Apology

[gadgetman]

Rule 1: Don't allow no smoking in my house .

Rule 2: If you do, you gotta put it out .

Rule 3: If you don't put it out, you're both going O U T .

May God Bless and Give Me a Good Right Hook,

Danny

 

[Mary]

Wouldn?t it be interesting to know if it isn?t the same darn people complaining to Ross every time they (get their panties in a bind).... as someone said. lol

What I think would be interesting would be Ross telling who He complains about!

 

[Debrinha GT]

This is what I understood...

This is what I understood...

I think what Ross was trying to point out here is that we can write about things in general AS WELL AS valve replacement, providing it doesn't involve topics which might lead to arguments, to say the least. Again, since English isn't my native language, there's a chance I might have misunderstood his statetment. Anyway, I just love getting to know people better and that's why I think the SMALL TALK part fo the forum is very interesting. Also, there's a connection between some non heart-related topics and valve replacement if you come to think of it. When we're facing a problem for instance, it can affect our health and as a result, the heart. Many of us have nobody to talk to and here we can really be ourselves and vent. I myself have done it on many occasions. Of course, we do have to bear in mind that this site IS mainly about THE HEART and make sure we help one another, but there's nothing wrong with sharing other aspects of our lives with such dear friends. Take care and stay in touch!
Débora

 

[Wise]

God bless you Debora. You put it so well.

 

[Barry]

I think what Ross was trying to point out here is that we can write about things in general AS WELL AS valve replacement, providing it doesn't involve topics which might lead to arguments, to say the least...

Took me a while to break the code, Debora, but, yep - you're right. It isn't that we can't post stuff that's off the topic of valve replacement - it's that we can't post stuff that's likely to start arguments. And, being new kid on the block, I hadn't realized that apparantly controversial subjects are likely to generate arguments and not civil discussion here.

That's still no excuse for my having offended folks, though - I should have waited 'til I was more familiar with how folks respond to topics before bringing up contentious ones. In fact, even before then, when a number of folks thought I must be a troll because I had no profile (somehow had been able to register without being asked to complete a profile, without even knowing that there was such a thing as a profile), I should have taken that as a sign that there are folks around here who are a bit given to presumptions of hostile intent and who will respond accordingly. My guess is that there's a history there, and that these forums have had problems with real trolls in the past.

 

[Debrinha GT]

So many people!!

So many people!!

Hi Wise Smith and Barry. You see, let's suppose you invite a few friends up to your house and all of a sudden, one of them starts a big debate on some controversial subject. The chances there are that at least a couple of them will end up geting a bit personal about it and when you realize it, the situation might be out of control. Here things can be a bit trickier because there are well over 1000 members who don't necessarily have much in common except for a heart condition. To me it's as simple as that, if I don't want to discuss a topic, I don't give my opinion and when I do, I do it in a more generelized way, if you get what I mean. Then if someone really takes me up on it, I just say that it' s just my personal opinion based on my beliefs and I don't expect others to agree with me. Although we all have one purpose in common here, many of us, like me, are from a different culture and that does play a big part in how we see things. I might be able to speak and write in English, but I will never be an American. I've seen that even in the same country people's opinions diverge and that's what makes us humans. I've had women telling me I should've had more children and all that stuff, and my answer has always been the same. What difference does it make to your life whether I have one or more kids, and then leave it at that. I've grown to like a lot of VR members and it's funny how we can take to a person without having ever met him or her. I think you, Barry, shouldn't worry about it anymore, and remember, it will soon have been forgotten by everybody else. If you're a bit concerned about your reputation on the site, just write about a couple of nice things and put that big debacco behind you. Tale care and remain in touch.
Débora

 

[Abbanabba]

....if I don't want to discuss a topic, I don't give my opinion and when I do, I do it in a more generelized way, if you get what I mean. Then if someone really takes me up on it, I just say that it' s just my personal opinion based on my beliefs and I don't expect others to agree with me.

(...clapping of hands...)

Very well said Debora!!



Barry,

Seems you've managed to go from "no" profile to "high" profile in one easy step! Congratulations!



Cheers
Anna : )

 

[Glenda]

Ditto for me too Deborah. It's like television, if you don't like something that's on, turn it off! ! You said it very well.

 

[Guest]

You see, let's suppose you invite a few friends up to your house and all of a sudden, one of them starts a big debate on some controversial subject. The chances there are that at least a couple of them will end up geting a bit personal about it and when you realize it, the situation might be out of control.

