Some of you have asked for a new pic of my grandson

[Karlynn]

When my husband got a transfer back to Texas, we lived with my parents for 3 weeks while I was looking for a job and trying to decide where we were going to live (Houston is a big city!). I was 29, married, and had a 9 month old. If we were going out to eat, shopping, or anything else, we told my parents where we were going and an approximate time that we would be home. I also helped with cooking and laundry. Mom had a maid, but we still cleaned up after ourselves because it was the right thing to do. You and Lyn need to tell him that he either pays his way with cash or with sweat equity. The longer you let his irresponsibility go on, the harder it will be to change.

I gotta agree. If you're letting Chris be an unpaid boarder (in cash or trade), you're just enabling the continuation of his irresponsible behavior. Sounds like it's past time for a "come to Jesus" meeting on what he needs to start doing around the house and with his life. Or you'll give him a hot plate and he can have the garage.

I think it's hard for adult children to not slip back into adolescent behavior at home when they move back in. It's habit. Who wouldn't want to get a free place to live with no responsibilities?

 

[Ross]

I gotta agree. If you're letting Chris be an unpaid boarder (in cash or trade), you're just enabling the continuation of his irresponsible behavior. Sounds like it's past time for a "come to Jesus" meeting on what he needs to start doing around the house and with his life. Or you'll give him a hot plate and he can have the garage.

I think it's hard for adult children to not slip back into adolescent behavior at home when they move back in. It's habit. Who wouldn't want to get a free place to live with no responsibilities?

We've been there and done all that already. It's time for take a crap or get off the pot, if you know what I mean.

We did that with the oldest. As soon as he turned 18, he pretty much said screw you. Mom put his stuff outside and said, bye. I'm not sure I want to go that route again, but then something has got to be done. I told him that part of the conditions of him living here is to help out, get enrolled in college and become employable again. 6 months of riding him now and still no action.

 

[swim mom]

I feel for you. My 37 year old brother dropped out of college 9 credits short of graduating. Now he lives with my parents and has been unemployed for years. He tells us "nobody wants a 37 year old disabled veteran to work for them". We suggest he can at least work at McDonalds, Burger King, or something like that. The frustrating and maybe partly humorous thing is we help support my parents and therefore him but my husband is older and has a significantly higher disability rating than my whining brother! My parents are going to be here next week for my daughters graduation so my husband is going to talk to my dad ( much better received than when it comes from me). I think he needs some backbone support?!?! Unfortunately they create some of their own disability and helplessness that just snowballs because it is easier.

 

[Karlynn]

We've been there and done all that already. It's time for take a crap or get off the pot, if you know what I mean.

We did that with the oldest. As soon as he turned 18, he pretty much said screw you. Mom put his stuff outside and said, bye. I'm not sure I want to go that route again, but then something has got to be done. I told him that part of the conditions of him living here is to help out, get enrolled in college and become employable again. 6 months of riding him now and still no action.

It's really easy to give advice. I feel for you and Lyn and your predicament.

 

[ShezaGirlie]

6 months of riding him now and still no action.

Ross, like that old Wolf Brand Chili commercial..."how long since you've had a bowl of Wolf Brand Chili"? Well, that's toooooo long..

 

[Bina]

Dr. Phil had a show last year on adult children living with parents. Sometimes it can work out fine, but mostly it doesn't.
Families fail to do the most important thing: Make a plan....put it in writing.....sign it.
Example: What do you expect from the child and in how much time.
Then follow through on deadlines and consequences to avoid feeling used or taken advantage of.
It ain't easy. Best wishes.

 

[Tbone]

Yes I do enjoy it when he's around. Lyn on the other hand, wants to have her weekends to herself with no one around, so it's often a battle on whether he's here or not. Her and I got into it about the situation. She feels it's more use and abuse by Chris towards us, then being a matter of seeing her grandson. I see her point in some ways, but I'm happy to see the kid at all and really don't care when it is. Sometimes I don't understand the female of the specie.

We male humans also have that trouble! You are not alone.

 

[Eva]

So cute, Ross. May God bless him and protect him always.

 

[Cris N]

Are you suggesting I take his key away?

Your house, your rules. I'd go for it.

 

[Glenda]

Ross haven't you figured out by now that you will never understand women! I do see where Lynn is coming from. When my younger grandchildren come over I'm always ready for them to go home. I love them dearly but they literally drive me crazy. They are not very respectful of things and I don't dare correct them in front of their mother. She would never bring them back. My son wouldn't care but she is something esle. I think sometimes she looks for reasons to keep them from us. They are so good when they are by themselves with us but when their parents are with them they are wild!!

Your grandson is adorable!

 

[Curtsmum]

Your grandson is very cute, i wan't one

 

[gijanet]

He's adorable, Ross, and yeah, kids do tend to be clutzy......God you ought to see Katie's legs. Hugs. J.

 

[marie]

Ross he is a cutie. Good luck with Chris. Believe me when I say I feel your pain
Earline