What would you say?

[Guest]

A scheduled interview Wednesday morning allowed me to catch the last half hour of one of my favorite morning shows in Chicagoland ... Eric'n'Kathy on WTMX (101.9 FM). During that segment, they discussed the Top 5 Things Not To Say To A Single Person, which they found at this website:
http://www.angelahiresahusband.com/

I found myself nodding and laughing right along with them at "how true" they are....


1) ?You just haven?t met the right one.?


2) ?It will happen when you?re not looking.?
[What will happen when I?m not looking? I?ll fall over a chair? ... We?re NEVER not looking. It may only be window shopping, but believe me: Everybody?s always looking!]


3) ?Aren?t you afraid to be alone when you?re old??
[Getting married is no guarantee that you?re not going to be alone.]


4) ?You?re attractive. Why aren?t you married??


5) ?But, don?t you want children??
[Only if they grow up with manners better than yours.]


Hmmm...and, according to the discussion on the show, the best thing about being single is being able to do what you want when you want; meanwhile, the worst thing is sleeping alone.

*shrugs*

Grass is always greener on the other side... .

So, ya'll agree with the list? Would you add anything to the list?

And...those that are married ... any top 5 things you'd tell others to NOT say to married people? Somehow, I think the "Don't you want children?" question could go both ways....


Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 31swm/pig valve/pacemaker
'72,6,9/'81,7.hobbies.chdQB = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
MC Guide = http://www.chevyasylum.com/mcspotter/main.html
"I ain't wastin' no more time" ... Whitesnake ... 'Here I Go Again On My Own'

 

[Harrybaby666]

Weelllllllllll There Cort.....LOL

Weelllllllllll There Cort.....LOL

A scheduled interview Wednesday morning allowed me to catch the last half hour of one of my favorite morning shows in Chicagoland ... Eric'n'Kathy on WTMX (101.9 FM). During that segment, they discussed the Top 5 Things Not To Say To A Single Person, which they found at this website:
http://www.angelahiresahusband.com/

I found myself nodding and laughing right along with them at "how true" they are....


1) ?You just haven?t met the right one.?


2) ?It will happen when you?re not looking.?
[What will happen when I?m not looking? I?ll fall over a chair? ... We?re NEVER not looking. It may only be window shopping, but believe me: Everybody?s always looking!]


3) ?Aren?t you afraid to be alone when you?re old??
[Getting married is no guarantee that you?re not going to be alone.]


4) ?You?re attractive. Why aren?t you married??


5) ?But, don?t you want children??
[Only if they grow up with manners better than yours.]


Hmmm...and, according to the discussion on the show, the best thing about being single is being able to do what you want when you want; meanwhile, the worst thing is sleeping alone.

*shrugs*

Grass is always greener on the other side... .

So, ya'll agree with the list? Would you add anything to the list?

And...those that are married ... any top 5 things you'd tell others to NOT say to married people? Somehow, I think the "Don't you want children?" question could go both ways....


Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 31swm/pig valve/pacemaker
'72,6,9/'81,7.hobbies.chdQB = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
MC Guide = http://www.chevyasylum.com/mcspotter/main.html
"I ain't wastin' no more time" ... Whitesnake ... 'Here I Go Again On My Own'

As one who is still single at 38, I would have to say...yes, there are some things that you DON'T say to a single person....I agree with you completely Cort. Harrybaby666

 

[Guest]

As one who is still single at 38, I would have to say...yes, there are some things that you DON'T say to a single person....

*nods*

Yep ... and another one someone else mentioned to me earlier tonight is along the lines of "wait for the right one"....

Bah.

 

[Harpoon]

Don't tell my wife I said this but, how about "Yer better off!"





There are days when that thought crosses my mind.... I guess that's the hazard of being married.


I never felt like anyone would give me the time of day, let alone want to spend time with me in some kind of a relationship.

Every girl I knew was either seeing someone else (sometimes of the same sex,) married, recently seperated and not really interested, or just flat out hated men. I never really met anyone that was interested in me beyond mere friendship until my first girlfriend and she was flippin' psycho... I found that out later on... Whoops!

