does change. There are times when it is not that loud. Not sure why but changing body position changes the sound and having a full stomach changes it. I thought it would bother me too, but I consciensously decided not to think that way but to look at it this way: the valves are necessary to keep me alive, so each tick is reassuring because it shows my heart is busy doing what it's supposed to do: pumping oxygenated blood to the rest of my body and the alternative is that it stops. And if it stops, I stop too. So think of it as your friend and that it's keeping you going, so that you have the rest of your life to look forward to. Some people don't. We are all unique people and have unique personalities, thoughts and anxieties. So that means we all are not the same and should not feel pressure to conform to some idea of "normal". Nobody's normal. But as a teenager you might feel differently, I know I did. Sure you want to be accepted and not be different because some peolple make fun of "different". Don't let that bother you. You are you and there's nobody else like you, so don't try to be like anyone else. Be you and love yourself as you are. Your parents do; ask them.

I agree.

 

[carolinemc]

Unlike everyone it seems, I’m 17 with a mechanical heart valve, I had it replaced last year and I experienced no symptoms beforehand but whatever.
The tick has ruined my life, I’m now extremely depressed because of it. Idk if I got really unlucky and I got a super loud valve, but this valve is extremely loud. I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

idk what I can do anymore, I never expected this and it has completely ruined my life in every aspect. I don’t even like sitting in cars if the engine is off unless my door is open because the valve is that loud.

You are very young and over time the clicking will not be heard by your ears. No one else can hear it unless they are resting their ear on your chest. It has not ruined your life, for it has expanded your lifespan. Please do not worry about everyone else. Take your exams and graduate. No one can heart the clicking. And for the depression, it is not unusual for some to be depressed over Open Heart Surgery and thinking they are weak from having it done. You may want to see about getting counseling in dealing with the depression. It happens to many people all over the world. Good luck in getting help working the depression out.

 

[pellicle]

No one else can hear it unless they are resting their ear on your chest.

True story:
I was sitting in a room with my friend working on different things and after a while he said "Ahh ... its your valve ... I thought it was a car stereo bass in the distance"

Even my Doctor commented to me when he first met up with me after surgery "wow, they sure put a diesel into you!"

So its possible that younger people have better hearing than older ones.

 

[Chuck C]

Even my Doctor commented to me when he first met up with me after surgery "wow, they sure put a diesel into you!"

So its possible that younger people have better hearing than older ones.

I'm kinda bummed. No one can hear mine unless their head is pressed up against my chest. So, I guess I'll never get to tell a story, like Dodgey Ticker shared, about his Dubai meeting, in which his ticking created a bomb scare. Best valve story of all time!

 

[pellicle]

Best valve story of all time!

Agreed

However with respect to yours not being heard...

 

[Chuck C]

Agreed

However with respect to yours not being heard...

View attachment 888514

Well, fair enough, from your perspective. But, I'm kind of bummed because no one can hear mine and, as if that wasn't bad enough, after 12 months my scar is not visible unless I shave my chest, and then only barely,

That really sucks for me, because I want to be like these guys comparing scars and war wounds. Without a lound clicking and a scar, how will I be able to compete against the likes of these fellows?:

 

[pellicle]

Without a lound clicking and a scar, how will I be able to compete against the likes of these fellows?

the jaws scene is hilarious (I'll have to watch it again now)

Come back when you're on OHS 3, but IMO you don't want this

(and all that's beneath it)

I do hope you're one and done mate, its the best way IMO

 

[George in Denver]

Unlike everyone it seems, I’m 17 with a mechanical heart valve, I had it replaced last year and I experienced no symptoms beforehand but whatever.
The tick has ruined my life, I’m now extremely depressed because of it. Idk if I got really unlucky and I got a super loud valve, but this valve is extremely loud. I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

idk what I can do anymore, I never expected this and it has completely ruined my life in every aspect. I don’t even like sitting in cars if the engine is off unless my door is open because the valve is that loud.

I found that my valve quieted down quite a bit over time. When it was first implanted the surgeon told me that as the chest heals--a gradual process that can take quite a while--the tick would quiet down, and it really did. At the outset I heard it constantly and assumed others did, too, Now I sometimes hear it at night, but only if the room is really quiete (no fan running, no other background noise). Otherwise, I have to consciously focus on it to hear it. It seems that my brain has largely stopped processing the sound. You may have a similar experience. As for your depression, as pointed out by others, this is not uncommon for OHS patients. I've had two valve replacements. After the first I felt just relieved, but after the second I struggled with depression until I got professional help. Do consider reaching out for help. OHS is a major life event--one that is difficult to process alone.

 

[KLS39]

I had my first OHS at 14 to repair the aortic stenosis from my bicuspid valve. Like Superman I went to a small school and also had a time when I was made to sit out of gym class. There was also the day when they announced over the school wide speaker that there was a local blood drive if anyone wanted to donate blood in my name. Very horrifying for a freshman in high school. I was really upset about my scar as well but eventually got comfortable enough to wear a bikini again. . I just had my second surgery last year to replace the aortic valve with a mechanical one. There are still times that I can hear and feel that loud thumping. It's usually when I am sitting in the quiet. It can be bothersome but it's better than the alternative. I hope this forum helps you know that you are not alone. I also hope you find someone to talk to about all your worries and concerns. Take care and be well.

 

[Chuck C]

the jaws scene is hilarious (I'll have to watch it again now)

Come back when you're on OHS 3, but IMO you don't want this

(and all that's beneath it)

I do hope you're one and done mate, its the best way IMO

You would have won that one-upmanship game and beat the shark scars on their legs.

