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Chip
I got this in e-mail yesterday and roared. Thought everyone would like it. My favorite one's are the cow story and 'benign'...enjoy
Chip
> Science Exam Answers. These are real answers given by children.
>
> Q: Name the four seasons.
> A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>
> Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe
> to drink.
> A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> pollutants
> like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
>
> Q: How is dew formed?
> A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
>
> Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
> A: Keep it in the cow.
>
> Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
> A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
> water tends to
> flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,
> and nature
> hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
>
> Q: What are steroids?
> A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
>
> Q: What happens to your body as you age?
> A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
> intercontinental.
>
> Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
> adultery.
>
> Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
> A: Premature death.
>
> Q: What is artificial insemination?
> A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
>
> Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g.,
> abdomen.)
> A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
> borax and the
> abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
> contains the
> heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
> bowels, A, E,
> I, O, and U.
>
> Q: What is the fibula?
> A: A small lie.
>
> Q: What does "varicose" mean?
> A: Nearby.
>
> Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
> A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
>
> Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
> A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Chip
> Science Exam Answers. These are real answers given by children.
>
> Q: Name the four seasons.
> A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>
> Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe
> to drink.
> A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> pollutants
> like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
>
> Q: How is dew formed?
> A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
>
> Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
> A: Keep it in the cow.
>
> Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
> A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
> water tends to
> flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,
> and nature
> hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
>
> Q: What are steroids?
> A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
>
> Q: What happens to your body as you age?
> A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
> intercontinental.
>
> Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
> adultery.
>
> Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
> A: Premature death.
>
> Q: What is artificial insemination?
> A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
>
> Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g.,
> abdomen.)
> A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
> borax and the
> abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
> contains the
> heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
> bowels, A, E,
> I, O, and U.
>
> Q: What is the fibula?
> A: A small lie.
>
> Q: What does "varicose" mean?
> A: Nearby.
>
> Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
> A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
>
> Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
> A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
