First Surgery Coming Up, And Afraid

[dick0236]

Hi All, Update: I made it through

That being said, my biggest struggle so far has been mental. A year ago I was just a normal (for the most part) 28 year old and now I've got this bum heart to worry about for the rest of my life. Even on the good days, I find my mind wandering back to the familiar will I grow old? have kids? when will the bicuspid valve my momma gave me decide to give up the ghost? will a possible second surgery do me in?

The "mental stuff" is difficult to deal with. I was only 30 when I was told I would not live to 40 without an aortic valve replacement.......and OHS was very new at that time. I had just graduated college and thought "I had the world by the tail with a downhill drag" before my surgery........and then fear of the unknown brought me back to earth shortly after surgery.

I did grow old....now 88. My kids who were 6 and 8 years old when I had the surgery are now retiring. I also have 3 grandchildren and 5 great-grandkids (so far). One of my great-grandchildren is graduating high school so I may have great-great grandkids by the time I cash out.

I thought that, even with a new heart valve, I would cash out around the age of 50.........but this old valve just won't quit. The future is not for us to know. If, or when, your repair fails you probably will go thru the second surgery with little, if any, problem. I remind you of my motto......"eat the elephant ONE bite at a time".

PS: Bicuspid valves are congenital, so you need to look at many of your ancestors.....not just your momma.

 

[christopherj]

The "mental stuff" is difficult to deal with. I was only 30 when I was told I would not live to 40 without an aortic valve replacement.......and OHS was very new at that time. I had just graduated college and thought "I had the world by the tail with a downhill drag" before my surgery........and then fear of the unknown brought me back to earth shortly after surgery.

I did grow old....now 88. My kids who were 6 and 8 years old when I had the surgery are now retiring. I also have 3 grandchildren and 5 great-grandkids (so far). One of my great-grandchildren is graduating high school so I may have great-great grandkids by the time I cash out.

I thought that, even with a new heart valve, I would cash out around the age of 50.........but this old valve just won't quit. The future is not for us to know. If, or when, your repair fails you probably will go thru the second surgery with little, if any, problem. I remind you of my motto......"eat the elephant ONE bite at a time".

PS: Bicuspid valves are congenital, so you need to look at many of your ancestors.....not just your momma.

I’ll never get tired of reading your success story.

 

[Zoltania]

That being said, my biggest struggle so far has been mental. A year ago I was just a normal (for the most part) 28 year old and now I've got this bum heart to worry about for the rest of my life. Even on the good days, I find my mind wandering back to the familiar will I grow old? have kids? when will the bicuspid valve my momma gave me decide to give up the ghost? will a possible second surgery do me in?

Techniques from mindfulness meditation can help with this. What I've learned is that thoughts are just passing things and I can choose how much attention I want to pay to them. Typically, when I notice I'm having an anxious thought, I note it, tell myself "That's a thought I'm having," take a slow breath or two, and then move on with whatever I was doing. I don't always have to follow the thought down a whole path or rabbit hole. I'm not denying or suppressing the thought, but just acknowledging it and letting it pass by.

Sometimes this is referred to as "creating space in your mind." You can get a little distance between your consciousness and the anxious thoughts, like an eagle soaring over a forest, or a skier leaving their upper body still as their lower body flexes to go over a mogul. The thoughts will come back -- that's human nature -- but you don't have to dwell on them.

 

[christopherj]

Techniques from mindfulness meditation can help with this. What I've learned is that thoughts are just passing things and I can choose how much attention I want to pay to them. Typically, when I notice I'm having an anxious thought, I note it, tell myself "That's a thought I'm having," take a slow breath or two, and then move on with whatever I was doing. I don't always have to follow the thought down a whole path or rabbit hole. I'm not denying or suppressing the thought, but just acknowledging it and letting it pass by.

Sometimes this is referred to as "creating space in your mind." You can get a little distance between your consciousness and the anxious thoughts, like an eagle soaring over a forest, or a skier leaving their upper body still as their lower body flexes to go over a mogul. The thoughts will come back -- that's human nature -- but you don't have to dwell on them.

This is a good reminder that recovery is more than just your body, but also your relationship with how your body works. Having access to a multidisciplinary team that includes psychologists is important.