Yes, often it is.
Minor AS and finding a partner
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rich01
Well-known member
Life is life.
It's how you handle depressing, sad, or tragic events that is important.
At the risk of sounding insensitive you sound like you have significantly more issues than mild AS and being on a beta blocker. First mild AS is not a big deal. You may or may not get to the point were it is an issue and if that happens it can be fixed. Secondly, beta blockers generally slow the heart rate and decrease the force fullness of the heart's contraction. You may or may not really need these drugs if your AS is modest. Furthermore since this condition is not very serious at this stage and should have little effect on you I don't think it should be a conversation piece with your dates. I think your understanding of this problem is inaccurate. Maybe a good discussion with a good cardiologist would be useful.
Agian
Well-known member
I have learned there is much evil in the world. In middle age, I realised the good people you meet along the way make it tolerable.
Art O Ceitinn
Well-known member
Life is what you make it
pellicle
Professional Dingbat, Guru and Merkintologist
but the trick is to not just sit there and stare at that and go: this is now my life.
The trick is to understand that it is your apprehension of this that makes it so.
You can not force life to give you what you demand, the only way forward is to see that happiness is a choice and you can always find things in life to derive happiness from.
I know many men who "seek love" in Asian countries and instead usually find actresses who rob them of what they have ... still they go back. What they have not discovered is that love is something which grows between people in a well managed relationship; its an outcome, not something you find.
There's no guarantee any of us will find a "special person" or will ever get married or fall in love...It seems the secret to living is to expect nothing and be suprised and grateful at the good that comes our way
pellicle
Professional Dingbat, Guru and Merkintologist
agreed ... or meet them, be very happy together and then unexpctedly death parts you ...
I'm not sure if you watched that Shawshank redemption based video on Stoic philosophy I linked to above, but it has many ideas that are exactly in that direction. Great quidance from Marcus Aurelius and Seneca (and embellished by the author), for instance:
We can enjoy a cold drink in the sun if we do not at the same time wish for the moment never to pass.
True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears, but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing.
The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach.
A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.
If you have not taken the time to listen to it I recommend you should. Stoicism is not a religion, nobody leads you ... its a path that you choose to walk yourself.
I can assure you that its not easy being content with your lot when you've lost everything you valued, when you can look at a time and say "well it never gets better than then", but like that drink in the sun for those prisoners it brings no happiness to wish for it to never have ended. It ends for us all, happiness can be found right here right now if you choose to feel it.
carolinemc
Well-known member
I have yet to find a partner, male of course. I am happy with the way it has been since I became an adult and went through a lot. Right now, I am at peace with myself and my new fur baby, Zoey. She is my Sunshine right now.
Who says we ever find a special person and how do you define a special person? I must be one hot mess, as at age 58 that never came true for me and I am dealing with a lot of grief in that regards
Sorry you lost your partner
pellicle
Professional Dingbat, Guru and Merkintologist
me too dude ... it was a very rough time for a while.
If anything good came from it, it was the blowing away of the mists of bull5hit that had been instilled in me by society and the whole Christian (catholic)
- If there is a God, the Jews may be closer to it: God is hateful and capricious (and verges on being despicable)
- Society does nothing (worse) at helping people to actually cope with reality, death is not a thing that happens to "other people".
- We have art for everything except for coping with loss
- life is not about being happy, happiness is something which has a place in the balance but its ephemeral as too is suffering. Life is about learning resilience and strength: because life is tough.
- nobody can help you even if they want to, so you alone must be the source of your own strength and directions
me too dude ... it was a very rough time for a while.
If anything good came from it, it was the blowing away of the mists of bull5hit that had been instilled in me by society and the whole Christian (catholic)
If there is a God, the Jews may be closer to it: God is hateful and capricious (and verges on being despicable)
Society does nothing (worse) at helping people to actually cope with reality, death is not a thing that happens to "other people". We have art for everything except for coping with loss
life is not about being happy, happiness is something which has a place in the balance but its ephemeral as too is suffering. Life is about learning resilience and strength: because life is tough.
nobody can help you even if they want to, so you alone must be the source of your own strength and directions
Agreed well said
