To hold a kindagarten back or not?

[alison mcgough]

Brooklyn is still waiting for her next heart surgery. The Dr.s said she could have a hard time learning in school and this has proved true. She is in Kindergarten and they want to hold her back. She was having trouble reading so we got her a reading coach 2x a week and she has been doing great. But still not up to their standards. She is also having trouble with math. In the state of Alabama it is the parent?s choice to hold a child back in kindergarten. My husband thinks she will do fine in 1st grade but I am worried. The school said that if she has to have 2 more heart surgeries before her senior year this too can hold her back. So by giving her an extra year in kindergarten it will give her the confidence she needs. I do not like the fact that she will be 7 in December and the other kids will be 5 turning 6. We will continue to have her tutored this summer. I guess I?m writing to get others advice so if you have some please share.

 

[Lisa in Katy]

As a mom and a former 1st grade teacher, I wouldn't recommend holding a Kindergartner back, unless she is one of the younger kids in the class. I had kids that came to me "behind" and caught up by Christmas. It's often just a matter of maturity and not all kids grow up at the same rate. I find it appalling that any school would think of holding a Kindergartner back because of their reading skills. It just shows that we are pushing kids too hard. Kindergartners should be expected to be sounding out words and have 25-50 sight words, but anything beyond that isn't age appropriate. Yes, some kids can read well at that age, but again, not all kids mature at the same rate.

When it is time for her to have surgery, get with the school ahead of time about setting up her homebound program. That way she won't really miss anything. The school should be accommodating; it's the law! Of course, the younger they are, the easier it is. I was on homebound for 2 months as a 9th grader, and the teacher had a very difficult time with Algebra and my other high school courses.

 

[Tbone]

In 1977 was in 8th grade and needed surgery. As you know boys will be boys & they are rough sometimes. What happened to me was in January the day after my birthday I had an appointment with my cardiologist. It ended up that I went to the Mayo Clinic to have surgery & had it one March 1st. When I got home I couldn't go to school till the next year. After 6 weeks of recovery my parents got me a tutor twice a week on through the summer. I passed 8th grade & was able to continue school the next year with my friends.

With the education system today the school should provide you a tutor or make special arrangements since your daughter will have special needs. I had no trouble & adjusted well. I only had to make sure not to get in a fight, or play football.

Whatever your family decides I wish you well. I know that it is a very hard decision.

 

[Guest]

Look into the 504 program, this should cover your daughter's special needs.

Section 504

It can be beneficial throughout her academic life. I would not hold back a kindergartner. Continue the tutoring, stay in contact with the school counselors, they will help you navigate the 504 program and assist you with the teachers. Good luck.

 

[swim mom]

I agree with all of the others. I would not hold her back. I have three children from sixth grade to a Senior. We have moved a lot so I have had to be my children's advocate for a long time. My first similar problem was keeping a young first grader from skipping 2nd grade. She was in a split 1/2 class in a small school for first grade. She was bored so her awesome teacher kept her occupied and challenged by giving her both the 1st and 2nd grade work. Unfortunately we moved and I didn't want her advanced. Long story short I won and her school had to accommodate her. She is much happier and fits in much better socially with the kids that are her age, I have no regrets. Ax to the 504 I would ABSOLUTELY look into it. I have a high achieving 15 year old with ADHD and anxiety issues. Not only does a 504 require the school to do certain things but it backs you up. When my daughter takes long tests she gets extra time so she can take a short break to help her keep her attention and an extra proctor sits with several children with the same issues and reminds them to pay attention. Her 504 specifically addresses her problems. I guess in all my long windedness I am saying we HAVE to be our childrens strongest advocate they depend on us and we owe it to them! ;

 

[geebee]

I don't think this is the right time to consider holding her back. If, down the road, things seem to indicate she is way behind, you can make a choice then. If she is able to keep up then you would not have set things up for her to be older and bigger than others in her class which can be cause for teasing and ridicule. Give her the chance and see where things go.

 

[terryj]

My granddaughter is 14. Her best friend was held back in kindergarten by her mother. Next year my grandaughter will be in high school and her best friend will still be in junior high. They are both unhappy about this and her mom now regrets holding her back.

 

[Blanche]

Research on grade retention

Research on grade retention

Alison:

The person who has been doing research on grade retention for the past 20 years or so is Dr. Mary Lee Smith from Arizona State University at Tempe. She has compiled her own research and has done meta analyis of much of the research of other scholars. The results of her work and that of other researchers indicate that it is more problematic to retain a student than it is to pass the student.

http://epicpolicy.org/author/smith-mary-lee

When my son was in kindergrten, his teacher wanted to hold him and his best friend back for another year. When I asked the teacher to tell me "what my son was doing or not doing that children who are not being retained were not doing or doing?" I did not like her answers so I insisted that my boy pass to the next grade with the other children. His friends parents let their boy be retained.

For years, my son's friend talked about flunking kindergarten. I saw him when he was 33 years old and he still mentioned flunking kindergarten. This is just one person's experience.

Please check out the research before you make your decision.

If I can be helpful, please contact me by e-mail or PM.

