Well, It is done.

[KathyNRobbie]

My mom, Yaps, has entered a Nursing Home facility. She refused to get out of bed, tossed her pillows all over the place, and would eat every other day saying she was "fat". So I finally got up the last bit of nerve and put her in. She needs the therapy, the nurses on hand 24-7. I feel guilty. She calls wanting me to come everyday. But I cant. I have so many appmts to keep that I always put off becuase I would be away from home and mom too long to do them. So Ive been running Dentists apmts wih the kids this whole week, facing the chance that Robbie may be working in Wisconsin for a long amount of time in Spetember. just playing catch up on my life. Mom is getting mad, but she will get over it I hope. I have to take care of 6 other people too...sigh. sorry just venting a bit. Im frustrated and feeling guilty. Like I locked my mom away...<3 you all.

Kathy

 

[Ross]

It's sad, but you have to do what you have to do.

 

[Wise]

You will work through the guilt thing in time, I'm sure, but it sounds like you did the right thing for your mom and your family. There is only so much that you can do on your own. Prayers being offered for Yap's acceptance that this is what she needs and for your ability to juggle all of your responsibilities and remain sane. Of course, you have nothing to be guilty over, but we'd all go through the same thing. You are a wonderful daughter and have been there for Yaps through so much.

 

[DebbyA]

It's a hard situation that many of us will face. I also hope Yaps reaches acceptance. She is so lucky to have someone looking after her. Take some deep breaths and breathe out the guilt. Keep us posted, too.

 

[Greg a]

It is tough but I think you are on the right road

:angel:God Bless

 

[Penny]

Kathy, there always comes a time in our lives where we have to make difficult decisions which affect ones we love. I feel for you for it is natural that someone in your position would be feeling guilty. Please try to remember, you made a choice, one that it in the best interest of your mom. It is a choice many people face and struggle with just as you are.. but please remember, it is not your guilt to carry. From what you said, she needs the care, one of which you can no longer provide. It was a wise choice you made and I hope you can find some peace of mind with this. take care

 

[escargome]

Please know that you made one of the hardest but best decisions for both your mom and yourself. I will pray that with time your mom will come to accept that this is the best thing for her. Do not feel guilty. All of this is so hard on the heart. I had to look at those options for my mom also, but in the end, I didn't have to follow through since her little heart just gave out while she was in the hospital. I will keep you in my prayers....

 

[Jkm7]

Kathy,
You're a wonderful daughter and have and will continue to do the best for your Mom. I also have a close family member in a nursing home and fully understand all you are feeling. We do the best we can and have to consider all others in our life and our other responsibilities.

You haven't deserted her and will see to it she receives good care and keep your eye out for her needs.
Now get a bit of rest. Surely you are exhausted.
Sending big cyber hugs.......

 

[mecretired]

Kathy: I had to make a similar decision. I prayed, cried, prayed and cried some more before I made the decision to put my mother in the nursing home. It was by far the best thing for her and she became quite content there. So, please, know that you did the best thing possible for both of you and shed the guilt. I pray that, in time, she will accept the nursing home and become content there. It actually might help if you don't visit too often at first. This may give her time to get to know other residents and join in activities they have. Mary

 

[Nancy]

Of course, you did the right thing. You have family responsibilities, and your children and husband really have to come first, because they need you. Your mom is going to have good care and the help that she needs. Stay strong, do what you need to do to get your other responsibilities caught up.

 

[sweetbanker]

Vent it does the body good. Don't beat yourself up. Your Mom will be ok , keep loving her and it's best for her.
Hang in .

 

[KathyNRobbie]

Thanks for the suggestions. It has been weird the last few days. I swear I hear her calling me from her room here. It eirie. I put a phone in her room, if any of you would like to talk to her, her number is (PM Kathy for phone #, it's not safe to post it in the forums. Removed by Ross) She would like to know that you guys still think of her. Me, Im dealing. I have not gone back into her room since she left, tho I need to get thing and clean it from top to bottom and have the Med dude come get the bed....I just have not be able to do so. Been so busy with the kids too. my youngest son decided he wanted to join the marching band, so now I gotta pay all those fees too, (my youngest daughter is in the marching band too, she is a JR and section leader of the Tubas) and he is going to play a tuba just like Tessa. but he has a lot to learn fast, he is in the 7th grade and is just this week learning to read music. My oldest starts college Monday. It was not the school she wanted, but she is going to get the basics out of the way, and then go to Paul Mitchell's school in North Carolina, or Virginia ( I cant remember) after her and her BF get married next year. He is a Marine and is stationed in Jacksonville North Carolina. Phillip is doing great with football but the with the band practices and football practices and trying to get last minute drs apmts in, I forgot to register the kids for school, so I do that today....I think I got my head screwed on now....maybe.. I hope all is well with everyone here, and my prayers and love go to you all, thanks for being great friends to my family. <3

Kathy and Yaps and the crew

 

[sue943]

You did the right thing Kathy, don't beat yourself up.

 

[blessed1416]

Kathy, I can feel your pain. Having to put both my parents in nursing homes was probably the worst, heart-breaking decision I ever made. At the time, I was working and had two small children at home, so the guilt was tremendous. I see that you are from Magnolia Springs. We have a house in Gulf Shores, so we come over your way to Fairhope often. Magnolia Springs is a quaint little town. We've eaten there once, I think...Jesse's? Hang in there, hopefully things will get better soon!

 

[Maryka]

My brother has lived in a nursing home for decades (he has progressive paralysis--nothing to do with heart things). We all have been sad about this for all these years, but lately I find myself a bit envious. He watches TV as much as he wants, gets a clean bed every day with no effort on his part, and gets 3 square meals and numerous snacks. I am not being sarcastic. He actually seems to enjoy life these days.

On the other hand, my Marfan friend Carol is on the verge of getting herself sent off to the nursing home (for the second time in two years). She will be furious when it happens, but it seems preferable to having her die at home alone because she can no longer take care of herself adequately. You will probably hear her screaming, wherever you are!

 

[hensylee]

oh, Kathy, I am sorry for what you and Yaps are going through. It is really hard when a parent must be admitted into a nursing home. Sounds, tho, like that is where she needs to be because she cannot take care of herself now. She (and all of you) have been through such an awful time these past years and need relief. My dad was in a nursing home and he wanted so badly to come home, but he couldn't be taken care of at home - he needed constant care and his mind had gone haywire. Do NOT feel guilty. Just thank God there is somewhere for Yaps to be that you know she will be cared for, but check in on her. If possible, drop in at the nursing when nobody expects you and you will be able to tell if she is getting sufficient care. That will also keep them on their toes. My brother was in assisted living care when we were in the same town, but I couldn't do it anymore so sister took him to Tx where he was in a nursing home and she and her husband were, thankfully, able to drop in often and he got excellent care. Give your mother a hug from me- well, heck, from all of us. Blessins........