G
geebee
Thought you might have some chuckles over these:
KIDS IN CHURCH
1. A little boy was in a relative's Wedding. As he was coming down the
aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing
the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went-step,
step, ROAR; step, step, ROAR; all the way down the aisle. As you can
imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he
reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing the child sniffed and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear."
2. One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the
morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of
order in the pew, but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the
little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle. On his way out just before
reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the
congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
3. One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets,
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
4. A little boy was overhead praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
5. A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on their
way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One
bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
6. The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,
he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then
he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping
before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in
the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose,
will he hurt us?"
7. Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his
big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of
the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're
hushers."
8. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how
you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked,"No, how
are we alike?" "You're both old." He replied.
9. A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite
knowledgeable about the Bible. Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by
asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King
James Virgin?"
10. I had been teaching my three-year-old daughter, Caitlin, The Lord's
Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines
from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as
she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer "Lead
us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
11. A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The
boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw
the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would
say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait'" Kevin turned to
his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."
12. A Sunday School class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready
to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it
was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the
covers off the neighbor's wife."
KIDS IN CHURCH
1. A little boy was in a relative's Wedding. As he was coming down the
aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing
the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went-step,
step, ROAR; step, step, ROAR; all the way down the aisle. As you can
imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he
reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing the child sniffed and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear."
2. One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the
morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of
order in the pew, but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the
little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle. On his way out just before
reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the
congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
3. One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets,
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
4. A little boy was overhead praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
5. A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on their
way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One
bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
6. The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,
he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then
he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping
before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in
the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose,
will he hurt us?"
7. Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his
big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of
the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're
hushers."
8. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how
you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked,"No, how
are we alike?" "You're both old." He replied.
9. A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite
knowledgeable about the Bible. Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by
asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King
James Virgin?"
10. I had been teaching my three-year-old daughter, Caitlin, The Lord's
Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines
from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as
she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer "Lead
us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
11. A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The
boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw
the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would
say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait'" Kevin turned to
his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."
12. A Sunday School class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready
to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it
was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the
covers off the neighbor's wife."
, crawl under from the foot of the bed