Blanche

A long, long time ago, I remember a teacher who was being honored by her school district say, "Teachers don't teach classes....They teach students in classes."

 

[Ross]

My vote is she goes on to first grade, then if there is a need to hold her back, do so at that level, but not kindergarten.

The sad thing is, it's getting to be that they want kindergartners to know algebra and calculus before they even learn to ride a bike. It's ridiculous.

 

[RI Mom]

You have been given some great advice. If your child does not have an IEP (individualized education plan), you should request a meeting to discuss the possibilities of testing her to determine why she is having difficulties or to request a 504 plan. Check out www.wrightslaw.com for some great information on special education and specifically 504 plans which are meant to provide accomodations for children with medical conditions.

Retaining her may not solve anything if there is an underlying learning disability or medical condition affecting her cognitive abilities (as is the case sometimes with kids who have been on the heart-lung bypass machine or who have to play catch-up because of multiple medical interventions).

This is a very tough and long-lasting decision and I don't envy you. My son turned 5 in Sept. and was able to go to KG but because he was so small and was only 6 weeks out from his 2nd OHS, I chose to wait until he was 6 for kindergarten. It has worked out very well so far.

Best wishes in your decision!

Theresa
Mom to Idrees, 6 with CHD
partial AV canal and PS (repaired in 2003)
mitral and pulmonary valve replacements (2007)
failed homograft....awaiting replacement
INOVA Fairfax Hospital Drs. Irving Shen and Lucas Collazo

INR Home Tester

 

[jjay32]

I have a son that has a IEP in place due to extreme difficulty in reading (just now able to read at a 3rd grade level and he is in 5th grade), Even with this modified school schedule, He has made honor roll all of this year. I would not hold back for lack of ability to read. Get with the school for testing requirements to be put on an IEP, they are required to make accommodations.

Jjay

 

[alison mcgough]

Wow all of you are so kind sharing your advice with me.
Yes, Brooklyn does have an iep and goes to speech therapy and an extra reading class. On top of that my husband and I have her seeing a tutor 2x a week. She struggles with math also. But I feel like she will get it soon. I pray that if I do send her to 1st grade that she does not struggle as the school has warned me she would. I will look into the 504 plan this is something that I have not heard of. So thank you all for helping me!

 

[laurad37]

we held our son back on kindergarten due to not being able to read at grade level. I am glad we did... he is now in 4th grade and is still struggling and is now only reading at at a 3rd grade reading level... I can't even begin to imagine the struggles he would be having if we hadn't held him back. He does have an IEP at school and works with a reading specialist and a tuter.

 

[Nupur]

Hi Alison, good to see you posting. I think every child is different and reacts differently to being held back. This year, a little girl came back to my son's K class from first grade (in a private school too) after 3 months, because she was on the younger side and was having trouble in first grade. According to her mom, she was so much happier to be in K and without the first grade pressure. If Brooklyn is clearly looking much older than the K kids at 7, then this might be a problem though. How sensitive is she?

Can she get extra help + summer school to catch up and move to first grade? I am glad you are doing tutoring outside school also. What with the budget cuts, the school districts are struggling to support their kids and often drop the ball. I wouldn't think reading at grade level is such a big deal right now.

Sorry I didn't give you any clear advice. But like I said, I really think it depends on the individual child. All the best to you, and hugs to Brooklyn.

 

[Lisa in Katy]

What is the reason for her IEP? Is it just OHI, speech, or has she been diagnosed with a learning disability? 504 is for kids that don't qualify for special ed, often used for kids with ADD or Dyslexia. It provides for modifications within the classroom, but no special ed services. The IEP that your daughter is already on covers anything a 504 would offer.

 

[Lynlw]

I didn't see this thread so am copying my post where you asked this question in the other thread


Hi I missed your post in Nov, sorry. My son Justin is 21 and also has had a few heart surgeries. Since Brooklyn has and IEP, Does she have it for her CHD, or did they do tests for a learning disability also? The reason I ask is because a large percentage of children with CHD that had surgeies as a baby have learning problems, they aren't sure if it is from surgeries, low Oxygen or combinations of everything. Justin was classified in 2nd grade with a learning disability so was in special classes for reading, writing, spelling, language until he was mainstreamed for all classes in 10th grade. He had alot of problems in K and 1st grade, which is why they started the testing for a LD.
Since she has an IEP she probably doesn't need a 504, they usually use a 504 for physical /health problems if a child doesn't qualify for an IEP. IF they have an IEP then they just incorparate anything the 504 would say into the IEP.
As for holding her back, I can't offer any advice, we briefly thought about it when Justin was in Kindergarden, looking back I'm glad we didn't. He can be sensetive and already felt a little different because of his heart,kind of low self esteem and had some really good friends so staying in Kindergarden when all his friends moved up, probably really would have made his self esteem really low., and but again he ended up having a learning disability and holding him back wouldn't have helped, what he really needed was the smaller class and the teachers being able to teach him the way he learns best, he's more an audio viusal/hands on type of learning not reading.
BUT I guess ALOT would depend on what kind of grades Brooklyn is getting. Justin always struggled and had a hard time but never was flunking, or almost flunking grades, but alot of that was because he did all his homework ect so that kept him in low C's even with the terrible test grades. IF he was failing everything I would have kept him back

