The final stretch...

[Raverlaw]

I had my pre-op appointment with the surgeon yesterday and all appears go for AVR on 2/20. I'm still catching up (getting ahead?) at work, but have accepted that whatever's not done by 2/19 isn't going to GET done, at least for a while.

My clients have been very supportive and understanding, although I've referred a few new matters to other lawyers because I don't know how long it will be before I can give them my full attention again.

I'm supposed to stop my Beta-carotene, Vitamin E and fish oil supplements by tomorrow to avoid excessive bleeding. I'll have to figure out how to balance those things with the coumadin after surgery, I guess.

My bloodwork, new EKG and new chest x-rays will be done Monday morning at the hospital, which also politely called and asked me to pay my 20% share of the hospitalization costs in advance. Maybe they don't think I'm going to make it

So, 6 days and counting (Sorry, Bryan!!). A few of you are still going to beat me to it, and I know that there are others who will go in before I get home again. Best of luck to all of you.

I'm not taking much to the hospital with me; earplugs & slippers. My wife will bring me some reading material later if I need it.

After much discussion, my parents, who are 73, insist on making a 7 hour drive to "be there" during the surgery. I have told them over and over that I will be out of it and that I'd rather have them visit while I'm recovering at home (where I could actually spend quality time with them, they could help with the kids, etc.) They seem to feel some obligation to be on hand *while* the surgery is happening. I'm afraid they will just hover and drive my wife nuts (but I didn't tell them that) I really only want my wife there when I wake up, but I don't want to hurt my parents' feelings. I tried to be as blunt as I dared, but they didn't get the message.

Oh well. I know their intentions are good. Sandy and I are going to stay in a hotel the night before the surgery (even though the hospital is only a half hour from home), since I have to check in at 5:00 a.m. We'll have a light, private dinner for just the two of us and get a good night's sleep - I hope.

Sandy has registered here as "Raverlaw's Wife" and promises to update the post-surgery thread with news until I get home and log on again.

Let's go! I want to get this over with.

 

[Ross]

My bloodwork, new EKG and new chest x-rays will be done Monday morning at the hospital, which also politely called and asked me to pay my 20% share of the hospitalization costs in advance. Maybe they don't think I'm going to make it

Well if you don't, make sure they give you your money back!

I'm sure your mom and dad got the message loud and clear, but you are their blood, so forgive them for turning deaf or playing dumb. I'm sure you'd be the same way if it were one of your kids going in. I know I wished badly that my parents were still around and could've been there. My wife had to work, then travel to the hospital, then home, then back to the hospital etc,. She wasn't in a very good mood most of the time, but I'm glad that I at least had her to fight for me.

 

[Bryan B]

Bill,

I'm getting more desensitized to "things" as each day passes. I guess my higher power knows me well and has me waiting for a reason. I will worry about you though, and I'm glad your wife will be updating us. I'm glad your wait is almost over...you sound like you're handling everything well and you are ready to go.

My parents are about the same age, and since I'm not married they are going to be the ones taking care of me after surgery. My Mom even went out and bought a recliner for me. I woudn't know what I'd do without them. Even if I was married and had someone to take care of me I know that nothing would keep them from being there, so just let your parents do whatever they need to do that helps them deal with having their son go through this.

 

[Heather Fisher]

My mom insisted on coming during my surgery too (much to my husband's displeasure) It would have been much easier without her but I figured it was her right to be there. If one of my kids has to have surgery I would insist on being there. Just smile and keep a stiff upper lip! Yes, they would be much more help if they could come and stay, perhaps after your wife goes back to work, but it doesn't work that way. Best of luck. I'm glad all the other pre-op stuff is working out!

Heather

 

[Karlynn]

Bill,
Ah parents, God bless them. I'm sure I'd do the same thing. They love you more than life itself and feel they'd rather be near you than far away at such a time. But be warned that your wife's next birthday/anniversary/Christmas present will have to be a VERY good one to make up for being the accepting daughter-in-law.

Best wishes.

 

[Granbonny]

Hi..Bill

Hi..Bill

I have been following all your posts..... Joined on 1-6-04 and have posted 127 posts..3 a day... At that rate you will soon join Ross as highest poster. followed by Nancy, Hensylee and me. I know you are ready for surgery and will be back to your woodworking, Kayaking, hiking wine tasting and reading in a few months. Please don't think of your parents as being old at age 73...that's my hubby's age and he is helping me raise an age 11 year old Grandson. He just drove in the fog down a mountain when they called at 2 a.m. when Grandson had a fever of 104 degrees. They love you..and want to be there for you.I loved the fact..that my family was with me. even the Grandson on day 3 at hospital.Sat on bed and watched T.V. with me. You will be FINE..... Remember..when you come home..Walk and that will get those nasty drugs out of you..soon..and you will feel better. Bonnie

 

[dawnwit15]

God bless

God bless

God bless your parents, just remember their intentions are good and they love you dearly. You will make it through this. Keep your positive attitude as it will ease you through this time. I think it's a great idea that you and your wife will be staying at a hotel pre-surgery, we did the same thing, so there is no hassle in the morning. The less stress the better off you'll be. It sounds like you are the first scheduled surgery at 5am, so just remember you'll be the first one out--yippie!!! and on your way to recovery. Tell your wife, we are here for her and to post anytime she needs a shoulder to cry on especially from all of us that have been there. Best of luck to you. Godspeed!
dawnwit15

 

[Mark Wagner]

Your going to do great Bill, and it sounds like you have lots of support on your end. Thanks for keeping us posted.

