Still blue, are you?

[SASKIA]

I just wanted to know how you were / are feeling 9 months after surgery... It has been this long for me and I have come such a long way and in many ways feel very good (definitely much better than before), but I feel so sad now, an underlying sadness all the time that has been there since surgery.

I'm an acupuncturist trained in Traditional Chinese Medicine and in my training we learned that the heart is the centre of one's emotional wellbeing, so if there is anything wrong with it, or it is tampered with, emotions will be effected. I have been doing all the things I can to keep upbeat: walking helps, talking to friends about it, thinking positively, but I often feel like I am sitting behind a window watching others go by.

I have been working with a grief counsellor for the past three months and she says it is natural to feel like this after such a major surgery which of course body and mind sees as a traumatic event and it takes time to recover from.

I just wanted to know your thoughts and experiences and if you have felt similar.

Thanks,

Saskia

 

[Bill B]

I can't say I've been depressed. I'm having a little trouble getting myself going on daily tasks and projects, but that may be just a reaction to retiring as well. However, depression after OHS is pretty common. Here's an earlier thread on the same subject.

http://www.valvereplacement.org/forums/showthread.php?215-Depression

 

[dick0236]

I have been working with a grief counsellor for the past three months and she says it is natural to feel like this after such a major surgery which of course body and mind sees as a traumatic event and it takes time to recover from.

I believe that the emotional upheavall after this type of major surgery is very real and recieves too little attention. I had much more difficulty accepting the surgery AFTERWARDS, when the reality sank in. In my opinion, mental health counseling may be more important after the surgery than cardiac rehab, yet I seldom see anyone post about such services. I applaude those who can sense a problem and get help from professionals or support sites like this.....or both. The six inches between our ears takes more time too heal than the "zipper" down our chest.

 

[Nancy]

This happens to a lot of heart surgery patients. So you are not alone. I am not sure if anyone really knows the "why" of it. It is probably a combination of the trauma of the surgery, the long recovery and some of the medications used after surgery.

My own husband had clinical depression. He was on Paxil and it made all the difference to him. It lifted his mood, made him able to enjoy life and improved his quality of life. And because he felt better emotionally, he stayed healthier longer.

I'm not sure that heart surgery people with this problem can just pull themselves out of this alone. And I am not even sure if cognitive therapy helps all that much. I do know that anti depressants do work.

I think in the case of heart surgery patients, it is not entirely emotional and that it is largely a physical thing, with perhaps some emotionality.

Life is way too short to let this problem ruin your life and prevent you from participating in the fun things in life again. I highly recommend that you speak frankly with your doctor about the problem. There is no shame in this problem. It is beyond your help.

If you search on this site for depression, you will find a ton of posts about it.

 

[Michelle D]

I'm just becoming blue. I'm 3 weeks out and posting from the ER. I'm tired and frustrated. A-fib, anemia, plueral effusion and pericardial effusion are really getting to me. I hope one day I'll be normal. I was more than prepared for the surgery itself but not at all for the aftermath. I feel like this has been a soul sucking experience.

 

[kfay]

Depression is very common after heart surgery. I'm sure with your training you might not be too inclined to seek out an antidepressant, but, short term, you may find that it helps you get back on track. Hang in there, it will get better.

 

[Lily]

...but I feel so sad now, an underlying sadness all the time that has been there since surgery.

I'm an acupuncturist trained in Traditional Chinese Medicine and in my training we learned that the heart is the centre of one's emotional wellbeing, so if there is anything wrong with it, or it is tampered with, emotions will be effected. I have been doing all the things I can to keep upbeat: walking helps, talking to friends about it, thinking positively, but I often feel like I am sitting behind a window watching others go by.

I have been working with a grief counsellor for the past three months and she says it is natural to feel like this after such a major surgery which of course body and mind sees as a traumatic event and it takes time to recover from.

I just wanted to know your thoughts and experiences and if you have felt similar...

Hi Saskia. I think it made me feel different for a long time, maybe still. I wonder if some of that could be because I'm sometimes overly sensitive to how my friends view me; I can't quite explain that correctly to you but it's something I think contributes to how I feel. And I think there can be some PTS (post traumatic stress) issues for us too. We all went into that OHS surgery not knowing if we'd wake up afterward. That's a scary thing. And another thing is that many feel the heart is the seat of our emotions as you mentioned; and I have wondered how literal that might be. Also, you know that meds and herbs can also affect our emotions. Consider if that could possibly be an issue for you. Write again. Hoping you feel better

 

[SASKIA]

Thanks for all your replies. I am taking St Johns Wort, perhaps not strong enough but all I feel really comfortable taking at this stage. I do feel it works well for me, sometimes it takes a few weeks to build up in my system. I still feel like I am coping with all the drugs I was given during and immediately after the surgery.

