Hi, I would try to stop worrying, I am in the same boat, diagnosed BAV, no regurg (trivial), no stenosis, and only a 4.2cm sinus of valsalva dilation, and 4.0cm sinotubular junction with sinus effacement. Cardiologists around the world say the same thing, that this will take some time to enlarge, many years - if at all. But the probability is that surgery will be inevitible.
You're probably suffering from anxiety, same like me, and this makes your thoughts irrational, like, what if it enlarges at no time, or what if I need surgery and won't make it! However, remember these:
1. Cardiologists and professionals are not going to tell you to wait, or to try to put it into perspective and ignore it for now, if something needs urgent attention. A) In america they get paid by your insurance, not like here in UK, it's free service (here in UK they told me to put my situation into perspective and B) you can sue them for loads of money if they do or tell you something wrong.
2. The aorta is not as fragile as you think it is, it's a very robust strong vessel, that takes alot of pressure from daily activities. Have you ever took an aorta out from a pig at school? It's tough and strong! Or chewed a beef and you find a piece of vein ? No matter how much you chew it, you will never break it! True, us BAV's might have a weaker then normal aorta, which does increase our risk by around twice the normal for dissection or tear, but bear in mind that the normal risk is extremley low anyways, and at your size up till it reaches a certain size, the risk is negligible (Unless you have family history, or Marfans) - also, you are being monitored, so forget about this risk, just take care of yourself, no heavy weight lifting (not only bad for you, but bad for everyone) but otherwise, you should have no restrictions.
3. Surgery is nothing to worry about, today they perform thousands of surgeries per year, literally thousands, and only 2% mortality rate, of which you don't know their history, how old they are etc. So yes, it can be scary if you think about it too much, but most of everyone that needs surgery, do just fine - the scary thing is the lack of knowledge about all this.
4. 2% of the population have this condition, and some of them does not even know they have this condition, or if they need surgery, most of everyone do just fine.
5. Anything posted on the internet is going to err on the legal side of things, therefore, be very careful what you read, scattered pieces of information, and lack of medical knowledge will leave you extremley anxious for nothing, just follow your cardiologist advise, he have years of experience, not to tell you lies.
Speak with your wife, if any, she could be of comfort to you, and I strongly suggest you do like I'm doing, go to a psychiatrist and a cognitive behaviour therapy, and get some help, I take cipralex daily to help me with my obsession compulsive disorder (Reading too much on the internet about my condition) and a low dose of clonazepam to help me eliminating anxiety attacks, which makes my chest pressure, heart races etc, which does not do good for my brain.
Try to relax, and enjoy life and follow the advise that your professionals are given you, and talk to your family, there is nothing to hide, this is not something that's going to kill you! + Remember, probably every person in this world have some sort of defect inside them some are discovered, some are not yet discovered! Your condition is manageable, and treated successfully if it goes bad!!
God Bless.