Sadly, this is all too true. And, it's these type of times that leave you scratching your head wondering something like, "how the helk did that happen"?! ... _especially_ when you feel that people take it TOO personally....

Grrr...that's not fun at all .

*shrugs*

But, it's part of life. And, I think that life would be so much more duller if people agreed on everything.

And, I'm tired of people chastising other people ... and forcing others to apologize, while companies get away with far worse things....

*rolls eyes*

Best not get me started .


Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 31swm/pig valve/pacemaker
'72,6,9/'81,7.hobbies.chdQB = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
MC Guide = http://www.chevyasylum.com/mcspotter/main.html
MC's future = http://www.projectmonte.com/petition/
"Most Complete Lineup," Chevy claims in ad ... but how?
What's it like to buy your favorite car brand new? Wish I knew...

 

[Hank]

Wow - I am gone for a couple of days and it's another doosie!

Wow - I am gone for a couple of days and it's another doosie!

I for one have never been offended by any post on this or any other forum.

Words on the screen of a computer are not the kind of thing that I think would be worth getting worked up about.

=========================================================
BUT LET ME CLARIFY THE POSITION OF VALVEREPLACEMENT.COM

The goal of this site is for people who are in search of support to be able to search the internet and find this community.

When they find this resource, they will find the Forum.

When they find the forum, they will see the list of forums within the forum.

When they click one of the sub-forums (SmallTalk for instance), they will see all of the different threads there.

I do not want their first impression to be a list of threads on Drugs, Abortion, Assisted Suicide, Firearms, Price of rice in China, Mating habits of Spider Monkeys etc.....

I want them to be overwhelmed with information on Valve Replacement Surgery.
=======================================================

I understand that we should all have the freedom to talk about whatever we want. And for the most part I have made a HUGE point to respect this way of thinking.

But it is my responsibility to keep ValveReplacement.com focused on it's mission, and if I have to occasionally ask folks to tone it down, then I guess thats what I gotta do.

So, thank you all for the healthy topic of discussion and lets see what y'all have to say about this comment

 

[hensylee]

pretty clear to me.

 

[Ross]

I do not want their first impression to be a list of threads on Mating habits of Spider Monkeys etc.....

*fidgits with hands in pockets while looking at feet and kicking at dust ball on floor*

 

[Barry]

...The goal of this site is for people who are in search of support to be able to search the internet and find this community.

When they find this resource, they will find the Forum.

When they find the forum, they will see the list of forums within the forum.

When they click one of the sub-forums (SmallTalk for instance), they will see all of the different threads there.

I do not want their first impression to be a list of threads on Drugs, Abortion, Assisted Suicide, Firearms, Price of rice in China, Mating habits of Spider Monkeys etc.....

I want them to be overwhelmed with information on Valve Replacement Surgery...

Just when I thought I was understanding the rules, as so simply stated by Deborah - don't post things that may get folks angry - I'm again confused.

Information on the topic of valve replacement surgery goes in the other forums.

But folks visiting this site somehow are to be overwhelmed with information on valve replacement surgery when checking out the small talk forum.

Clearly best thing for me to do is just stay within the other forums, the ones specific to valve-replacement issues. Too bad - I had some fascinating stuff about the mating habits of spider monkeys that I wanted to share with folks.

 

[tobagotwo]

Were those the blue-bottomed spider monkeys or the red-bottomed spider monkeys?

I missed that day in Biology, and I was hoping Hank would let you digress just this once...

Best wishes,

 

[Mary]

Barry,
I think Hank meant that threads dealing strictly with the mating habits of spider monkeys weren't encouraged. If you want to post about how the mating habits of spider monkeys affects their INR (in spider monkeys with mechanical valves, let's say) that's perfectly fine.

That post wouldn't really fit in the coumadin forum, so it would need to be in small talk. Until we get a forum titled, Apes (?)

 

[Debrinha GT]

Is it ok to...

Is it ok to...

