Our Time Has Come! I'm Scared!!!

[vero1]

Hi All, as you all might remember I posted my husband was having breast bone area pain and wasn't supposed to have AV replacement surgery until around 3 weeks from now, well yesterday he didn't feel well at all and I took him to emergency room friday night, they ran the CT scan he needed done again, because in the first one no die was injected, anyway they kept him overnight and today the cardiologist told us it was best if we had him transferred to Hollywood for scheduling of surgery around tue, wed or thurs. So here I am at home with my 4 year old little boy, scared out of my wits. I love my husband with all of my heart and I hated to leave him at the hospital by himself all the way in Hollywood (30 minutes away from home). I'm sorry but we need all of the prayers we can get and all the support. Genaro Martinez is my wonderful husbands name and he is 31 years old. Thank you all for your help in advance,
Veronica.

 

[WendyD]

You will be in our thoughts.

You will be in our thoughts.

Dear Veronica,
I know how helpless you must be feeling right now. I was a nervous wreck before my husband's op 11 days ago, it's a mixture of trying to stay calm, absolute panic,getting very weepy and trying to stay strong and in control.
I knew when I saw Ernie afterwards in intensive care,that he was going to be hooked up to all sorts of drips, drains,catheters & other pipes, so I geared myself up before going in & it wasn't so much of a shock.
Before you know it, it will all be over and you will be letting us all know how much better Genaro is.
We send you and your family all our good wishes, for Genaro's speedy recovery, look after yourself
Kindest Regards
Ernie & Wendy.

 

[Ross]

What did the catscan reveal this time?

 

[Nancy]

Hi Veronica-

Like Ross, I too am wondering what the cat scan showed that made them decide to operate sooner, and keep him in the hospital.

I can tell you, as a spouse who has seen my husband go through way too many thoracic surgeries, the anxiety will not go away until the operation is over with and recovery is going along well. It's just a scary time. But the prospect of having Genaro all fixed up will get you through all this. Try to project beyond this time, into the future when he will be feeling much better and you will be returning to a more normal life. The time will come, and this will be all in the past.

Stay with us during this difficult time, tell Genaro we're keeping him in our thoughts, and please let us know how things go for the both of you.

God Bless.

 

[Karlynn]

Veronica,
You have my prayers and best wishes for you husband as well as you and your son.

Ask lots of questions and don't be afraid to question anything you are concerned about. Be your husbands medical advocate, and encourage him to be "active" in his treatment. In otherwords, think that you both are on the treatment team with the doctors and not just abiding by what the doctors are telling you must be done. This isn't because I think that they aren't doing what should be done, but doing this will help you feel less helpless.

Keep us posted.

 

[vero1]

Thank you.

Thank you.

To answer your question Ross, the cat scan just showed that the valve is very deteriorated and they where afraid I guess of an anuerysm but thank god, that dosen't seem to be the case. On Friday my husband had tightness of the chest and alot of lightheadedness, as soon as they put Nitro patch he started feeling better, I think they just thought it would be safer to keep him in observation and just get this thing over with. Suppose to talk to surgeons tomorrow. thank you all for your support, you don't know how much it means to me right now. Love, Veronica.

 

[Gemma]

Veronica,
My heart goes out to you - I remember all too well how scared I was the night before Jim's operation when he was in the hospital (a 45 minute drive away) and I was all alone not knowing what would happen. It's a horrible feeling but try if you can to do as Nancy suggested and look forward to a week or so in the future when Genaro will be home with you and on the road to recovery. Also Karlynn's advice is very wise - I do think that seeing yourself and Genaro as team players in his recovery along with the doctors and nurses helps a lot, and will help in future negotiations, not just this surgery. I'm a lot more forthright than I was prior to Jim's op for sure!
Please keep us posted on what's happening - you know how we worry and take care of yourself as well - the first week or so Genaro is out of hospital may well be quite tiring what with looking after your son and running round after Genaro.
Love,
Gemma.

