i just checked my calendar, and somehow i'm only about three weeks away
from major surgery. i've only had dental surgery and tonsils removed in the
past, haven't spent a night in hospital since i was eight.
running out of time, too much to prepare. passport with visa should be
ems'd early next week, bought tickets (except for the final return leg),
still need train tix. will go to the medical school next week to arrange
for daily help. fortunately, my recovery period is during spring break,
so plenty of nursing students needing a part time job. gotta find someone
with a freezer to store my precious cheese.
too busy to be scared, in fact i'm looking forward to getting this over and
done with, being able to start marathon training again. strangely, no
fear of dying on the table, or complications afterwards.
what am i afraid of?
1. that after all this worry, they'll run some tests and tell me i don't need
surgery after all, that i can treat my condition with medications, which will
just put me in a holding pattern until it eventually worsens enough.
2. waking up with a ventilator tube in my throat. i have a highly-refined
gag reflex. must remember to warn the nurses about this.
3. my greatest fear.......bedpans.
from major surgery. i've only had dental surgery and tonsils removed in the
past, haven't spent a night in hospital since i was eight.
running out of time, too much to prepare. passport with visa should be
ems'd early next week, bought tickets (except for the final return leg),
still need train tix. will go to the medical school next week to arrange
for daily help. fortunately, my recovery period is during spring break,
so plenty of nursing students needing a part time job. gotta find someone
with a freezer to store my precious cheese.
too busy to be scared, in fact i'm looking forward to getting this over and
done with, being able to start marathon training again. strangely, no
fear of dying on the table, or complications afterwards.
what am i afraid of?
1. that after all this worry, they'll run some tests and tell me i don't need
surgery after all, that i can treat my condition with medications, which will
just put me in a holding pattern until it eventually worsens enough.
2. waking up with a ventilator tube in my throat. i have a highly-refined
gag reflex. must remember to warn the nurses about this.
3. my greatest fear.......bedpans.