Hi Rick and welcome to the forum!
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It can really turn your world upside down to get such news and the vast majority of us have experienced getting similar news at one point or another. So, welcome to our special club- the one nobody wants to join. Still, glad that you found us. Like you, I was born BAV. I am so glad that I found this forum before my surgery, as learning from others who have faced the same situation and decisions that I faced was invaluable. It seems that you have already had some very good feedback, and I hope that you find the forum as helpful as I did.
Although it is really tough to learn of such a diagnosis, there is very good news and that is that our condition has a solution and we can go on to live normal lives.
This is the big dilemna. There is no perfect valve. Either a lifetime of anti-coagulation or multiple surgeries. I was first diagnosed at age 52. After my initial due diligence, I was leaning towards a tissue valve, as I am very physically active. At the same time, who wants to face multiple operations? This is one area where this forum really helped me, in that I learned that one can still be very physically active with a mechanical valve and on warfarin. I ultimately decided that I really wanted to avoid future surgeries and chose a mechanical valve. Surgery was 27 months ago, and I can tell you that my life on warfarin is just as active as my life before warfarin. I run, bike, hike, lift weights and play in the waves at the ocean. I also participate in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. The one thing I gave up was boxing, which I really did enjoy and I do miss, but I've filled the void just fine doing more jiu jitsu and other activities. I can also say that managing warfarin is no big deal. It is important to be diligent about taking your daily pill and having a good system in place so as not to forget a dose. I also self test, which I highly recommend.
I believe that second opinions are always a good idea.
It is totally normal to be scared. Personally, this forum really helped me in facing the fear of open heart surgery. Communicating with so many other people who faced OHS and came out the other side was really encouraging. Also, I'm somewhat of a numbers guy and the statistics are excellent for this procedure, especially if a person is young and in good health as you are.
Every guideline in the world recommends a mechanical valve at your age and, in my view, your cardiologist is correct with his recommendation.
You are doing the right thing in seeking input to help you with the decisions before you and well as the preparations. I would suggest going into surgery knowing that you will be coming out the other side and when you do so you can tell us about all of the interesting things that happened during your hospital stay
Best of luck in your upcomming procedure. Please keep us posted along your journey and during your recovery.