 

[bvdr]

Veronica,

You and your husband will be in my heart and prayers. If it has to be done anyway then I think the sooner the better so recovery can get underway. I always am more anxious when something involves my husband rather than me. I hate to see him go through anything really tough...I guess that is what loves does. If you stress the part that the problem is your husband's heart and the operation is the fix then it may make it a little less scary for your little boy. I'm sending love and hugs your way.

 

[vero1]

Will keep you posted Thank you!

Will keep you posted Thank you!

I just left my husband at the hospital again, and again I'm devastated. somehow I know that he's gonna be ok, but there's always that little voice inside of me telling me what if he isn't? you know what I mean. I suffer from anxiety/depression and this whole ordeal is really setting off my symptoms and I can't afford it I need to be strong for Genaro. They told him today that surgery might be as soon as Tuesday or Wednesday. Thank you again for all of your support. Sincerely, Veronica.

 

[Nancy]

Veronica-

I guess the only way I could get through all of Joe's surgeries and other things was to focus almost entirely on his problems and what I could do to help him. I did allow myself some small amount of time to worry about me, but I mainly kept focused on his needs and doing whatever I could to help him through.

That even meant that I would do my best to look nice when I went to the hospital, and even when there were medical problems and he was having difficulties, I would wipe the worried look off my face and walk in with a smile, the morning newspaper, a cup of coffee, if he was allowed, and either a small joke or gossip from the neighborhood, keep it light and "fluffy". I'd see if he needed any kind of personal care, maybe a hair comb, back rub or freshing up, whatever would help him feel better, possibly go for a walk with him down the hall. In other words, try to keep his life as normal as possible, and not make him feel like an invalid.

When I got home, I would focus on what I had to do around the house, and then think about what I would do for him the next day. I tried to put the scary thoughts way on the back burner, and like Scarlet O'Hara in "Gone With the Wind", "fiddle-dee-dee, I'll worry about that tomorrow".

The theory here is that if you spend so much time obsessing about the bad things, and they never happen, you will have wasted all that time, when you could have done something nice for yourself, your children and Genaro.

Just keep focusing on the future, jumping over this rough spot into the light of the time when Genaro will be healing and feeling better, and he can do all his normal activities again.

Focus-focus-focus on the task at hand.

Here is my list of things that you could bring to the hospital for YOU on the day of surgery.

A nice little canvas or other carry bag with handles-something sturdy that can be laundered.
Crossword puzzle book or other thing that could help to pass the time
Prepaid calling card if needed to call long distance
Roll of quarters for vending machines
Pkg. of Altoids or other strong mints (mouth can get dry when you are nervous)
Small bottle of mouthwash
Imodium (I was glad I had that!)
Small pkg. of Tums
Aspirin, Advil or other headache remedy
Some hard candies
A neck roll pillow, like those used for traveling
A small throw, nerves can make you cold
A pad and pencil
A list of important phone numbers
Pkg. of hand wipes or baby wipes
Small bottle of Purell
Small pkg. of Kleenex
Travel size hand lotion
Lip balm

Also, take a notepad and both you and Genaro make a little set of drawings indicating things like,
find the nurse
have to go potty
my mouth is dry
my lips are dry
I Love You
your surgery went very well

and you can come up with your own things

This will be helpful when Genaro isn't able to talk to you while in the ICU. He can point to the drawings.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

On Friday my husband had tightness of the chest and alot of lightheadedness, as soon as they put Nitro patch he started feeling better, I think they just thought it would be safer to keep him in observation and just get this thing over with. Love, Veronica.

Veronica -

Has he had a heart catheterization?

If NOT, he probably should have one BEFORE surgery
to check for blocked arteries that may need either angioplasty (and possible stent) or Bypass Surgery which can be performed at the same time as his Valve Replacement. Nitroglycerin is used to 'open up' clogged arteries so if he responded well to it, that would suggest his arteries should be examined.

'AL Capshaw' (Bypass and AVR survivor)

 

[vero1]

Thank you!!!!!!!

Thank you!!!!!!!

Thank you Nancy!!! I will take all your suggestions, to answer your question Al, yes Genaro did have an angiogram in January that showed all of his arteries were ok, the doctor said that because the valve is so tight sometimes the blood flow slows down and causes the lightheadedness. I'm going to the hospital right now. Thank you all for all of your support, you have no idea how much you are helping us. Thank you. Love, Veronica.