Second girl became my wife, but we had a few strong "triggers" that cemented our relationship, mainly 9/11 and the aftermath then her struggle to keep her son then my struggle to keep my life...


There is no firm advice to go on really. It happens, sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes you can be too forceful even without trying, sometimes the signals are missed.

Hate to say it but, patience and being open to just being friends seems to be the best route for most folks...

 

[Guest]

Every girl I knew was either seeing someone else (sometimes of the same sex,) married, recently seperated and not really interested, or just flat out hated men. I never really met anyone that was interested in me beyond mere friendship until my first girlfriend and she was flippin' psycho... I found that out later on... Whoops!

Yikes....this is too eery as it just about describes my experiences, too....

*shakes head*

Second girl became my wife

Woot! Hope for me, yet . He he he

Hate to say it but, patience and being open to just being friends seems to be the best route for most folks...

I think I need to add that to the list...even though, from my observations, it is true...lol.

Another comment someone else mentioned to me, too, is do not elude to having someone means you have a life ... being single is a life, too ... just different .

 

[Ross]

Cort when I see ya, remind me to give you thee ye old caveman club! It makes finding, selecting, and catching so much easier.

 

[epstns]

Cort and Harpoon - That psycho thing sounds *too* familiar. I dated a young lady who could politely be described as a "psycho" for several years before meeting the next lady, the one who became my wife. My wife had the opportunity to meet the previous lady (who was living with a good friend of mine -- go figure) and has some really graphic things to say about her. She uses the memory to keep me in line. . . <g>.

 

[Sherry]

Yea, I would definitely agree to watch out for the psychos. I dated a few of those years ago and in looking back, I'm so glad I married the laid back one. (You met him in Chicago and would probably agree with that assessment.) He does his own thing and doesn't dictate to me what to do. We just mesh together really well, and it's because of that laid back demeanor, plus living through two medical nightmares within two years of each other (his being much worse than mine), that I see it for what it is.

I guess my advice to you is to not look for a clingy/overly dependent one, unless that's what you want. It seems that it's always flattering at first but that it becomes terribly annoying after awhile. Also, stay away from anyone who doesn't like your family. That's a must. Take care, Cort, and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that your job search is fruitful.

 

[Marguerite53]

Cort. I like Harpoon's reply. Definitely something that cements the relationship is good. Friendship is very important, at least for me. My knight in shining armour (he was, but very unexpectedly actually!) is my best friend and I couldn't be in this relationship for keeps if it wasn't that way.

Sure, chemistry is important. It's what makes you sit down and really look into someone's eyes. Gets you going. But, you have to laugh at the same jokes most of the time, sing the same tunes, and I think, most importantly, have the same values in life.

I think all of those remarks are rude. I will say, though, that sometimes, when you least expect it, things do happen! I wonder how many missed opportunities we all experience in life by not having our antennae out.

Had to chime in since there are NO women here yet.......Girls???

Marguerite

 

[Sherry]

Had to chime in since there are NO women here yet.......Girls??? Marguerite

We must have been posting at the same time, Marguerite.

 

[Marguerite53]

yes

yes

Yes, Sherry, it appears that we were! I liked your assessment, also! I suspect luck and timing are important factors, too. But I wouldn't want to say to a single person.....oh, you'll get lucky one day!! It might make it to a list somewhere......

Marguerite

 

[geebee]

I was a very shy and insecure person in my teens (yeh, yeh, I know I've changed). I married the first guy who asked me (much to my parent's chagrin), a man who had been married twice already. I just thought no one else would want me. He was an emotionally abusive husband and I was kinda stuck because I got sick and was "trapped" by the OHS/insurance thing.

After 17 years, I finally grew "you know whats" and left. I then met the nicest, calmest, most attentive person I have ever known. I was not looking for Chris when we met, in fact I almost decided I couldn't handle another relationship so soon. However, he was quietly persistent. Fast forward to now, almost 18 years later, and I am still happy as the "pig in ----".

I am a firm believer that you must not settle and the right one will come when you least expect it or are not even looking.

Of course, Cort, we are all always looking for someone for you. You just never know.