I'm so grateful to have had the surgery, I'm 26 years old and most likely would not even be alive now without it, as I deteriorated so quickly at the time. That is what I worry; that people think I am feeling sorry for myself, which I am really not (well, only on the really bad days! ) I am certainly finding it useful to speak with a counsellor - I never have before, and I'm not sure I would like a therapist or similar, analysing everything I say, but all my counsellor does is listen and gently suggest things that might help. No analysis, no guilt, just offering understanding.

I think it is also grief for the life I used to have (before I got sick) - going out with friends, working fulltime (can't believe I'd miss that), earning a decent income. Since the surgery I have had frequent migraine headaches. I'm on medication for these which helps but doesn't stop them completely, and this all contributes to the feeling of having a very different life now.

I guess it does all take time. Thanks for all the kind words and advice, and for all of you who feel the same, I really would recommend a (kind) counsellor and some kind of antidepressants - I just prefer the most natural kind.

 

[Eva]

I just wanted to know how you were / are feeling 9 months after surgery... It has been this long for me and I have come such a long way and in many ways feel very good (definitely much better than before), but I feel so sad now, an underlying sadness all the time that has been there since surgery.

I'm an acupuncturist trained in Traditional Chinese Medicine and in my training we learned that the heart is the centre of one's emotional wellbeing, so if there is anything wrong with it, or it is tampered with, emotions will be effected. I have been doing all the things I can to keep upbeat: walking helps, talking to friends about it, thinking positively, but I often feel like I am sitting behind a window watching others go by.

I have been working with a grief counsellor for the past three months and she says it is natural to feel like this after such a major surgery which of course body and mind sees as a traumatic event and it takes time to recover from.

I just wanted to know your thoughts and experiences and if you have felt similar.

Thanks,

Saskia

Yes, Saskia. I am, and I am going through it NOW! As all said above, it is very common to go through depression after such a big surgery.

In my case, right after the surgery, I was in a *euphoric* state for four months:biggrin2:. I was so happy the surgery was over after a very long time of anxious waiting ... was happy that the quality of my life will improve from that point on, etc.

But, as of last October, I became forgetful, lethargic, unable to think or concentrate. I wanted to pick myself up on my own...it was not easy. So, I decided to accepted my PCP's recommendation to take 10 mgs of Prozac, which I started three weeks ago.

Wow! I am happy that I did...I already feel a big improvement.

Good luck and keep us posted.:smile2:

 

[Philip B]

Welcone to...

Welcone to...

Welcome to post traumatic stress disorder. Yes, as others have indicated, it's common after OHS.

It got me despite my quick recovery from the surgery and speedy rehab. I initially thought I could beat it on my own once I knew what it was, but I needed some meds for about six months.

-Philip

 

[AgilityDog]

Xanax is my friend, after surgery, as well as before. I don't think I'd be able to sleep at night right now without it. 1 week out today. well, at 7 pm today or thereabouts.

 

[Michelle D]

It's probably to early to say I'm depressed but I'm definetly traumatized. My husband is going into his second year of grad school for counseling, I start in October. I think personally 75% of my anguish is mental. I'm not in much pain anymore, I'm just scared, I'm afraid of another a-fib episode, I'm in disbelief of what was done to me, I'm feeling pretty upset that I can't do my favorite things that help me relax like bubble baths or going to the beach. I'm at the hospital now for afib and I'm terrified of going home "what if I get a-fib again!?!". This surgery though life saving and a marvel of science, it is extremely traumatizing and we all should have mental rehab pushed on us just as much as cardio rehab. They should have counselors by your bedside after surgery. My life as I once knew it has disappeared to be replaced with one of fear and sacrifice. I'm making an appointment with a counselor as soon as I get out of here.

 

[Eva]

I believe that the emotional upheavall after this type of major surgery is very real and recieves too little attention. ..........
......... In my opinion, mental health counseling may be more important after the surgery than cardiac rehab, yet I seldom see anyone post about such services. ............. The six inches between our ears takes more time too heal than the "zipper" down our chest.

.............. I think personally 75% of my anguish is mental. I'm not in much pain anymore, I'm just scared, I'm afraid of another a-fib episode, I'm in disbelief of what was done to me, I'm feeling pretty upset that I can't do my favorite things that help me relax like bubble baths or going to the beach. I'm at the hospital now for afib and I'm terrified of going home "what if I get a-fib again!?!". ............... it is extremely traumatizing and we all should have mental rehab pushed on us just as much as cardio rehab. They should have counselors by your bedside after surgery. My life as I once knew it has disappeared to be replaced with one of fear and sacrifice. I'm making an appointment with a counselor as soon as I get out of here.

I totallly agree with **** and you. It is a great idea if hospitals offer such a service after any major surgery, at least to those who are fragile and know they need this help.

How about suggesting this to the Heads of Surgical departments at hospitals or ? Great idea!

