Today Its Hard To Cope

[EireCara]

*Hi everyone, Do you every feel just absolutely SICK AND TIRED FEELING SICK. Im also becoming intolerant of people whining about being ill with ''a sniffle''... They dont know it, but im thinking it.

I would just love to wake up one morning and feel ''alive and well''...its been sooo long since that happened !!

Sorry for whining....but noone else understands what its like to feel ill 24/7 day after day. Yes I know I could be worse...Im not in hospital...probably because Im so used to feeling ill and drag myself through each day. Today (and yesterday) its soo difficult, I want to scream (if I had the energy I would).

Guess I'l go get some cheese!!!

 

[Ross]

I find myself giving myself pep talks. There is so little I can do anymore and when I attempt something and it doesn't work out, well I get a bit downright angry and feel pretty damn worthless. It's like a seesaw for me. Happy one minute, madder then hell the next. I just keep reminding myself that at least I can still try to things, which is better then not being able to do them at all.

 

[WayneGM]

Sorry to hear you are having a bad day. I can empathsize with the frustration you must be going through when how you are feeling is beyond your control. I know what you mean about those who complain about the littlest illnesses. It takes a real set-back, like a bad heart, to really appreciate what good health is. Take care, and I hope your day gets better.

 

[Bina]

Mentally it is very hard to be unhealthy....most of my friends just don't get that. They act like I'm choosing to stay home and be left behind.
In my head I dream about riding horses, running, climbing, even doing my own housework, etc.

Ya, the feeling ill and dragging around is horrible....been there, done that.
Hopefully you will have a bit of relief soon.

 

[gadgetman]

Jacqui,

In December 2004, when I could only make 5 or 6 steps before having to stop to catch my breath, not having any energy to even get out of the chair, having my Pa-in-law cut my grass for me because I couldn't, I looked at the wife one night and said "I don't want to live if this is what I have to look forward to".

Jump ahead to 2007, I feel great. I can breathe, I can do almost anything I want and feel 200 per cent better. Even the recent AICD replacement, while no fun, didn't get me down.

I sure hope they can find and fix what is ailing you. Prayers and good thoughts are coming your way.

A toast of the "whine" glass your way. We are here to share.

May God Bless,

Danny

 

[EireCara]

*Thank you Ross, Wayne, Bina, and Danny.

I got a prescription from my gp a couple of weeks ago for an anti-depressant but I havent taken it as Im afraid it will cause arrythmia as that is what I ended up in hospital with 5 or so weeks ago. Basically Im scared...it was a horrible experience..a.fib and VT and chest pain/pressure..I had it every night, and early morning, in the hospital for 7 days in a row and nobody helped me. One doctor CONDIDERED Cordarone, ..mabey there isnt anything else they can do. (In the end they doubled my beta-blocker.) When my heart monitor would 'beep' and 'alarm' loudly the nurses would rush over to my bed, but then they would go off as if to page a doctor to help me, and not come back until it was over. There was only one doctor on call overnight, so by the time he came to my ward it was over. One nurse told me ''we cant do a thing about it to help you, all we can do is call a doctor''...so, that has made me scared for it to happen again.....what do I do....I feel like, if they cant help me in the hospital, noone can.

The cardiologist did mention a pacemaker, but said they couldnt deal with me in this hospital as it is a small hospital. I have to see a doc in a bigger hospital in Bristol...but, Im still waiting.

He also said as well as Moderate MV regurg...my tricuspid valve is leaking moderately...I wondered if the tricuspid valve could cause breathlessness !!!

Sorry for rambling...it is the 'am' hours when everyone else is asleep...except you Ross, Im pretty sure your awake bud. Is a lonely time, isnt it.






Anyway, THANK YOU ALL SOO MUCH FOR YOUR REPLIES.

 

[Trinityheart8891]

I hear ya~!

I hear ya~!

hey Jacqui,
just wanted to let you know, being a 20 year old who was born with several heart issues, I totally know where you are coming from. I am intolerant of people whining about little issues, like sniffles, or sprains, or headaches, but I am even less tolerant of people who trash their bodies by drinking and smoking their brains out, partying all the time, and , well, you get the idea. the reason? probably cause I cant do that kind of stuff, probably because I live with a body that isnt perfect, that I am STUCK with. These people are choosing to do this to themselves.

anyways, I was on an antidepressant for a while, it took me a few different ones to get it right, and I never liked them.....

go ahead and whine, complain, whatever you want, I have had a few of these sessions, and it always feels better afterwards

I gotta go now, I have plenty to do today

later
Morgan, 20

 

[briansmom]

I'm sorry I haven't been emailing lately, I have been having my own "whinefest"; but, I have been thinking about you and praying that they will get you figured out soon! Hang in there! I think you are making progress in your navigation of the difficult medical system that you are dealing with.

 

[EireCara]

*Thank you Morgan.

*Deanne, I think of, and pray for you and Brian every day.Thanks. ((((hugs))))