Mark

 

[fisher6476]

Hi Bill,
Well, my parents could'nt be held back either. They had to be driven, my mom can't walk well and had to use a wheel chair and my dad has significant short term memory problems, but God love our parents who love us that much. Two thumbs up as it sounds like you have got your ducks in a row and I know things will go very well for you.
Steve

 

[EVELYN]

Hi Bill

I'm sure all will be well! You sound absolutely great and just think, if it were your kids, wouldn't you want to be there? I would have given anything to have my mom and dad around that long....they passed when I was 19 and 24. Give them a hug because they're way worried about you.

Bestest wishes.

Evelyn

 

[Kathy]

Bill,

I can understand how you feel about your parents coming for your surgery. I was quite happy having only my husband there and my daughter coming two days later. On the other hand, I can understand that your parents need to be there. Maybe they won't drive your wife absolutely crazy.

I'm glad that you feel comfortable with the arrangements you have made for your practice. I know it was a great comfort to me to know that I had met all my professional obligations before surgery.

My husband took off almost a month from his practice. After he returned he rearranged his schedule numerous times to accompany me to medical appointments. Clients and people in the legal community have been understanding and very supportive. In fact, I was surprised at all the acts of kindness. People certainly stereotype the legal profession. Whenever someone tells a lawyer joke, I tell them some of the nicest people I know are lawyers!

 

[LDS4EVER]

to raverlaw

to raverlaw

Hi my name is Christine,I had a AVR 3yrs ago ,I was 45 at the time single mother of 3,I was very happy to have my mom with me all the way up to the door before they take you in I was holding her hand so tight and crying often "mommy " even at my age I was scared to death.and when I came into ICU a nurse came up to me opened my eyes said oh mame she is still out of it my mother came up to me rubbed my arm and i heard everthing she said she said im here honey im not going anywhere I was so glad she was there for me it was a great bonding for us anyway you take care and belive me you wont care if anyone is there just try holding your head up lol ask for a heart pillow too youll need one when you cough "ouch" well take care chris

 

[Raverlaw]

Thanks, everyone-

I know my parents love me - that's why they're coming all this way. They're worried a lot more than I am, and they have time to sit around and stress about it. I think it would be easier on them to stay home (my Dad just had eye surgery and can't see well), but they INSIST. I'm going to be unconscious, so it won't bother me that much.

Kathy-

Interestingly, I've had to tell the other lawyers in the community, even those who are on opposite sides from me, and they've all been very supportive. I don't have to worry about someone trying to take advantage of my absence, like I would if I practiced law in L.A. or somewhere.

 

[Nancy]

Hi Bill-

I have been thinking about your parents. I am sure they are so scared of this surgery. Remember how you felt when you first heard that you needed it. You have had quite a bit of time to do lots of research on the subject and to get lots of input from people who have been in your shoes. Your poor parents are coming into this cold, I would guess.

Realizing how terrified many people are when they hear that a surgeon will cut their heart open and do lots of tinkering around and may even take out a vital part and replace it with something which didn't grow there, I'm pretty darned sure they are panicking.

You have probably been filling your wife in on everything, so she'll have a BIG head start on your parents.

Just trying to put myself in their shoes. Perhaps you could speak with the surgeon's office and solicit the help of one of the PAs or Nurse Practitioners. They might be able to visit with your parents a few times during the surgical period and help smooth things over and prepare your parents for how you will appear when they first see you, which can be quite a shock. I really wouldn't want them to be shocked at how you appear and how you are hooked up to things, and how "out of it" you might be for a few days. It can be very, very scary.

All of us here know it's the norm, but they won't.

 

[George DiMundo]

Here it is, Bill--the last week. I know you will be glad to have this week behind you. I understand about your parents. My dad, who is 84, was understandably very concerned but does not do well away from home for more than one night at a time even though he is very active on his own. For that reason he did not come up to the hospital for the surgery. I was considering not telling him about the surgery until it was over, but I decided that it was fairest to tell him beforehand. I was concerned that he would decide that he had to be at the hospital which would not have been a comfort to my wife and would not have been easy on him. My sister brought him over to our home on the first week-end after we had returned home and it was only then that he accepted that I had come through the surgery well. It might have been better for him to have seen me earlier so he didn't have as long to worry and I am sure that is what your parents are feeling. My wife was glad to spend the time during the surgery and when I was in the hospital with our two sons and it was wonderful that both young men could be there for support.