I'm not quite sure I understand why having surgeries would later on would hold her back, Justin and most kids I know had teachers come to the house while he was out. Actually Justin got better grades when he was homebound because the teacher got to work with just him and they got a weeks worth of class done in just a couple hours. (he had home bound part of 5th, 6th and 11th) BUT IF they think she might get held back later, I would think holding her back now might cause problems later on, I can't imagine being a Senior in HS when you are 20.
I probably confused you more than helpd soory, I'm hav9ing a tough day and not thinking clearly and am typing with a splint on my hand (gee I sound like a mess lol)
__________________

 

[halleyg]

This school year I was a substitute teacher at my childrens elementary school, and my daughters are in K and 2nd. I just came from my youngest's class book party this morning, and noticed the kids reading on all different levels. I also notice when I sub in the lower grades and have reading groups, that within one classroom there are usually 4 different groups which are decided per reading level. So in one 1st grade class you may have a few kids reading chapter books fluently, all the way to kids who are still sounding out words. I know our school has reading specialists come in to spend time with the children who need it. I can't imagine that holding her in kindergarten if she is going to be 7 is necessary. My stepson is turning 18 this month, but when he started 1st grade we had moved, so different school than he was in for K. He did not learn to read at the other school, they just worked on letters the whole year. So he was one of the only kids in the class who couldn't read. They put him in a special group, and he was quickly reading, since then he has been an excellent reader and took AP classes throughout highschool. I say this b/c all kids start out at different levels, but in my experience, as long as they are receiving a good education and the attention they need, they will all be where they should in the end.

Just my two cents!

 

[ponygirlmom]

We held my daughter back twice (kindergarten and fourth grade) and I am so very glad that we were able to. If my daughter had been quick to mature it would have been hard. However, since she is small and has always looked younger than her age, she never seemed out of place with her classmates.

She really needed the extra time and repetition. Like your daughter, she has an IEP. She was in a mainstream school program with various forms of special classes, tutors and speech therapy from K - 8. She entered a mainstream high school program with an IEP.

We were able to easily give her a second fourth-grade year because her school mixed ages and grades in the classrooms. Students often did not know the exact grades of their peers, and it was common to be in a class with a particular teacher for two or three years. So again, she did not suffer any stigma from "not advancing" with her peers.

She is now a junior in high school and she is finally catching up to her grade level. She is getting A's in a regular algebra II class, B's in a regular-but-low-level English class and A's in a history class that has accommodations for learning disabilities.

I know that most people have already told you to send her to the first grade. However, her teachers, who are aware of the accommodations they can give her with an IEP, and who know that she has been in reading class and has a tutor, are still recommending retention. This isn't a random opinion! I think they must have a good reason for it.

Think about how mature your daughter seems compared to her peers. If she blends in well with kindergartners, see if her teachers can give you specifics about the ways that retention will help her and advancement may be frustrating for her.

 

[Rebecca]

My daughter was only 3 when she started speech class. She graduated from speech in 4th grade. Early in 1st grade I notices lots of papers with N's needs improvement. The top paper the teacher would alway write doing well. I pointed this out and my daughter was tested and was put into resource classes for math and language arts. She did go to some evening classes outside of school for reading. In the summer months I did the Weekly Reader summer skills work books with her. The best thing that I did was made her go to summer school at the end of 4th grade. She had a great summer school teacher. All year during 5th grade her summer school teacher come to the house once a week and tutor her. In 6th grade I had her pulled from resource class and she had a 94.5 grade point average that year. Her freshman year of college alway at school was hard for her. She is now a Junior and is on track to graduate from college after four years and one summer.

Both of my children did have a friend that were held back at the end of kindagarten and were in honor and ap classes in high school. My brother inlaw fluncked 1st grade and graduated from college at the top of his class.

I am glad that my daughter graduated with her class. Good luck in deciding what to do. You know your child the best. In some states the cut off point for kindagarten is Dec 31.

 

[lilteach3234]

As a mom and a former 1st grade teacher, I wouldn't recommend holding a Kindergartner back, unless she is one of the younger kids in the class. I had kids that came to me "behind" and caught up by Christmas. It's often just a matter of maturity and not all kids grow up at the same rate. I find it appalling that any school would think of holding a Kindergartner back because of their reading skills. It just shows that we are pushing kids too hard. Kindergartners should be expected to be sounding out words and have 25-50 sight words, but anything beyond that isn't age appropriate. Yes, some kids can read well at that age, but again, not all kids mature at the same rate.

When it is time for her to have surgery, get with the school ahead of time about setting up her homebound program. That way she won't really miss anything. The school should be accommodating; it's the law! Of course, the younger they are, the easier it is. I was on homebound for 2 months as a 9th grader, and the teacher had a very difficult time with Algebra and my other high school courses.

I feel the same as Lisa does. I am a teacher as well. I would definitely remember the homebound suggestion as Lisa.

Don't worry yourself sick....she will do just fine and so will you. Don't forget to utilize your school personnel!