Marsha, My Views On N/A and MIA's ....

[Cooker]

Many folks like their privacy which is their choice ... what baffles me is when we have N/A’s that become MIA’s ... just stop posting for various reasons .... there have been time when I felt that I just wanted to tell the world to shove it and that includes VR and another forum I moderate .... it could be anger, burnout, illness depression, the list goes on and on ... many times people need a break and active members are almost expected to post and that in itself can be a burden that at times is too hard to bare ....I took the liberty of tallying the post of four MIA’s and the total was 44,183 post ... that is a lot of caring and sharing....

I’m guilty too of many times of getting an attitude and backing off or going in the stealth mode ... It happens with all family relationships, and yes I consider all of you my family wether you claim me or not ... so when I get my ass on my shoulder or climb up on my pity pot I inevitably feel the strong pull to return ... I come back for four reasons and I am going to paraphrase a quote ....”1. Sense of duty, 2. It is a pleasure, 3.Because in doing so I am paying back my debt to the ones who took time to help me over the mountain and 4. Every time I help someone it makes me a better person and helps to insure a good day..... peace out

 

[Mentu]

This past year has been in many ways the worst of my life. Finding VR, however, was one of the best things that has happened. It is difficult to imagine going through this experience without the kind of support that this community has extended. I do feel that it leave one with an obligation to help others the way I have been helped but it is not a painful obligation. It is very comforting to be part of such a compassionate group which leaves the world a better place.

 

[Cooker]

This past year has been in many ways the worst of my life. Finding VR, however, was one of the best things that has happened. It is difficult to imagine going through this experience without the kind of support that this community has extended. I do feel that it leave one with an obligation to help others the way I have been helped but it is not a painful obligation. It is very comforting to be part of such a compassionate group which leaves the world a better place.

Well said Mentu....

 

[ShezaGirlie]

Yes, very well said Mentu and thank you for your concern for others who come here scared and feeling so alone during one of the most trying times of their lives.

And Cooker, I appreciate your thoughts and hanging with us. Back in 1999 when I had my surgery (emergency), I couldn't even tell you what the 4 heart valves were. In the 10 years I've been hanging around this website I've learned loads about different situations of the heart. Some of us have a rather easy time of it -- if that even exists -- and some of us have really rough times and then on occasion there are a few who just didn't make it.

I would love to think that there is a bond amongst all of us that is neigh on impeneratable and I choose to believe that the bond exists. After all, don't we often say that mostly no one knows how we feel except the folks on this website who have gone through the same as we have. I look forward to the MIA's returning when/if they are ready..

 

[Bina]

I am a firm believer in doing volunteer work in any capacity.
Having done decades of volunteering in animal rescue, and being thoroughly tired out from it,
now my wish is that I can share some cardiac experiences here.
I am not a doctor, not even a nurse, but like Janie, I've learned the 4 heart valves....
And yes, everybody is different here and that makes it interesting.

 

[hensylee]

hear! hear! lovely place to be when we need some help or want to give some.

I am going through a tough time just now and this is just the place I want to be. thank you, every one of you.

VR took care of me when I didn't know anything about hearts!

 

[terryj]

With the death of my son 6 weeks ago I have not done too much posting here. I have joined a grief site for those that lost children, even if he was 41 he was not suppose to go before me. But, I check in here everyday and consider you all my family. I have been a member 7 years and don't post alot but I care about you all and hope to meet some of you at next Octobers reunioin. i will continue coming here as long as this site exists.

 

[davidswife]

Oh, Sue, I am so, so sorry for your loss. No matter how old he was, he was still your child. I hope you find comfort in the grief site. The wonderful thing about the internet is that you do not have to be alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.

Nadine

 

[skeptic49]

..... peace out

Kinda says it all...nice thread.

Jim

 

[Glenda]

Great thread Cooker! It say it all for many of us. I don't always post but I read the different posts almost everyday. I am so glad I found this site five years ago when I had my AVR. I don't even remember now how I found out about it but it has been a godsend. These wonderful people have become part of my family. They understand really better than our immediate family. They know what we are going through and what we've gone through. They have "been there, done that."

Sue I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing a child. Hugs & prayers are coming your way.

Ann you are in my prayers. I'm so sorry you are going through a tough time right now.

I think it is so great, here we come from every walk of life, different ages, different outlooks, but we have so much in common. I love you all, my AVR friends.

