Medical Insurance Explained

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K

Karlynn

MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED (Research done by the AARP Legal
Department)

Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots
go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who
discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if
he was poked hard enough in the eye.

Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the
doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your
insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan.

The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer
accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer
participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is
still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a
half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.

Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name
brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomachache.
What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can
handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart
transplant right in his/her office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20
co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

Q. Will health care be different in the next decade?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by
then.

To Your Good Health (because as you'll see, you'll need it!)
 
Karlynn:

Boy, did I need that laugh! Thanks so much for sharing.

Jan
 
LOL!!!!!!!

Thanks for the laughs, Karlynn ... this is excellent :).


Karlynn said:
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could barter with the hospitals? I mean ... think of it ;).



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"What happened next is hard to tell" ... Ray Stevens ... 'Mississippi Squirrel Revival'
 
Too funny!

Truth be told, I actually found someone who was HELPFUL at my insurance company the other day. :eek: It took being transfered about 5 times, but finally I found someone who understood what I was asking and did the leg work to find out the answer for me! I have her personal extention now and will call her for any other questions I have. She's a rare jewel.
 
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