My heart is broken

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Rob, I'm so sorry for your loss. I totally understand as my best friend from 2nd grade passed away from breast cancer in March. She was just a few years older than your wife. Since I no longer have parents, she became the one who loved me unconditionally. So many times, I want to pick up the phone and call or plan a trip to see her. It is very hard and only time and faith will heal your heart. Just know I , and all of us here, are here for you. God bless! Susan
 
Rob,

I have been away from VR.com for awhile and just got back today. I am so saddened to hear of your loss. Reading your poems brought tears to my eyes. The pure love behind them shines through. I just wanted to know you have another friend out here in cyber-space to pray for you in your time of need.
 
So Sorry

So Sorry

Robt, please accept my sincere condolences on the passing of your wife. It must be very difficult right now, but let us know if there's anything we can do to help ...
 
I understand........

I understand........

Hi Rob,

The threads on this forum are usually about people who become ill and then get better and that is what is so heartening to other new members as they come along.

You and I know that life is not full of 'success' stories. Once in a while things just don't turn out the way we want them to and you have my heartfelt sympathy and condolences on the death of your dear wife.

You see Robert five years ago today I was at my wife's funeral, so I know first-hand how you are feeling right now. Myrtle was 44 when she had valve-replacement surgery and she was unfortunate to have one of the re-called St. Jude 'silzone' valves. She made a wonderful recovery and then just ten weeks after surgery she died suddenly on the afternoon of Friday 3rd July, 1998. We had no warning, we didn't even get to say goodbye.........we were devastated.

The word 'if' will be uppermost in your mind at this stage. Over and over you will wonder 'if' you could have done more for Tiffany but I don't think you could. You were obviously a very devoted husband and you must be thankful for your time together and for the love and support that you were both able to give each other through your respective illnesses and surgeries. She was able to give you comfort during your heart surgery and you had the privilege of returning that love to the very end of her life. I'm sure she was so grateful for your reassurance when she felt afraid and for your very presence when she felt alone. You fulfilled your role to the end and you can take great comfort from so doing.

You will soon change from the 'if' word to the 'why' word. You will wonder 'why' life has dealt you such a hard blow. I have been there and sometimes got angry. I wondered why other couples were still together and I was alone. One day at a wedding I said to the Clergyman "Why me?" and his reply was "Billy, Why not you?" He told me to look around and see that everyone has their share of sadness and trouble in life. Sometimes we believe that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

You will probably soon discover, as I did, that only those who have been through this experience can fully understand how you feel. I imagine that losing a child is probably the worst thing that can happen in life in that you lose part of your 'future.' When we lose our Parents, we lose some of our 'past.' When you lose your spouse, you lose a bit of both. Your past is full of happy memories and you can use these to sustain you through the days ahead. Your future is in your hands now. Don't rush it, but as you progress forward, remember that you have the rest of your life to live and you must eventually take control of it.

Take one day at a time. Be thankful for the years you both had together and I trust that your future will contain more happiness and joy. It may be very difficult for you to come to terms with but although this is the end of a very happy 'chapter' in your life, it is not the end of the 'book.'

Please feel free to e-mail me at anytime if I can help in any way.

God Bless,
 
Billy in N.Ireland

Billy in N.Ireland

Hello Billy, your post moved me very much. It means alot to me to read what you wrote. I am so sorry for your loss and yes I guess you do know how I am feeling and I may know a little of how you felt 5 yrs ago. I am alone with dear ol Dottie our 10 yr old dalmation and she is a fine companion. I look at old photos, have a house full of things of all types which I guess one day I must go through, and day by day things come back...going to the gym, dealing with my work, and the other things in day to day life. I like to visit her at the cemetery each day and it feels good with dottie and me just sitting in the sun at her grave site. Tears are good and bring comfort. Would be glad to know how you are doing and how you made it through the heartbreak the last 5 yrs. Thanks again for your kind words. RZ
 
4th of 4 poems :A Dream?

4th of 4 poems :A Dream?

This site is still bringing me much comfort. Here is the last of my poems written after my wife passed. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By Robert , for my dearly missed wife Terry aka Tiffany

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, June 26, 2003

A DREAM?

Was it a dream?
A memory?
A lifetime?
When will she come back to me?

"You will always have your memories"
The sympathy cards so state
"To comfort you and your sorrow"
From losing your wife, the late

I saw her in a dream
After she had passed
Will I see her there again?
Or was that dream the last?

She gave me peace and comfort
She anchored life for me
Her smile and her beauty
But more, her dignity

23 years came and went
Together her and I
A dream come true for me
Her lifetime is now bye

I hope I have another dream
Where we can be together
If not I know we will meet again
In Heaven and forever
 
Rob,

Your poems beautiful, your loss deep. Your grief a friend that keeps you connected to your beloved wife. Death, with all of its agony, beautiful spiritual bliss, and pain teaches us the hard lesson of hanging on while letting go.

How do we keep the scent of someone's hair locked in our memory and make sure we don't forget? How do we keep our dear ones alive in our heads and our hearts while at the same time moving on - paying the bills, answering the phone?

It seems one of the scariest things about death is forgetting.

As you transition to a world without your beautiful wife, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. The depths of your grief reflect the depth of your love - for we cannot grieve what we have not loved. Mourn deeply your loss and know that many are holding you in their hearts during this time.

God bless,

Melissa
 
Robert:
So very sorry to know of the loss of your cherished wife, Please know that we will keep you in our prayers and hope that you find some peace in the days to come. Your poem is beautiful and very thought-provoking. Plese post the other poems too. In your time of sorrow, your friends at valvereplacement are here for you.
Blanche
 
ROB
I lost my mother when I was 16 and I still feel the incredible sadness. I can tell you that it will never go away. I'm so sorry. It will seem to get better and then 10 years from now, something will trigger your tears and sadness will overflow.
The only advice I can give you is try to let yourself cry.
The poem was nice and is a good vehicle for you grieving
God Bless
 
Robert...

Robert...

I'm so sorry you have lost your beautiful wife, companion, soulmate, friend, partner and confidant... I 'hear' you talk and write of her and know she was all those things and more to you.

Just remember, 'there are no tears in heaven.'
 
hi robt!
just returned from our trip to find your beautiful poems.
i just wanted to thank you for sharing them and your very personal, intimate feelings for terry with us.
i am speechless...
please know that we are here for you anytime.
be well, sylvia
 
Hi Robz

Hi Robz

I lost my Mother..coming up 2 years..this Oct. 26th. She was my best friend. Talked everyday on phone. Lost her in a quick 1 week hospital stay. Now, when I am riding in a car..I look up at the clouds and I see herface.smiling down at me.. If you look close..You can see her profile...I see my Mom a lot. Perfect face. And I laugh..and say..Hi mama.. and I know she is saying Hi Bonnie..I talk to my Dad everyday..and we still say, Mama's room, Mama's chair, ect. Keep's her alive in our hearts..She will always be with us...Bonnie
 
I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I lost a sister-in-law last July to breast cancer. I was born and raised in Madison, Wisconsin. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
 
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