 

[Blanche]

I must be a bit daft today, but I must ask, Why say anything to a single person about not being married, and the reverse for married folks? And, to add to that list, why ask a married person when they are going to have children. Seems dang rude to me. The expectation that we go through the world in twos (one of each gender, of course) followed by our 2.3 chldren seems daft to me too.

I do remember a co-worker who was actively looking for a marriage partner. On the bulletin board over her desk, a message read something like, "When I was 21, I was looking for someone pefect. Now that I'm 43, I'd just like someone who is nearly normal." I don't know if she ever found a mate, but I'll be danged if I'm going to ask.

Regards,
Blanche

 

[geebee]

Actually, Blanche, you are right. I think the spirit of this thread is what NOT to say to a single person. Maybe we should come up with some good retorts for the singles who are confronted with stupid comments.

About the stupid children comments, when I was in my twenties, I always heard, "you have plenty of time for children". In my thirties I heard, "don't worry, you still have time". In my forties I heard, "this is your last chance to have children". Now, in my fifties, I just get "sorry for you" looks from people.

No one ever asked me if I WANTED children - which I did not. Love my nieces & nephews but I am too selfish and impatient to have children of my own. Good that the "heart patient-no pregnancies" thing wasn't wasted on me.

 

[Guest]

*grins*

Man oh man ... I needed the laughs that the responses since I last posted in here brought me tonight. Thank you .

To quote a few of you.....

Cort when I see ya, remind me to give you thee ye old caveman club! It makes finding, selecting, and catching so much easier.

*raises eyebrow as lightbulb goes on*

OH! So, THAT is how it is accomplished, eh? Would bats used in the game of softball work just as well? My dad has plenty of those, considering he manages a city softball team .

My wife had the opportunity to meet the previous lady (who was living with a good friend of mine -- go figure) and has some really graphic things to say about her. She uses the memory to keep me in line. . . <g>.

LOL! I bet that is a priceless memory, too .

stay away from anyone who doesn't like your family. That's a must.

He he he ... in my case, in more ways than one .

Take care, Cort, and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that your job search is fruitful.

Thank you ... definitely appreciate that! So far, so not fruitful tho .

I wonder how many missed opportunities we all experience in life by not having our antennae out.

Thoroughly enjoyed what you wrote, but this quote really captured my attention. This, my dear, is so very true. I think it goes back to "smell the roses along the way" ... otherwise, you may miss something small, yet important. I know I've missed a few opportunities, some of which I've learned from ... and others I seem to keep repeating, though not intentionally...lol.

But I wouldn't want to say to a single person.....oh, you'll get lucky one day!! It might make it to a list somewhere......

He he he...it just did. And, holy crap ... I've been told that before and I've just stared at 'em. OK, more like glared, but gee whiz...lol.

Of course, Cort, we are all always looking for someone for you. You just never know.

*raises eyebrow cautiously expectantly*

Sweet ... very sweet .

And, I whole-heartedly agree about not settling. I think this is part of the reason why my ex's dumping of me (now over 2 years ago...ya'll remember that? lol) is not so freshly nasty in my mind. I realize now that it was for the best ... still stings a bit (for some personal reasons), but hey ... her loss .

It'll happen when you least expect it so stop looking so hard!

*glares*

Yes ... and, the funny thing about this one, at least for me, is that whenever I "look" at someone ... and I'm caught, they generally say this right away. It's like ... well, do you expect me to NOT look at a gorgeous gal?

*shakes head*


He he he...Blanche, it might be fun to ask if she found someone ... who knows ... she might launch into a litany list of the "losers" she has dated since she put that sign out ... lol .

Actually, Blanche, you are right. I think the spirit of this thread is what NOT to say to a single person. Maybe we should come up with some good retorts for the singles who are confronted with stupid comments.

EXACTLY!

 

[Rain]

"Fruits & Vegetables"

"Fruits & Vegetables"

Cort said "And...those that are married ... any top 5 things you'd tell others to NOT say to married people? Somehow, I think the "Don't you want children?" question could go both ways...."


?When?s the baby due?? ? Better be sure she?s pregnant!! LOL Ouch!

