This Is My Story

[inlaguna]

Hello Jim,


Wanted to wish you the best of luck and tell you that my 5 year old girl reacted quite well to the news of dad's surgery last December. We told her that dad was getting some surgery and he would be OK. After it was over we explained a little more regarding the specifics (heart surgery etc).

She came to visit 2 or 3 days after the operation and, needless to say, she was a hit with patients and nurses alike. Being five often gets you a hall pass to go places we just would not be allowed.

After I was out, she insisted that my scar and story were show and tell for all the folks walking the streets in Boston. I don't mind showing my scar every now and then, but I was a little more uncomfortable with strangers, outside in 5 degree temps. You won't have that problem out here.

Anyway, I used the time to enjoy my family and take two....or three steps back from my hectic job and reflect on how lucky I was to get a second chance.

Good luck with all

Dan

 

[ALCapshaw2]

Welcome Jim,

It sounds like you have your head in the right place for your surgery.

Some time ago, one of our members told how he prepared his children for his upcoming surgery. I wish I could remember his name.

One KEY element I do remember is that he bought a stechoscope and let his kids listen to his Murmur and then had them listen to THEIR hearts. He told them he had a problem with his heart and the doctor was going to FIX IT. After he returned home, he let them listen to his 'fixed' heart. This seemed to help them accept what was about to happen and to understand that daddy would be better after he got fixed. That's probably all that kids need (or want) to know about your surgery.

'AL Capshaw'

 

[Karlynn]

Lawyers or filibusterers?

Ross, don't you know that now you don't actually have to talk in order to fillibuster? Yep, our dear politicians in D.C. have come up with a way to fillibuster without actually having to stand there and talk. To be very simplistic, all they do is file a document that says "We're fillibustering this issue." and no one has to stand there and say anything. Then a vote of 60% is required to end the "fillibuster". The days of talking for hours on end, reading the dictionary into the congressional record, reading nursery rhymes etc, are over. Nope, the only physical effort they have to go through is the hour it takes to file the document and then they go about their usual routine. This is why it's so hard to end a fillibuster these days. Fillibustering doesn't take time away from anything, so what's the incentive to end it? Leave it to Washington!

Sorry to hijack the thread, just an interesting tidbit. I'll go sit in the corner now.

 

[Karlynn]

I'm going to home and uncork the best bottle of wine I have, say a prayer for Katie, Chuck and PJ and toast all of my new-found friends here for calming and reassuring me during a most challenging time. -- Jim

You are a true VR member, wine, prayers and all.

Sorry to have hijacked your thread a bit. I forwarded your post on to my daughter - she loves lawyer stories.

It sounds like Amanda will come through your surgery just fine, with all the carring people she has around her. It's important to be honest with kids, but simplistically honest. Just like answering children's questions about sex, you explain in a way that is relevant to her age.

Best Wishes!

 

[parker]

Parker

Parker

We have some things in common. I'm a 54 year old trial lawyer from Florida speciallizing in plaintiff's first party insurance litigation. First name-Jim. I got the same valve put in on March 2nd. No trials yet but lots of hearings. If anything I think I'm a little calmer in court than before. I'm 1/2 of a two man firm so I was able to dictate my own pace in returning to full time work. I feel like I'm 100% now but won't really know for sure untill my next trial which is set for Aug. 8th. The surgury and recovery are not that bad unless something weird happens. One of the things I hated the most was all the lawyer jokes. Best of luck !

 

[Rain]

Amanda is beautiful.

Amanda is beautiful.

Jim,

This surgery certainly has an impact on our children. I?m happy to hear you?re thinking about it. You have to tell your daughter that you are having surgery. The important thing, at her age, is to not scare the daylights out of her. She doesn?t need to know the details. But does need to know you are being honest with her.

HEY! I wonder if we all have majorly (is that a word?! ) stressful events leading up to our surgery? It was one of the most stressful times of my life...... And the story is almost as interesting as Jim?s!! .........but certainly not as profitable.

Parker............ How you doin? with the cow jokes?? Just kidding!

 

[jayaresq]

It seems like I can't say thanx enough to all of you. The advice about my upcoming chat with Amanda has helped me see the situation clearer. I don't want to scare her and think I should be more casual in my approach. When she laid on my chest a few weeks ago, she remarked (out of the blue) how my heartbeat sounded different than her mom's. I suppose that will provide a natural starting point. Amanda loves to dress up, mostly as princesses (i.e., Cinderella, Snow White, Jasmine), so the "Little Nurse" references have me thinking that she might even get a kick out of occasionally dressing up as a nurse or doctor when she comes over to visit me. We'll see how it goes.