I am glad I was able to schedule the surgery for January 15--our older son and his wife were departing on January 21 for a long-planned three week trip to New Zealand and our younger son and his wife were presenting us with our 2nd grandchild in mid-February. I know that I complicated their lives for awhile but the NZ trip went well and, barring a change in plans, our grandson will be born (by c-section) on Tuesday. What a year this has been!

We were in Los Angeles with the expecting couple this week-end and I left my wife there to take care of our grand-daughter while our daughter-in-law is in the hospital. I drove for the first time today, a four hour drive home. I'll return to work (part-time) beginning on Tuesday and I am cleared to return to work full-time on Monday, Feb. 23. I will return to Los Angeles on Friday afternoon to see my grandson and then bring my wife home next week-end. By the time we get back in town you should be starting to take short walks in the hospital and on the road to recovery. Don't forget to break in those hiking shoes for the trip to Yosemite in April! Maybe you should bring them to the hospital and not the slippers.

 

[suz]

Bill,

Just want to wish you the very best. I am expecting you to be on the recovery fast track like my Dad. I can't believe it will be 2 weeks since his surgery tomorrow and he should be going home today! They had him at a rehab center attached to the hospital one week after surgery and it seems to have been a great prep for life on his own. They had him dressing himself, showering himself and he even did a stint at the kitchen making an omelet for himself. A few days after surgery he did need some oxygen at night because they determined him to be one of the many shallow breathers and it seems that he wasn't getting enough oxygen in his blood. I can't wait to see him this friday. I will be definately thinking of you and your family on Thursday.

Since you started your announcement speaking of work, I really hope that when you are under, you will be thinking of a lovely beach somewhere where you and your wife are sipping mai tai drinks and soaking in the sun rather then thinking of a courtroom. I was just picking out a get well card for my dad and I saw a really funny one that had, on the cover, something like, "don't worry about your work getting done while you are away" when you opened it up it said, "we found someone to take over your responsibilities temporarily till you get back." It had a pic of a smiling chimp with a pen in its hand.

best,
suz

 

[Raverlaw]

Thanks, everyone.

George, glad to hear you are back to work at least a little bit. Don't let them work you too hard - make the kids carry those heavy math books for you!

Suz- thanks for the laugh. Your dad sounds like he is doing much better and I'm sure he is looking forward to getting home.

I had my lab work, x-rays and EKG done today. They showed my how to use the spirometer and answered last minute questions. I've been poked, prodded, pre-admitted and am all ready to go. I wish it was tomorrow instead of Friday.

The patient care coordinator took one look at me during the interview this morning and suggested that I shave myself before coming in to the hospital, so that the nurses would only have to "do a little bit of touch up" - I guess they don't want me to clog the pipeline like George did. She told me to shave everything from my legs to my armpits. When I questioned her as to why, I realized that she thought I was coming in for a CABG. When she found out it was an AVR, she said I could skip the legs and upper arms, but she still wants me to shave the groin, chest, forearms and armpits.

I'll probably look like I've been through a meat grinder when I check in - good thing I'm NOT on Coumadin yet!!

I was so tired when I got home around noon, I took a nap for the rest of the afternoon, even though I had planned to go into the office and get things done. I haven't realized how much this is all wearing on me. I just want to go and get it over with!

 

[Bryan B]

Bill,

That's probably a good idea to shave ahead of time. That will at least remove the possiblity of any possible embarrasing situation "arising" if a pretty nurse happened to be assigned to shave you. The last cath I had they gave me a single blade Bic shaver in the hospital to do the job. Not exactly my choice of shaver for the job!

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm sure they will go over them with me, but it's nice to know what to expect when my time comes.

 

[Christina L]

Bill,

Just want you to know that you will be thought of and prayed for on the 20th. You are going to be fine. Just put one foot in front of the other, go through the motions, and the next thing you know you will be waking up in ICU or in a private room (as some lucky people have done - not me!).

As for parents, I cried for my mother at my lowest points during my hospitalization - both of my parents are deceased - too young. I felt alone at times, although Wayne was there and a sister - we flew to Cleveland from Denver for my surgery. However, I felt my parents were there - I know they were.

God bless you with a successful surgery and a smooth recovery! Yes, you will be on the other side at this time next week and before you know it 10 weeks will have passed - the time does go very fast, believe it or not!

Christina L.

 

[Marvin]

Bill

When we were allowed to go in and see Marvin before he was taken down to the operating room the first thing he said to the kids and me was that he didnt have a hair left on his body after they shaved him. Then he was wisked away. Just wanted to let you know that we will be praying for you and hope that you have a speedy recovery. We will be waiting to hear an update on you. Get plenty of rest if you can these next few days.