BMW drivers have more sex?

[Raverlaw]

Anna,

My wife won't eat pork or beef. I compromised 17 years ago when I moved in with her: we don't eat that stuff at home, but I can get it in a restaurant. My eating habits got a lot healthier as a result and now I seldom eat either, even when I'm eating out and can do so.

Seafood is my favorite. We're lucky to live on the coast, so fresh fish is always available to us and in restaurants. When we remodeled the home we're in last year, I added a range with an indoor grill so we can prepare chicken and fish that way whenever we want. Love it.

 

[ccrawford]

Farmer Brown's Stud horse and one of his chickens became good friends. One day, the horse got stuck in a quicksand pit. The chicken ran to the farmers house and borrowed a length of rope and the farmer's BMW. Soon he pulled the horse out and they celebrated their victory over calamity. As luck would have it, a few days later, the chicken became bogged down in the quicksand. The stud horse straddled the quicksand pit. The chicken grabbed hold of the horses manliness and the chicken was rescued. Moral of the story. If you are a stud, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

 

[Karlynn]

Chris, that was EXCELLENT!

Don't know if I can give the punch line to this joke.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

---Ross, censor this if needed---

There ya go!

With a porcupine, the prick is on the outside.

(This was my husband's favorite joke when he had a boss he hated who constantly bragged about his new BMW. )

 

[ccrawford]

Thanks Karlynn - Say, do you think a John Deere is as sexy as a BMW ? Sure goes thru the field better.

 

[Karlynn]

I'd tell you, but my uncle sold International Harvester for years and he'd get upset with me if I said "yes", much less use the J..D.. name.