So far, most threads, if not all, that I've ever started on "small talk" have been about my life or something I consider to be important to me. Your sympathy and good advice have made a big difference to me and, on various occasions, have helped me decide what I should or shouldn't do in a specific situation. They might not have been heart-related as such, but they sure have helped me with my heat issues too seeing that I AM an anxious person by nature, and without the help of the wonderful firends I've made here along the past year I've been a member of this site, there's no doubt I'd have found it much harder to overcome my personal problems. Knowing that I can rely on you for comfort even when you might not have the answers to my problems, has been of great help and your friendship priceless. Although most of us will probably never meet each other in person, we're all real people who have feelings, emotions and definitely a great need of being heard and helped through our ordeals in life regardless of the nature of the problems. I understand that if not used wisely, the small talk can have the opposite effect on people, but most of all, it's a blessing, being able to have access to it all the same. There have been some problems regarding some controversial topics, but I don't believe for a single moments that any of the VR members here would have deliberately started a thread hoping it would become a riot. I sincerely hope that Hank doesn't do away with the SMALL TALK which has been for many of us, the only oportunity to vent about non heart-related topics. Thanks for reading, and God bless all of you.

Débora

 

[Blanche]

Debora's post rang true for me. Most of the topics in this forum have hit a special or personal cord for me. This is a support board, not a general discussion board. There are places set up for discussion for the sake of discussion. I know that many of those places are not the most user-friendly, in part because they do not have a clear statement of purpose and they are poorley monitored. Here, we take care of one another. There are probably some people here who wouldn't pee on me if I was on fire. Yet, we share a common bond and those same people would go to any lengths to help me with any topic that was vital to me, including the mating practices of transgendered spider monkeys. It really does, for me, boil down to a matter of purpose.

Kind regards,
Blanche

 

[Karlynn]

Love ya Hank!

Now I'm certainly not the boss here, but I've viewed anything related to my valve and general health as something larger than Small Talk. I've never posted a valve concern, health concern or INR concern in Small Talk. I may have been wrong, but I've always viewed small talk as the kind of area where you get the same type of talk that you would with family at the dinner table - a personal concern, a request for prayers, a funny story, a joke, light-hearted poking fun of ones own health issues, occasionally a discussion on current topics (although I know that most likely the same rules that apply to dinner parties should probably apply to Small Talk - those being that politics and religion are a bit dangerous).

Barry, you may be a bit of an "instigator" , but I also sense that you've meant well, and appreciate VR for the comraderie that only people who've "been there, done that" can have. Personally, I'm flattered that you care what I think. Deborah, I feel like we could meet in person and have a discussion like we'd just seen each other the week before. I agree that being able to get things off our chest is helpful for us even though it might not relate to our valve disease, it certainly can affect our stress level, which then affects our health.

Just a thought here, (because I don't remember the exact small print explanation beneath Small Talk), could it be tweaked so that new members understand it to be the "family dinner table" of VR? Or maybe an advisory for the faint-hearted not to enter. okay, just joking on that.

It may sound a bit looney, but I consider many here my very good friends. Not because we've met face to face, or walked the same life path, or share the same political, religious or social views, but because we share a common bond, one that has meant life or death to each of us. Because of that, I love learning and knowing the little things. Most recently being able to rejoice with Granbonnie at the arrival of her beautiful new grandchildren.

I think our next step (since I just watched the movie "Old School") is to find a house for our "fraternity". Granbonnie or Hensely (or both) will definately be the Social Chairwomen (With Pappahappystar, Burair, in training!). Hank, of course, the President, and Ross will be the Rush Chairman.

Just my $.02

...well, here's another few cents. I think of Small Talk as being similar to the Annual Reunions. Someone last year was a bit upset (and posted so) that the Reunion wasn't a weekend comprised of meetings and speeches related to valve issues, but more social in nature, with a few valve things thrown in. I will certainly abide by our creator's wishes, but Small Talk has been more of a reunion type forum for me.

 

[Mary]

Love ya Hank!
Just a thought here, (because I don't remember the exact small print explanation beneath Small Talk), could it be tweaked so that new members understand it to be the "family dinner table" of VR?

Karlynn,
I took a peek at the small print explanation, because I couldn't remember what it said either. Here's what it says:

Small Talk
Here is where you can discuss topics not covered by the other forums. Please be mindful of the fact that we are a medical support site for Valve Replacement Surgery.

I don't know if this helps or not; just thought I would post it.

 

[PapaHappyStar]

I think our next step (since I just watched the movie "Old School") is to find a house for our "fraternity". Granbonnie or Hensely (or both) will definately be the Social Chairwomen (With Pappahappystar, Burair, in training!). Hank, of course, the President, and Ross will be the Rush Chairman.

Karlynn,

Although it is a great honor to be the next-in-line Social Chairwoman -- I am a bit anxious about the dress code ( if there is one ) -- that needs to undergo a drastic change...

Thanks -- the first time I have ever been nominated for a social position of any distinction -- bursting with pride

Burair