Questions you've always wanted to ask.......???

[njean]

Norma....God bless you ....you have help us locate our cousin Boaz.....he has been missing for several weeks......He wandered away from the exclusive care center "ShimpShimpSheree" in Ft Lauderdale......He has needed full time care every since the tragic circus accident when he filled in for the guy that gets shot out of the canon ....we begged him not to do it but that's the kind of monk he is....a team player....the folks at the home are thrilled to have him home....he calls the numbers on bingo night .....again, many thanks.

No thanks necessary Cooker! Thought I saw a resemblance --- glad I helped you find your "homie!"

 

[Lisa in Katy]

Back on track you hijackers!!!!

Why don't fish and other water animals get electrocuted when lightning strikes the water?

Why can't we tickle ourselves?

If flammable means that it can burn, what does inflammable mean?

 

[Lisa in Katy]

There's another one that goes along with your toast.

If you tied a piece of toast to the back of a cat, buttered side up, and then pushed the cat off a table, how would it land?

 

[Bonzo Dog]

There's another one that goes along with your toast.

If you tied a piece of toast to the back of a cat, buttered side up, and then pushed the cat off a table, how would it land?

......so......strap some buttered jammy toast, jam side up, to the back of a cat..... then push the cat off the table. The conflict of the toast trying to land jam side down and the cat trying to land on its feet will result in a perpetual spin hovering a short distance above the ground.


Like this............

 

[Bonzo Dog]

Back on track you hijackers!!!!

Why don't fish and other water animals get electrocuted when lightning strikes the water?

It seems they do

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_do_fish_not_get_'fried'_when_lightning_strikes

 

[Karlynn]

Norma....God bless you ....you have help us locate our cousin Boaz.....he has been missing for several weeks......He wandered away from the exclusive care center "ShimpShimpSheree" in Ft Lauderdale......He has needed full time care every since the tragic circus accident when he filled in for the guy that gets shot out of the canon ....we begged him not to do it but that's the kind of monk he is....a team player....the folks at the home are thrilled to have him home....he calls the numbers on bingo night .....again, many thanks.

I'm glad I didn't have a full bladder when I read this.

It's clear to me that VR is actually a cover for MENSA. (If you're unsure of what that is, google "mensa international")

Okay here's one that actually has a legit answer. It was asked by my son when he was in Junior High. These types of questions came to be known as "Derek-isms" in our family. And he didn't know there was an actual answer to this question.

Has anyone ever, in any war ever, gotten hit in the (slang for testicles) by a cannon ball?

(He asked this right after asking if we thought there were an even or an odd number of blades of grass in the world.)

 

[Bonzo Dog]

Has anyone ever, in any war ever, gotten hit in the (slang for testicles) by a cannon ball?

Don't know but these foolish youths are running a similar experiment http://youtube.com/watch?v=oUeOVOG3oEk&feature=related

 

[ShezaGirlie]

See the tractor in the garage???

See the tractor in the garage???

The sheep must have all been sent to market......

 

[njean]

I just want to know:

"what happens to all the missing socks in the clothes dryer?" "Is there a "sock heaven" I don't know about?????

 

[Karlynn]

I just want to know:

"what happens to all the missing socks in the clothes dryer?" "Is there a "sock heaven" I don't know about?????

The one thing I haven't been able to get my family to understand is that BOTH socks need to make it into the hamper if they are to both come out of the dryer!

I know everyone is holding their breath for the answer to the canon ball question.

Yes - Casimir Pulaski died from the wound he received from a canon ball shot to "that area", while fighting in the Revolutionary War. Illinois now has an official holiday for his birthday. Chicago schools frequently have the day off.

(And my son did not know about Casimir when he asked the question.)

 

[Bonzo Dog]

I just want to know:

"what happens to all the missing socks in the clothes dryer?" "Is there a "sock heaven" I don't know about?????

Where do all the odds socks go?
It drives me to despair.
No matter how I wash the things
One goes to, who knows where?

Ten socks inside a pillowcase
And all of them are mine.
I pull them out once they are washed
To count them. Yep. There's nine!

What is it with these wash machines?
I wish that it would stop.
So many socks I've lost in there
I could have filled a shop.

And why just socks for heaven sake?
It simply goes too far
I never lose a shirt, or vest,
nor underpants or bra.

Could the thing be eating them?
No. Somehow I think not.
Nor is it some strange payment
Like a laundermat type slot.

I wonder what would happen
If so sad a day will come
That in the wash machine I put
Not two socks - only one?

And if I sit by that machine
And Guard it like a sentry
Would I be surprised to find
The metal barrel empty?

Oh where do all the odd socks go?
I'll never understand
The only way I'll keep them all
Is wash the things by hand!

Shane Ward

 

[njean]

The one thing I haven't been able to get my family to understand is that BOTH socks need to make it into the hamper if they are to both come out of the dryer!

I know everyone is holding their breath for the answer to the canon ball question.

Yes - Casimir Pulaski died from the wound he received from a canon ball shot to "that area", while fighting in the Revolutionary War. Illinois now has an official holiday for his birthday. Chicago schools frequently have the day off.

(And my son did not know about Casimir when he asked the question.)

Okay, so is the name of the holiday, "No ***** Pulaski" day???

 

[Curtsmum]

Pretty cool poem there Bonzo Dog but would that be the Shane Ward who won the x factor

 

[Bonzo Dog]

Pretty cool poem there Bonzo Dog but would that be the Shane Ward who won the x factor

Didn't follow X factor, so I can't be sure, they do look like same named different guys tho.

 

[njean]

Where do all the odds socks go?
It drives me to despair.
No matter how I wash the things
One goes to, who knows where?

Ten socks inside a pillowcase
And all of them are mine.
I pull them out once they are washed
To count them. Yep. There's nine!

What is it with these wash machines?
I wish that it would stop.
So many socks I've lost in there
I could have filled a shop.

And why just socks for heaven sake?
It simply goes too far
I never lose a shirt, or vest,
nor underpants or bra.

Could the thing be eating them?
No. Somehow I think not.
Nor is it some strange payment
Like a laundermat type slot.

I wonder what would happen
If so sad a day will come
That in the wash machine I put
Not two socks - only one?

And if I sit by that machine
And Guard it like a sentry
Would I be surprised to find
The metal barrel empty?

Oh where do all the odd socks go?
I'll never understand
The only way I'll keep them all
Is wash the things by hand!

Shane Ward

Neat poem -- I like that!

One time a "missing sock" was stuck to the outside of my husband's sweat pants & when he walked it looked like a "swishing tail!" I'll never forget that --- thank goodness he hadn't gone anywhere & it happened while he was at home.

 

[Curtsmum]

Didn't follow X factor, so I can't be sure, they do look like same named different guys tho.

Woops my mistake i missed out the y. x factor winner Shayne Ward

lol Norma, that could have been so embarrising.

 

[Cooker]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Is the Department of Redundancy Department redundant ?

 

[gadgetman]

Simple minds haf simple quesshuns.













WHY??












Simple answer (MOMMA INVENTED THIS ONE OUT OF DESPERATION)








BECAUSE



(sometimes expan'ed t' BECAUSE ah SAID SO!!! fo' emphasis)

Bubba

 

[marie]

My Mom would say "Because I'm the Mom and you're the little girl" Boy I hated that answer and of course my answer was "I can't wait to be the Mom" Be careful what you wish for.
Earline

 

[hensylee]

did your children ever figure out that you don't have eyes in the back of your head. Mine were nearly grown..................