Nancy and Karlynn seem to be surrounded by up-and-coming lawyers. Congrats, I think. Most trial lawyers who love their work will tell you that proactive stress management and a healthy perspective are essential ingredients to overall career satisfaction. In practical terms, that may mean only as much as taking enjoyable vacations and not taking yourself too seriously. Better to avoid the ones who rely on insults as fodder or who can't seem to let any argument rest. Still, learning and loving to argue young is a good springboard. I am intrigued and grateful for Parker's insight and hope to return from AVR with the same balanced approach. I'm doubtful about being ready for my next trial set for September, but the next one in October seems doable.

Rain, if you think my story is interesting, please add to the mix of the big verdict and AVR this week the fact that my long-pending divorce became final today. No time to be bored for now. -- Jim

 

[Mary]

Rain, if you think my story is interesting, please add to the mix of the big verdict and AVR this week the fact that my long-pending divorce became final today. No time to be bored for now. -- Jim

Jim,
If you are given a chance to reflect right before going in for the AVR, I believe that you will view the week's events from a whole different perspective.
Nothing looks too big when viewed beside one's own mortality.
Best wishes,
Mary

 

[Rain]

Mary,

It would be interesting to know what everyone?s last thoughts were as they ?went under?.... and came back out.

When the anesthesiologist told me to ?think happy thoughts? I thought of my darling six year old daughter... but tears came to my eyes. My worst nightmare was that something would happen to me and I wouldn?t get to raise her. Whatever my favorite cowboy anesthesiologist gave me... worked with lightening speed.... it was immediately lights out for Rain!

Then I remember waking up, seeing faces over me, and hearing them talk about my blood pressure... then the nurses getting blankets out of an oven in the side of the wall...... that felt sooooooooo nice. Then in ICU.... seeing my college freshman standing next to me. He almost cried. Whew... it?s trippy just remembering it, isn?t it?

Hey Jim... Your life is starting to sound like one of those old country music songs! lol

 

[Karlynn]

The last thing I recall (other than them cutting into my neck to put in the lines, thinking I was asleep) was my Dad leaning over me and giving me a kiss saying "I love you baby." and feeling a tear of his drop onto my cheek.

The first thing I remember after wasn't good. The paralytic drugs used hadn't worn off yet and I couldn't move. I thought something had gone horribly wrong. I was panicing. I wish I could say I was having sweet thoughts of my family, but I was thinking "I'm in here and nobody knows it."

 

[Granbonny]

Jim

Jim

Welcome.... I only had 3 days before my surgery..(Found aneurysm)on Friday..surgery was for Monday morning... I have helped raise my now age 13 year old Grandson since he was age 2 weeks...Grandson is my son's child...(However, son and Grandson's Mom are still best friends)after all these years. He is in Cancun now with his Mom but will come home this Thursday..Thank goodness. I have really missed him.. The next day, I went to watch him play his Little League game..and on Sunday we all went out for Sunday Brunch... We had all decided to not tell him too much..about my upcoming surgery..Other than, Granbonny is going into hospital Monday.......A friend took him to school on Monday..ALL other family was at hospital with me..and when they ALL came back..I had..had my Happy Juice.. and last thing I remember was telling someone to give my big..6ft.4 in..son something.( Policeman)Happy Juice for he was the only one teary........ I don't remember anything else until I awoke in Private room. ..He brought my Grandson (age 10)up to see me on Day 3..Crawled into bed with me.. 3 Weeks later..I was back at his games. I don't think he ever knew just what I had done..and I didn't tell him..Now, 3 years and 4 months..It's hard for him to keep up with me. Bonnie

 

[Mary]

I'm going to hijack this thread temporarily! But I promise to bring it back later!
Rain, I'm sharing my experience!

The night before surgery, alone in the hospital room, I realized how useless all my worries were. They were big worries, but I knew once they wheeled me in to the OR, there was nothing more I could do to change whatever was about to happen. In a way, it was very liberating. I've been a mother for 31 nonstop years, and I've worried about at least one of my children, if not all five, throughout each and everyone of those more than 10.000 days. For a change, my worry was completely focused on my life. It made me feel very insignificant and alone. I put my trust completely in God and gave my fears over to him.

The actual day of surgery, I was anxious because they didn't give me the Adavan ahead of time as promised. The Adavan arrived at the same time as the OR gurney. The anesthesiologist met me outside the operating room. I immediately launched into, "I thought you told me I would get something so I wouldn't remember this!" The dear man smiled, reached into his coat pocket, and produced the biggest hypodermic I've ever seen! It looked like it was brimming with happy juice!
We talked a little more about my fear of the ventilator.
He said, "I'm here to put an end to all bad vent experiences!"
Then I asked, "Well, when are you going to give me the shot?" He didn't even smirk when he said, "As soon as I can get you to stop talking!"
I shut up, he put the meds in the IV, and I was out by the time he wheeled me into the OR!
I woke up sometime during the night to hear a nurse say, "We're taking your tube out now, Mrs. Stone" but I had no idea what they were talking about. When I woke up again at 6 the next morning, I finally realized it must have been the ventilator tube. No recollection of it at all! No wonder I loved the hospital and the doctors who worked on me!