 

[bvdr]

To me, VR is just a part of my life now. It is a rare day that I don't check in to see how everyone is faring. I've received more than I've given on this site while being part of this online family. That is because there are so many caring people here. I've gone through some really tough times the last few years but nothing like Terry. Terry my heart still aches for you and I pray that God comforts you during this really hard time.

Just a question...I know what MIAs are but what are N/As?

 

[catwoman]

When I don't seen a post from someone in a while, I sometimes check to see when the last time they were on vr.com and wonder if they're ill (particularly someone pre-op or immediately post-op). This is out of concern for the person and very often it is someone whom I've become fond of or respect.

The N/A doesn't answer that question.

I can understand people's desires/need for privacy. My phone number is listed -- but not my address, due to dealings years ago with a relative. That person has our PO box. Of course, she/he could find our address using a computer, but some people still do not own or choose to use a computer. Thank heavens.

Just a question...I know what MIAs are but what are N/As?

Not Available.

 

[CThrock]

I totally agree with all of you. I would'nt know what I do today if it was'nt for this forum. I have been here since the beginning of 2006 and have never left, thought about it a couple times but never did. The information we get here is of great value to our everyday lives as heart patients. I have become friends with so many of you and cherish you as family. Someday we will meet and it will be a joyous time. God bless all of you and as Cooker says, "peace out:

 

[cp172]

We certainly claim you as family Cooker. I for one read more than I post and I always notice when someone seems to vanish. They are missed and I wonder what happened? It is hard to explain how much this site means to me. Time for a group HUG.

 

[BDMc]

Tom, What a nice thread. I really am more of a "lurker", often not even logging in, but can't imagine leaving completely. It has saddened me to see some treasured friends leave. There are so many of you I care deeply for, and would miss too much, that I can't imagine leaving. There are too many I miss because they either left by choice, or death has claimed them. You folks have a knack for opening my heart, and on occasion what passes for my mind. With love and thanks, your valve bro, Brian

 

[MaryC]

I don't post as often as I should but I try to be there when someone has an issue where I have personal experience to share. I remember the fear and dread I felt once I came to terms with having to have surgery. This site was a 'God send'. I found so much valuable information and support. Even though I had pretty much made up my mind about my surgeon, this site confirmed that decision. One member (Adrienne) even put me in touch with a non-member who had her surgery with my same surgeon. This person had such a positive experience I was able to use that as my positive vision. I am convinced all of this information and support made my surgery a better experience.

What I am saying is I keep coming back because I continue to get that same valuable information and support at this site. I have noticed some of the members who were on here at the time of my surgery are no longer here. I wish they knew how much their input was appreciated and missed.

 

[DebbyA]

"I don't post as often as I should but I try to be there when someone has an issue where I have personal experience to share. "(MaryC)

That's where I am. My experience was so uncomplicated that I often don't have any experience to cast a light on questions. One reason I stick around is that I think that in itself could be valuable to some.

I really admire those of you who are always responsive--I know some of you have much busier lives than I do.

 

[marie]

I don't post often either because I really don't have anything that might help but I do post if I think it may help.

I check everyday but sometimes I don't sign on.

I have been helped so much by this site and I'm been lucky enough to meet some of you in person. Some very caring members.

I had a member put me in contact with a former member of this site and she was invaluable to me. She answered so many questions and was always available even though she didn't know me from Adam.

I don't know how I would manage without all of you.
Thanks for being here

 

[Sherry]

Sue, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Many cyberhugs coming your way. I hope the grief site has been helpful to you and your family.

I would echo what many have said already: I don't always have much to offer as I am so many years removed from the surgery (12), but this place will always be in my blood since I've known some of the members since the birth of VR. It is such a wonderful place for newbies to come in and gather so much information and receive so much support throughout the process. I only wish I would have had it back then. I was woefully ignorant as I faced that climb up the mountain.

 

[COLLEEN S]

To all of you...I come here to share my experiences in the hopes that it will help someone who hasnt yet been down "that road". Sue, I hope the bereavement site helps, my prayers go out to you at this time. Sometimes I want to chuck it all and never log on, and then there comes a newbie with questions. More often than not, you guys have already answered him or her...but if I feel I have direct experience with what the poster is saying, I will chime in also. Thanks to all for puttin up with me. This site is a blessing.