Farewell

[Blanche]

I will miss you

I will miss you

Gina:

Arguments come and go, but you have always been steady in your help for others. It seems to me that we don't have to agree on the same things to be "friends."

I wish you well and know that you will be missed.

This is a sad, sad happening. Just remember that the door is always open.

Blanche

 

[halleyg]

Gina,
I was truly saddened and shocked to read your post. Please reconsider! I had two heart surgeries, one before knowing about VR and one after. I can tell you that having this forum to come to and having people to talk to who knew what I was going through was invaluable, and made all the difference in the world. I get why you would be upset about losing the war room, but it is upsetting as well (more so, IMO) to lose you. You can find discussions on healthcare all over the internet (and I am not downplaying your own discussion) but it is hard to find people out there who have been through OHS, especially valve replacement, and to have somewhere to go to talk about it. I have no idea about what else has been going on, but just hearing it referenced now and then I think brings a dark cloud around and drives people away. Whoever is showing up only to bully others should be banned.
Anyhow, I am trying to say that I have been here over two years and have always thought you were so nice, always had the right words to say when I needed it most. Please don't take that away! It really would be such a shame.

 

[abbanabba]

Hey Gina - wow, I just stopped in for a quick update and this was quite a shock! I do think, however, that you need to do whatever is right for you and if that means taking a break, then so be it.

I haven't been around enough to be familiar with the "War Room", but it sounds intriguing and one of the things I have always found a bit frustrating with this, and other forums I have participated in with my heart troubles, is that there has not been somewhere to have a great debate about non-related heart topics. OK, maybe that should be kept to other forums, but where's the fun if you can't discuss other things with the people you feel you already know?

Anyway, whether you take a break or leave altogether, I wish you the very best and also thank you for your wonderful contributions and advice over the years.


A : (

 

[Hank]

Truly Unfortunate

Truly Unfortunate

I don't like to see any member leave our site for any reason.

But Gina - and everyone else - I hope that you can consider one simple fact.

I make choices each and every day of my life based on what I feel in my mechanically beating heart to be the correct thing to do.

With so many differing points of view out there, I must in the end rely on what my intuition tells me.

I had the feeling 10 years ago that I should create this place - and acting on that feeling has truly helped thousands and thousands of people.

I offer no guarantees other than the reality that I will go where my heart leads me.

The recent "memo" that I posted has resulted in hundreds of thoughtful email responses filled with wisdom and insight. I have read each and every one of them with a desire to search within myself as to what is the best direction for ValveReplacement.com.

I believe that it is when we look beyond what is best for ourselves, and concentrate on what is best for others that we find the truly good things in life.

I love this place, and want nothing more than to continue to assist those in need of knowledge, companionship and support.

Gina - please look beyond the weaknesses and concentrate on the strengths of this site. I believe that you will find that the good far outweighs the bad.

 

[Dennis S]

Dear Hank-I am going to stay away from any comment on what is right, or wrong. I have my own opinions, just like everyone else. But I certainly do appreciate your words here. I will certainly find occasion to use them myself in my work as local school board president. I have never doubted that you do your best (and your best is very good) to provide this special place. Someday I hope to have the opportunity to meet in person. Thank you until then.

 

[aussiemember]

Like Dennis I'm not going to comment on the discussion but also want to add my thanks to Hank. I couldn't have got through my surgery last year or the recovery anywhere near as well without this site. And the knowledge gained from the anticoagulation forum has been absolutely invaluable.......

 

[srinivassusu]

Gina , I miss u . In a short time..

SRINIVAS
Aneurysmal dilation of aortic root and ascending aorta with dissection,BAV,mod.AR.
Mod. Bental DC Bono surgery with#25 mm St.Jude medical valved conduit
Surgeon: Dr K.s. Neelakandan,Dr.Sridar CARE Hospital, Bangara Hills,Hyderabad,India

 

[Superbob]

Hank, I second Dennis. This is a terrific site as is. Disagreements inevitably going to arise among folks of differing perspectives. You and Ross do a great job dealing with all that. I believe the information and experiences exchanged here on VR are widely renowned. I would just keep on keepin' on.

And Gina, I, too, hope you will reconsider and stay with us. I haven't always shared your perspective but you have been there with helpful, caring and compassionate words of wisdom for so many. Take a break if you need to (I do so from time to time) but come back.....

 

[Mileena46]

If all the older members (been here the longest) quit, then who is going to be here to help us newer members get through all the things you guys have already weathered? The information I have gotten here has gotten me through some times when I wasn't sure of what to do!
Gina, I am so new I can't really tell one person from the next yet....but I hate to see anyone leave! Please reconsider from someone who is where you have been and still needs support!

Mileena

 

[Wise]

If I get to the point of surgery and a bunch of you vr.com pioneers/veterans have bailed out, I WILL hunt you down and force you to answer all of my questions. Scared yet?

 

[davidswife]

Gina, like everyone else, I was so sad to read your post. David and I haven't even gotten to Tawara, how am I going to let you know how good it was!

I didn't get a chance to spend any time in the War Room but I was actually planning on checking it out because this whole health care debate is so confusing and I was looking forward to reading the perspectives of all the very knowledgeable people here on vr.com. Well, now I guess I have to figure it out on my own!

Gina, you have to do what you feel you need to do but I truly hope that you will reconsider and come back. Take a break and then come back and read through this thread again and see how many people (David and I included) whose lives you have made a difference in with you warm, caring and knowlegeable posts. Then think about all the newbies who will not have the chance to benefit from your participation in the forum and I hope then you will come back to us. Wishing you all the best whatever you decide.

Nadine

 

[geebee]

Since I have heard from folks about all the good wishes on this thread, I decided to stop in and thank those of you who have been so kind.

