Ugh! Not now. :(

[Gnusgal]

Of course, my heart always picks the most inconvenient times to act up.

Those who have been following along know that right as I was getting ready to start fertility drugs to harvest my eggs for our surrogacy journey my atrial lead broke. I was still able to do the egg retrieval, but then I had to have my LV lead repositioned right about when we had our first ultrasound scheduled. Then it didn't work (the LV lead) and I had to go in again right at Christmas to get the lead placed epicardially. With it finally working I thought I'd get back to feeling as good as I did before the first lead broke. No such luck. After trying and trying for months to figure out why I still feel like crap we finally have answers. Apparently I'm having a lot of atrial disturbances that are not picked up by my ICD. So my EP wants to start me on a new med.

Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. I have to be admitted into the hospital for 72 hours for observation while it's being started. But I have 2 month old twins now. How am I supposed to be away from them for 72 hours?? I can't stand the thought of being away for 4 hours, how am I going to do this?! My mom says to look on the bright side. I might catch up on sleep. But I doubt it. Even if the nurses leave me alone, I'm sure I'll hear the babies in my sleep and wake up looking for them. I'm going crazy just thinking about it.

I'm scheduled to go in Sept. 1-3. My cardiologist is presenting my case to a team of doctors on Monday. I'm hoping one of them gives a solution that doesn't require hospital time.

 

[kschul]

Timing

Timing

Life can throw you a curve ball with the timing of things. It sounds like it is something they can manage so if you have to do the 72 hours it's just how it's going to have to be. Like you said maybe the cardiologists will have some other viable options. Do you have someone to help out with the twins while you would be hospitalized? Can the twins come and visit during the day? I'm sure they want to be with you as much as you do with them. This too shall pass.

Kris

 

[Gnusgal]

My husband will watch the twins. Which means he won't be with me. He said he would only bring them up for short visits so they don't disturb the other patients. I understand it, but I don't have to like it.

 

[Karlynn]

I'm so feeling for you. I had to leave my baby and toddler to go up to Mayo for a week. My Mom and Dad came up to care for them and my DH went with me. I think I cried for the entire week. They, of course, did just fine. In the next few years I had 2 other admits, a week at a time, to CICU at Northwestern to try and get me on an anti-arrhythmic that worked. I think I cried all of both of those weeks too. (I remember my cardio saying that there would be no doubt whether the drugs would work for me while stressed.) My kids, now 23 and 25 have no recall of those occasions, but my heart still goes squish-spasm, when I read of another Mommy having to be away from their babies for heart issues. You will get through it, but you'll ALWAYS remember the way it felt to be away from them (and not on a beach sipping frozen margaritas).

 

[Gnusgal]

Thanks, Karlynn for understanding. I'm crying just thinking about it! At least I should get to see them some, just not much. This is what I call sheer torture!

 

[TXWildflower]

I'm so sorry - I can see why you wouldn't want to be away from those little ones. They look so precious. Give yourself some time to adjust to the idea and maybe it won't seem as bad as it does now. 72 hrs may seem like a long time, but in reality it isn't and hopefully you can catch up on some sleep. Hang in there!

 

[Jkm7]

I feel for you but won't it be such a wonderful gift if the new drug works and you feel great after you adjust to it. Will make caring for the babies so much more fun for you if you feel really good.

Sending best wishes and hugs for those two darlings!

 

[Cooker]

Niki ... I am so sorry you are going through this ... you and your family are in my prayers....

 

[Harrybaby666]

Nikki, Please know that we will all be with you in prayer...

Nikki, Please know that we will all be with you in prayer...

I just know that even if those adorable babies of yours miss their Mommy, that they will REALLLLYYYYY Be Thrilled To Have Mommy Home With Them!!! I am so sorry that your having to go through this right now...Hugs, Harrybaby

 

[Superbob]

Adding my prayers for you and your family, Nikki.

 

[Bina]

Niki, look at it this way: The twins aren't running around yet, things could be crazier.

 

[Cozycat]

Niki, thoughts and prayers will be with you. And I agree, if this works for you your quality of life with your babies will be so much better that you'll make up for the missed minutes in no time. Take care of yourself and let your husband have some time to himself with those adorable babies.

Midge

 

[Wise]

You have my prayers Nikki.

 

[MaryC]

Niki,
I hate to hear you are having to go through this. I am sure it will seem like forever but I hope the time away from your babies goes fast!

Chris

 

[hensylee]

everyone has said what I would say except the part that says you need this for those babies plus yourself. blessins...........

 

[neil]

good luck am sure everthing gonna be fine

 

[Gnusgal]

I know this is something I have to do to make taking care of them easier. I just wish that the something they were doing didn't require going into the hospital or being away from my babies.

My only consolation is that it doesn't require surgery, so at least I'll be able to pick them up when I see them.

 

[Jackie]

My best wishes and prayers are going out to you.

 

[escargome]

Niki,
Hugs and prayers for you. I hope the 72 hours fly by so that you can get back home to those cuties. I also hope that this medication helps you get back on the road to your usual self. God Bless Your Family

 

[zipper2]

Nikki sending thoughts and prayers to all of you.
Sad but glad you are getting this done and over with,your health is important to all involved for along,long time.