Greetings!

[Creed3]

Hi Cort!
So January 6th is the big day. These next few weeks will be the hardest time for you. I felt like the waiting was the worst. Try to look at it as everyone else has suggested. Think about how well you will feel after the surgery. You will be on your way to feeling like a brand new you. You will do GREAT! In the meantime, try to keep your mind off of it if you can. Enjoy your holidays. If you ever need to just blow off steam or have any concerns, please lean on us here. We are all glad to help. We have all already or will be going through the same thing.

Take Care!
I'll be thinking of you a lot as the big day approaches!
Gail

 

[mamsram]

cort,

Thanks for the info on your valve. It has served you well.
You may have some physical problems, but reading your posts ,I feel like I'm reading a brain going 90 m.p.h.
Youv'e been thru a lot and I'm hoping, believing, that you will go on to many good things that life has to offer.
You are on a mission to get things in proper order, so that you can go ahead with your life and live abundantly.

wishing you well----keep cool and believe

 

[Gnusgal]

Believe me, Cort, if I could be there for your New Year's bash I would be. Unfortunately, I'm in Texas. But I'll be thinking of you. Please make sure you don't focus so much on the upcoming surgery that you can't enjoy the holidays. I know, I know... easier said than done. But I can honestly say that the waiting is the absolute worst part. I won't repeat everything everyone else has said, but I will say they are right! Keep us updated and feel free to write anytime. I just know that this surgery will be a wonderful thing for you. It's about time you had something good happen...

 

[Guest]

Nancy...I *try* to be thorough...sometimes I don't feel that way...like even so, right now. So many feelings are churning around inside me...it's hard to put it into words...... As for following through with the doctors, I really feel like I shouldn't *have* to do that, but if I don't...I can't be guaranteed they will...course, even with my prodding, I can't guarantee that they are talking with each other...arg.

John...your post was very helpful to me. Right now, I'm trying so hard to be "upbeat and positive" about this whole thing, but even my best friend can see right through me even tho she is in VA and I'm in IL. She called me at work today to let me know that she and her hubby are trying to work it out so they are here the first week or so of January...to be here for me. She asked how I was doing, and I said fine. She said "bull s$%^"....and I told her that I am dying inside right now...for many reasons...too many to name here...but, I know a few of you (Niki, for instance) know that it has been an extremely rough year for me. At any rate, I'm so glad you posted what you did, John. A definitely different perspective that I need!!! I am looking forward to having this all over...being "back to normal"...etc.

henslyee...chuckled at your note about being on time...I strive to be ontime for everything .

Creed...yep, the waiting is the worst part. Right now, I just want it over with. My mind keeps wandering back and forth from thinking about the pain I'll be in right after the surgery...to not being able to drive for up to 6 weeks (yes, that is a major thing for me...LOL)...to our first Christmas without Gram...to wishing I had a gf [yes, I know I have a bunch of friends/family who care a lot and are here for me no matter what...but, like my best friend said today, a gf is just different...I know...a little selfish of me...]...to what else the surgeons could find wrong when they open me up...to being home for several weeks (yahoo!)...to wondering if I'll have a job to go back to....aye...I'm sure you get the idea.....

ram...you are welcome... Heh...I like your description of reading a brain at 90 mph...that is so true in my case (as you might have guessed from the above paragraph).

Niki...you could always travel to IL . he he he... And, yes, the surgery is a wonderful thing...b/c it will help me feel better...and, yet, aye....as u know, it's been a heck of a year...and, as you noted, about time something good happens for me.

 

[joy]

Hey Cort, how are you? So you are going with a homograph, eh? I don't know too much about those, but John is probably right. I remember my husband and I got into an arguement on the way to the hospital, and I was so scared I started to cry. I think the ride to the hospital is the worst part...I was like, "wow, today is the day, in a couple of hours I will be in the OR having open heart surgery." I guess my mom was a nervous wreck until Kevin called and told her how I was doing. THen she called everyone and their brother to tell them I was ok. ONe of my friends who was here told me that she almost wore a hole in the living room floor pacing back and forth. It is weird being 25 with rhuematic heart disease, though. I sort of feel alone, but I know I am not. ALl the people on this site are great, but nobody around me understands what I have gone through so they sort of expect me to do all the things I used to do and I just physically can't without killing my sternum. I do get tired alot. Not exhausted, just sleepy. Speaking of sleep I think that's what I will do right now...bedtime!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Guest]

Hmm...instead of putting on the post what I typed...it quoted me....hmmm

At any rate...gosh darn it...

Joy...I feel like I'm talking to my own sister when I type yer name...

LOL...anyway....yeah, I think the drive to the hospital is the worst part....

I hear you about the relatives pacing the floor, etc. I know how my family was in 1987...and I know how they are already...sometimes, I wonder who is more freeked...me or them . But, it is good to know that friends and family want to know how I am, etc. My best friend told me this past week that she will be here Jan 4-8 (or 9)...so that will be cool.

And...I understand about the frustrations of not being able to do everything people expect....kinda hurtful, in a way .

 

[Guest]

Happy New Year & welcome to 2003...a brand new year with brand new experiences! While the last few weeks have been very hectic, here is hoping 2003 has a bunch of better things in store...including more "road trips"!