 

[pellicle]

You would have won that one-upmanship game and beat the shark scars on their legs.

Sharks scare the ******* out of me ... sneaky *******s

 

[Douglas Wolf]

Unlike everyone it seems, I’m 17 with a mechanical heart valve, I had it replaced last year and I experienced no symptoms beforehand but whatever.
The tick has ruined my life, I’m now extremely depressed because of it. Idk if I got really unlucky and I got a super loud valve, but this valve is extremely loud. I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

idk what I can do anymore, I never expected this and it has completely ruined my life in every aspect. I don’t even like sitting in cars if the engine is off unless my door is open because the valve is that loud.

So sorry to hear your frustration. I was very frustrated at my first valve sound and it really drove me to a bad level. I don't know if it's helpful, but I'll share something with you that helped me. I met with a monk at the monastery nearby and he encouraged me to change my perspective and when the noise was bothering me, stop a moment, breathe, and really focus in on the sound of it for a little bit, embracing it instead of trying to stop hearing it, remembering that it is there that I might live. I was 33 at the time, so not in your shoes and it may not help, but passing it on because it helped me.

 

[Brinntache]

I don't want to sound flippant, but I say hit the gym. Fill out those chest muscles. Scars can be sexy, especially on a fit person. Plus exercise does wonders for depression. I know this personally.
Even that tick can be sexy. My wife gets very pleased with herself when she makes the tic get faster and louder.
I happily walk around with my shirt off, and my OHS scar isn't even by biggest scar. Confidence and being comfortable in your own skin is everything. Catch someone looking at your scar, give 'em a wink and say "scars are sexy!". It can be conversation starter, especially with attractive persons of your desired gender. Yes, even on women (I don't know your gender). A strong person who clearly went through **** is badass. And once people know what the ticking is they stop noticing. It's always way louder in your own ears that to others because of bone conductivity.

I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

 

[d333gs]

the jaws scene is hilarious (I'll have to watch it again now)

Come back when you're on OHS 3, but IMO you don't want this

(and all that's beneath it)

I do hope you're one and done mate, its the best way IMO

“We have two lives and the second begins when you realize you only have one.”
Confucius (apparently) !!!Love that!

 

[Deepak khanka]

You are very young and over time the clicking will not be heard by your ears. No one else can hear it unless they are resting their ear on your chest. It has not ruined your life, for it has expanded your lifespan. Please do not worry about everyone else. Take your exams and graduate. No one can heart the clicking. And for the depression, it is not unusual for some to be depressed over Open Heart Surgery and thinking they are weak from having it done. You may want to see about getting counseling in dealing with the depression. It happens to many people all over the world. Good luck in getting help working the depression out.

Hello
May I ask which type of valve and what size did they put?

 

[carolinemc]

Hello
May I ask which type of valve and what size did they put?

They never told me the size of the aortic valve but it is a St. Jude's Valve and got it in 2001. Still ticking today.

 

[Deepak khanka]

So sorry to hear your frustration. I was very frustrated at my first valve sound and it really drove me to a bad level. I don't know if it's helpful, but I'll share something with you that helped me. I met with a monk at the monastery nearby and he encouraged me to change my perspective and when the noise was bothering me, stop a moment, breathe, and really focus in on the sound of it for a little bit, embracing it instead of trying to stop hearing it, remembering that it is there that I might live. I was 33 at the time, so not in your shoes and it may not help, but passing it on because it helped me.
[/

Unlike everyone it seems, I’m 17 with a mechanical heart valve, I had it replaced last year and I experienced no symptoms beforehand but whatever.
The tick has ruined my life, I’m now extremely depressed because of it. Idk if I got really unlucky and I got a super loud valve, but this valve is extremely loud. I don’t want to wear T shirts anymore in the summer, in fact now I hate summer and wish it was always winter.
I don’t want to do my exams in the summer in the hall, because I will be emitting such an embarrassing noise I have no control over, and there is no escape from this hell I now find myself in.

idk what I can do anymore, I never expected this and it has completely ruined my life in every aspect. I don’t even like sitting in cars if the engine is off unless my door is open because the valve is that loud.

Hey I know you are very young. As read in the thread some where you need to embrace this and accept this. You are the only one who can change things for yourself. So please don’t be sad . My 1st surgery in 2019 got complicated due to injury to one of the arteries. I survived the surgery but since then have lived each this can be the last day of my life. The native valve prolapsed , LV was full dilated and heart failure. I have 2 young kids and I work full time. Due to covid surgery dates where nearly impossible to get in Uk only if emergency. Long short it’s your attitude that will make changes to things. So please carry on, be progressive that might help you to forget things . All the best

 

[Warrick]

@carolinemc if you still have the card St Jude sends out a few months after your op it will say on there.
My number starts with 27AGN,
27mm is the size and the AGN I believe denotes it is a Regent.
My fathers valve was a 25A-101 St Jude.
I have heard the number is also imprinted on the valve surface itself but this is a bit hard to check haha

 

[pellicle]

I have heard the number is also imprinted on the valve surface itself

I think some medical imaging methods can scan that

 

[TGM]

My son is 19 with a mechanical valve. He’s had one for the past 15 years and it is a conversation starter sometimes. His doesn’t bother him and can only be heard when it’s very quiet. I do hope things improve for you as you get accustomed to this new device. I believe you’ll find that others are more accepting of uniqueness than you might think.