 

[buncle]

Ohs is probably the hardest surgery to mentally accept and "get over".I mean after all they did cut our heart open.My body healed faster than my mind.It has gotten alot better but the mental part is a real part of the healing.I think everyone feels it to one degree or another.Remember we are still alive for a reason!

 

[prdraper1]

Depression

Depression

I just wanted to know how you were / are feeling 9 months after surgery... It has been this long for me and I have come such a long way and in many ways feel very good (definitely much better than before), but I feel so sad now, an underlying sadness all the time that has been there since surgery.

I'm an acupuncturist trained in Traditional Chinese Medicine and in my training we learned that the heart is the centre of one's emotional wellbeing, so if there is anything wrong with it, or it is tampered with, emotions will be effected. I have been doing all the things I can to keep upbeat: walking helps, talking to friends about it, thinking positively, but I often feel like I am sitting behind a window watching others go by.

I have been working with a grief counsellor for the past three months and she says it is natural to feel like this after such a major surgery which of course body and mind sees as a traumatic event and it takes time to recover from.

I just wanted to know your thoughts and experiences and if you have felt similar.

Thanks,

Saskia

A really good thread. I keep telling myself to be positive and think how lucky I am. I too get down days, mainly brought on by a long lasting family problem living in the USA. I thought it was just me who gets episodes like this, I really don't ever seem to be able to relax and some of my old hobbies and pastimes I have had difficulty getting back into.
I thank God every day for not calling me in after I was so very close to death.
I will mention this to my medical people the next time I get chance.
Best wishes.
Patrick

 

[Mentu]

Depression comes with the territory.

Depression comes with the territory.

Saskia, before my valve replacement 11 months ago, my family Doctor talked with me about this very issue. Since I experienced depression after my Father died, she felt that I was likely to have a similar experience following surgery. My Doctor did two things. She recommended that I begin taking an antidepressant before surgery and that I read the book:

Coping With Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression: A Family's Guide to the Medical, Emotional, and Practical Issues by Carol Cohan, & June B. Pimm & James R. Jude

As things have developed, I did become depressed some weeks after a very successful surgery but it has not grown into the dark cloud that I experienced several years ago. This can be dealt with and should be addressed because it can seriously interfere with one's recovery. You are certainly not alone, Saskia, in your experience. Take care.

Larry

 

[Julieaka]

Thanks all for sharing - and definitely there is depression, anxiety or trauma - at different levels and handled differently by everyone - they gave me anti anxiety drugs in the hospital..... since then i had more depression (week 7 particularly - I was ready for the other weeks but that one got me - nothing was good enough/fast enough for me that week) and I am still battling arrythmia's and a wierd cough - so feel like I am still fighting

I also agree with the other comments- I had not accepted that I was a heart patient until AFTER this surgery - mentally I have to jump that hurdle

truly this forum helps with all of these - just knowing you are not alone and knowing all the "little hurdles" are also being jumped by others - or in fact, they are jumping higher ones!

take good care - I also believe greatly in Tai Chi and ancient arts of healing - they work!

 

[Luckyguy17]

Yeah, interesting thread, well dogonit, I thought i was unique in experiencing what i would also call the blues, no reason for it in my mind as i have had a very rapid and bump free OHS recovery

But post OHS blues as a common occurance, this is news to me and good again for the forum, as I was not prepped for the possibility of this.

In my case it may be strange but the blues/blahs can basically be summarized as a "Is that all there is" mindset, which tends to have a short timeframe, as I look for a distraction to get out of that frame of mind when it hits me. Since returning to work, my fuse is a little short and am possibly less diplomatic and tolerant than in past...more selfish.

My current strategy to better cope and ride through this current is increased physical activity, better longer sleep cycle, better nutrition and giving it time.

It is my understanding that there may as much 1/3 of adults, on anti depressants, I will try and stay off those if i can, it does seem manageable at this time.

Gil

 

[Michelle D]

Not only am I blue but also very anxious. My surgeon and cardiologist think I'll never need to go through with this again but what if they are wrong? Hopefully time will allow me to forget this, I can't imagine having to go through this again. I feel inundated with fear and anxiety. I'm only 28 years old so I have many years ahead of me in which something can go wrong. I'm going to shop for a therapist this week, I need help and that is obvious but I'm going to avoid adding any additional drugs to my regimen.

 

[dick0236]

Not only am I blue but also very anxious. My surgeon and cardiologist think I'll never need to go through with this again but what if they are wrong? Hopefully time will allow me to forget this, I can't imagine having to go through this again. I feel inundated with fear and anxiety. I'm only 28 years old so I have many years ahead of me in which something can go wrong. I'm going to shop for a therapist this week, I need help and that is obvious but I'm going to avoid adding any additional drugs to my regimen.

Michelle, for me, playing the "what if" game proved to be a total waste of time. Support sites, like this one, will be invaluable to you......just remember to be careful of "information overload". I think that spending some time with a "knowledgable and qualified" counselar is a positive move.