?My, you look ten years younger than the last time we met? ? Be sure it?s the same wife!! LOL

Cort, sweetie... . ?Enjoy the moment?. Don?t worry about getting married. Spend your free time doing the things you love to do. If she?s out there... you?ll connect at some point. If she isn?t then you don?t want her anyway! You have to find a girl who enjoys the same lifestyle you do and the best way to do that is ... do just that.

Play the field, have a good time!! It?s a whole different ball game once you get married. Not that it?s bad... but certainly different.

Okay... off my ?soap box?. Can you tell I have 22 year old unmarried son? I hope he stays that way for a long while! It?s not a bad thing to marry a little later in life, Cort. What I would give to be a 22 year old, gorgeous, college graduate with a wonderful, well paying job!! You boys have the world by the tail.

Of course Ry will tell you the only reason he needs a wife is to cover for his resistence to doing laundry and house cleaning. lol I?m not to worried... with the standards he has set for this girl, who will one day be his wife... She?s some kind of miracle. You and Ry both deserve just such a girl, so just enjoy your life and she'll come to you.

Oops... did I get back on ?the box??! You know I love ya, Cort. I just want what's best for you and in my humble opinion... (Yeah, I can be humble! ) 'enjoy the moment' is the best advice. Pooey on all those people who think they know what it takes to make other people happy. Most of them -married or not- are probably not as happy in thier lives as you are.

Okay, okay, I'll stop. lol

 

[Guest]

Cort, sweetie... . ?Enjoy the moment?. Don?t worry about getting married. Spend your free time doing the things you love to do. If she?s out there... you?ll connect at some point. If she isn?t then you don?t want her anyway! You have to find a girl who enjoys the same lifestyle you do and the best way to do that is ... do just that.

Play the field, have a good time!! It?s a whole different ball game once you get married.
...
You and Ry both deserve just such a girl, so just enjoy your life and she'll come to you.

Oops... did I get back on ?the box??! You know I love ya, Cort. I just want what's best for you and in my humble opinion... (Yeah, I can be humble! ) 'enjoy the moment' is the best advice. Pooey on all those people who think they know what it takes to make other people happy. Most of them -married or not- are probably not as happy in thier lives as you are.

*grins*

Yeah, I've come to realize that sometimes people who think they know what'll make others happy are not so happy themselves .

Thank you, dearest Rain, for your kind words. I'm definitely enjoying the moment ... and not worried at all about getting married. I think I'm more "concerned" (not the right word, tho) about being alone ... with no prospects at all (which means I can't exactly "play the field"...lol . Ah, well...it'll happen if it's meant to be ... I just hope it is meant to be . he he he

*sighs*

And, btw, I love the examples you gave, too ... he he heh.

 

[Jennie]

Last night someone gave me that "when you least expect it" line. If I had a dime for every time I heard that....! "Fall over a chair", I'll have to remember that one!

Then she told me (again) the story of her daughter who, at the "old" age of 25, had "given up, thinking she'll never get married"????? Please. VERY unhelpful to hear these stories of people who have waited oh so long, what, three years???!! Come talk to me when you're approaching forty....

-J

 

[Guest]

Last night someone gave me that "when you least expect it" line. If I had a dime for every time I heard that....! "Fall over a chair", I'll have to remember that one!

He he he...you should. And, as for that dime ... holy crapola would I be RRRRIIICCCHHH .

Then she told me (again) the story of her daughter who, at the "old" age of 25, had "given up, thinking she'll never get married"????? Please. VERY unhelpful to hear these stories of people who have waited oh so long, what, three years???!! Come talk to me when you're approaching forty....

AMEN! I understand exactly what you mean ... I know people are trying to help with those stories ... but, after awhile, they just get boring and downright desturbing because then you begin to wonder, "well, what the helk is wrong with me, then?"

 

[Barry]

I'm 56 and single, although I have two failed marriages and two good divorces behind me. When folks ask me why I'm single, I tell them - truthfully - that I tried marriage twice, each time to a wonderful woman, and it didn't work out either time. And I then I noticed that the common denominator was the husband.