But, worry not. Some people who quit because the War Room existed have come back now that it is gone so all is well. Why I am the only one being considered selfish by some is, once again, beyond my comprehension.

Perhaps this will just be a break - not really sure. Just know that there are things going on that I will just not address on this public thread and I am deeply hurt by them. However, all of the love that is prevalent in most of the posts here is not unappreciated or unnoticed. I am trying to work through my feelings and will allow myself the time to do so.

Thank you to all those who care about me - it means more than you will ever know.

 

[ShezaGirlie]

If I get to the point of surgery and a bunch of you vr.com pioneers/veterans have bailed out, I WILL hunt you down and force you to answer all of my questions. Scared yet?

Wise old friend ~~ you mean you haven't had surgery yet...

And I appreciate Hank for taking on the monumental task of keeping this website alive and well. You have many words of wisdom coming from your young heart..

Not to worry folks, I've been here since 1999 and long enough to see Gina leave and return several times. After all, everyone needs a break now and then..

 

[davidswife]

Wow, I didn't realize that there were people who quit just because the War Room existed and have now come back. I think there was a place on this forum for that kind of (hopefully) intelligent debate and feel sorry for those that could not see that and felt that they had to leave instead of just not participating in the thread. I think it is really unfortunate that the War Room is gone, although, as I said, I hadn't really gotten a chance to check it out completely so if things were getting nasty and people were getting hurt then I can understand why it was removed. You would think that intelligent, grown people would be able to have a civil debate and respect everyone's point of view even if it was not in agreement with their own. But again, having not participated in the War Room I can only speculate as to why it disappeared.

And Gina, I really didn't see where anyone called you selfish unless that was in another thread or a private message that you received. We are all just saddened that you will not be here any longer to share your expertise and compassion but I would not call your decision selfish. You were obviously hurt and I feel terrible about that. Maybe it is selfish of all of us to want you here but everyone truly needs to do what is best for them and no one has a right to call your decision selfish. With all that said, I still hope you will stay.

Nadine

 

[LUVMyBirman]

Hi Gina,

I have not been able to contribute, post, read in detail for quite some time. The twists and turns of life in general.

This is all very disheartening....as I recall VR.com in the "earlier years" being a "tight" community of support and comradery. Not sure what all happened to break down such a nice group of folks with a common bond? Growing pains perhaps?

I did not email Hank with suggestions on the site as requested. Mostly, do to lack of time. I do feel the forum should be an open forum. For one to speak his/her mind. If something hurtful is stated, well...that's just life. As long as there are not idol threats on a life or something similar. Speak the mind. It's still a free country! So to speak..!

In short, I hope whomever was involved in this meltdown will find inner peace and resolve the issues at hand.

Take care.

 

[Lisa in Katy]

Nadine - I don't believe that those who were involved in the War Room were hurt. There were a couple of posts that were in personal attack mode and off topic, but we are all grownups and should know how to handle such issues. I even figured out how to use the "Ignore" option on the site! As far as I can tell, the ones who complained seemed to be the ones who weren't participating but couldn't figure out to just skip that thread.

Those of us who have been around a long time feel that vr is part of our extended family. As such, we should be able to talk about what we want, when we want (within reason of course). The War Room was and Small Talk is the perfect place to do that. Sure there are other sites out there to discuss these issues, but why shouldn't we be able to discuss them with "family"? Also, we need a reason to keep coming back. I have given plenty and received some advice through this forum, but my surgery was 11 years ago. Yes I think that giving advice is important, and I continue to do so when able, especially on questions about INR and Pericarditis, but my advice is getting outdated, I don't know anything about the newer technology and surgery methods, and I really don't have any questions anymore. So there needs to be a benefit to people like me as well as the newbies. For some of us, the War Room and/or other off topic threads gives that benefit.

As far as Gina leaving and coming back several times, I must say that I don't recall that and don't see her as someone who makes idle threats. If she decides to come back, I will welcome her with open arms, but to downplay her frustration with recent happenings is not fair to her, a very valuable member.

 

[Kathy McCain]

I totally agree Lisa,

Gina I believe has much more character, than to play games like that. Yes, I believe the War Room was an excellent forum, for those that were inclined to post their political opinion, concerning the health care debate. How convenient, that certain peope have returned, since it has been delelted.

 

[Lorimacm]

Hi Gina,
I am fairly new here and have enjoyed your feedback on my posts. I am sorry to hear you are leaving us. I don't know what the "war room" is - I haven't seen it since I have been a part of this site.

Well, my best wishes to you,
Lori

 

[Maryka]

Why are you leaving --please state again?

Why are you leaving --please state again?

Hi! I have never written to you before that I remember. I left VR for awhile, though without fanfare or goodbyes. I only came back because what I consider the "mean" people had been purposely sent off to express their thoughts on the War Room. I was glad to get rid of troubling responses on the threads I usually read.

While I was gone, I was asked by the moderators why I had left. I told them and I was told that the War Room was set up so troubling interactions were removed from the regular threads. But later the moderators told me that the War Room was not drawing many posts and that it would be eliminated. I never visited the War Room because I hear enough "mean talk" at work, on TV, on the radio, etc.

If you were one of the people who enjoyed the War Room and it was taken away, well, I agree that you should be able to continue to spout off in the War Room. It made sense to me that fighting should be allowed to occur in the War Room but not in the regular threads.

I have no idea what other people may have complained about or what new rules have been made. (Where do you find rules?)

I wish you well! I have come back to the list, but would leave again if I find "mean" words and thoughts are creeping back into the main threads.

 

[Kathy McCain]

Hi all,

The only thing "mean" about the War Room, was a very few (maybe a couple) of people that got carried away, and personally attacked (with words)some of the FORUM MEMBERS. To me that is totally unacceptable. Other than that, it was a good place for debate.