Between nervousness of the surgery, to missing Gram at Christmas, to some frustrating issues, to saying goodbye to people (for a little while), to putting my work responsibilities into others' very capable hands, to loneliness (of several varieties), to people telling me to simply relax...I haven't quite been myself recently, & it's wearing on my nerves...! At this point, I want this all behind me...& to begin a new life (in more ways than one) after the surgery!

The pre-op visit will take place this Friday (Jan 3) & then I will be annointed on Sunday (Jan 5).

This probably will be my last post for a while (unless the surgery does not happen as scheduled or something "big" is revealed during the pre-op visit), as I have a busy few days ahead of me to get ready for the surgery...& to "get out" to relax a bit, including visits from some friends. I apologize that I have not responded to each individual Email I have received in the last month or so, but I will *attempt* to once I am home recovering...& not able to drive . I definitely appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers, support &, of course, friendship. While I may feel lonely, I know I'm not alone....

In the meantime, take care & stay safe! If you see me online (AIM & Yahoo IDs below), please buzz me to talk . I look forward to re-connecting with you as soon as I can.

"There's no better time than today"; 9 Days...'Good Friend'...~2002

"I hope that you find love along the way"; Brad Paisley...'I Wish You'd Stay'...~2002

"I need you to know...that my arms are wide open & will always be"; Emerson Drive...'Fall Into Me'...~2002

"I kept everything inside"; Linkin Park...'In The End'...~2002

"I hope you remember me when you're homesick & need a change"; Our Lady Peace...'Somewhere Out There'...~2002

"Promise me you'll stop in to see an old friend"; Rascal Flats...'These Days'...~2002

"Do you remember me, too?"; Stereo Fuse...'Everything'...~2002

"Who's gonna hold me tonite when I'm feeling lonely?"; Trace Adkins...'Help Me Understand'...~2002

"I'm doing better than I thought I would"; Wallflowers...'When You're On Top'...~2002

"Got a lead foot down on my accelerator"; Jodee Messina...'Bye Bye Bye'...~2000

"Don't let your life pass you by"; Sarah McLachlan...'I Will Remember You'...~2000

"I missed a million miles of fun"; Len...'Steal My Sunshine'...~1999

"I'm feeling more alone than I ever have before"; Ben Folds 5...'Brick'...~1997

"Don't look now, things just got worse"; Dog's Eye View...'Everything Falls Apart'...~1995

"Back in 1876 an old boy named Bell invented a contraption that we know so well"; Reba McEntire...'Why Haven't I Heard From You?'...~1994

"So tired that I couldn't even sleep"; Soul Asylum...'Runaway Train'...~1992

"The truth is not kind"; Toad The Wet Sprocket...'All I Want'...~1991

"Just for a moment I held you too close, now I?m all out of time & I don?t want to let go"; Steve Wariner...'The Weekend'...~1987

"Never thought you'd be the one in the darkness now"; Juice Newton...'Old Flame'...~1986

"Things are going to be different from now on"; Larry Gatlin & the Gatlin Bros...'(She Used To Be) Somebody's Baby'...~1986

"After so many dreams have fallen through, it's time that one came true"; Earl Thomas Conley...'Nobody Falls Like A Fool'...~1985

"I know I told you that I could survive"; Deborah Allen...'Baby I Lied'...~1983

"I never meant to leave you alone"; Michael Martin Murphy...'Don't Count The Rainy Days'...~1983

"How could I be so blind?"; Charly McClain...'Who's Cheating Who'...~1980

Peace...Always,
Cort Stevens ... Elgin IL ... 29/swm
AOL IM "fc72mc" ... Yahoo IM "knightfan2691"
member, Faith COB, Batavia IL http://www.faithcob.org
My Chevy MC Family & Story = http://www.aros.net/~rbuck/cort
G1=1970-1972...72
G2=1973-1977...76
G3=1978-1980...79
G4=1981-1988...81
Ga=1995-1999...uh, no
Gb=2000-2004...00 ****FOR SALE**** [87 MC LS *WANTED*]
G5=2005-200?...05...SS, wanted w/V8 & RWD
RIP: 1976=Parents' [my] car ... 1988=Silver Bullet
http://www.aros.net/~rbuck/mcspotter/

 

[Lorraine]

Hi Cort,

Just catching up on reading posts and I realized your big day is this coming Monday. I want to wish you the best. I know you are nervous but "Let go, Let God". It will be okay.

Sounds like you have everything in order. I understand totally about wanting to make sure all your doctors are on the same page! It's all the little detail that seem to occupy your mind non-stop.

I like Johns advise, which is oh so true! Think about how much better you are going to feel when this is all behind you! Keep a positive mental attitude! What a better way to start the New Year than be able to begin anew, literally!

I have a previous engagement or I would have liked to have been there for your annointment on January 5th.

I will have you in my thoughts and prayers. We will all be holding your hand in cyber space. Take care and God Bless!

 

[Gnusgal]

Cort,

As always, you know my thoughts/prayers are with you. I know everything will turn out great and you will be feeling wonderful in no time at all. I just added you to my AIM buddy list so I can keep an eye out for you. I'll be anxiously waiting to hear of your sucess!

God Bless,