 

[Barry]

I went in to congestive heart failure three or so years ago and went in to have my mitral valve replaced with a St. Jude's. Weird part is that my friends & family members were far more worried about it than I was. Don't know the stats (does someone here?) but the survival rate for valve replacement therapy is very high - and computation of that rate includes folks getting the job done when they're old and ill health. Your husband is quite young, more than 20 years younger than I was, and hopefully he's in decent health other than his heart problems.

I think the best thing in your scendario is simply getting it over with. If you'll peruse the threads here, as you seem to already have done, you'll find two continuing themes:
a. The sooner the better; and
b. The waiting is the hardest part.

 

[ALCapshaw2]

My understanding about the success of First Time Valve Replacement Surgery in patients under age 60 is that it is greater than 98% for patients who are otherwise healthy. That sure beats the DO NOTHING scenario!

'AL Capshaw'

 

[Creed3]

Hi Veronica!
Everyone here has given you great advice. This is a very difficult time for your entire family. Nancy has given some very good advice. One additional thing I would like to tell you is that when I had my surgery, my husband kept busy by taking care of absolutely everything. Cleveland Clinic also offered classes that would help family members understand the surgery and what was going on. It also went into what to expect after surgery and during recovery and what family members could do to help etc...etc...etc...
I don't know if the hospital your husband is in offers anything quite like that but you may want to check into it. It will help you with what to expect. It will also keep you busy with ways to help your husband during his recovery. There is always that bit of doubt in the back of our minds that something will go wrong, but the numbers show that most patients come through the surgery just fine. Please let us know how things progress and I will definitely keep your husband and entire family in my prayers.

Take Care!
Gail

 

[dawnwit15]

Stay positive

Stay positive

Veronica
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong. Your hubby will get through this!
Dawn

 

[vero1]

Hi all, I just had to leave my hubby in the hospital again, it hurts to leave him there, I love him soooo much, and my little boy misses his daddy. We finally got to talk to a surgeon and he told us they are not sure if he's going to need an aortic root replacement since the different test results don't show too much aortic enlargement, so what they are goint to do is go in prepared in case it looks different once they get in. I got a bit frightened when he told us 2 to 5% something could go wrong with just valve replacement and 5 to 10% in case they have to do the root too. I guess I am really hoping that it's just the valve, I am trying to keep calm with Xanax. We thought we might have surgery tomorrow but I guess not till Wed or Thurs, I hope I can get through this. Thank you all again. Veronica.

To answer your question Pam we are at Kaiser Hospital in Hollywood.

 

[geebee]

Veronica,

You will be able to get through this because you need to for your husband and little boy (of course, the Xanax will help ).

I don't know your husband's history (other than what's here) but I think the odds the doctor mentioned of things going wrong are a little high. Usually valve replacement is in the 1-2% mortality. Unless he was referring to ANYTHING going wrong like infections, etc. Of course, there could be underlying issues that make this surgery more complicated than most.

I will pray that the surgery is very soon and you will then be nursing your husband through recovery.

Take care.

 

[BionicBob]

Veronica,

It sounds like your husband may need a root/valve replacement similar to my operation just two months ago. I am just a little over twice your husband's age and I did fine. I am feeling much better and stronger now. You are in my prayers. Everything will be okay. You try to get some rest and be strong for your husband's recovery.

 

[Harrybaby666]

Hi There Veronica...

Hi There Veronica...

I honestly don't know what to say because I am still in the waiting game myself, but I can offer my sincerest prayers and thoughts to you, your little boy and your hubby at this rough time. From what I have heard though is that after the surgery, your hubby (after recovery of course) will hopefully feel 100 times better, maybe you can focus on that aspect of the surgery to help get you through. My prayers are going out to you and your family Take care, and as one who also suffers from anxiety and depression, I know how you are feeling right now, and I just want to say, please remember to take care of yourself as well, that way you can be there for your hubby and get through this as a team. Harrybaby666