Farewell

[Sherry]

You know, I agree with Gina (Luv My Birman) when she states that there has always been a tight bond between many of the long time members. (I've been around since the very beginning.) It's unfortunate that time seems to be eroding that bond. I suppose that's not uncommon with any online community or really any group for that matter.

But...in saying that, I will say this, Gina (GeeBee), I have actually had dinner and vino with you several years ago in Chicago and really enjoyed your company. You have much to add with your many years of valve experience, and even I (with 12 years under my belt) still look up to you as a veteran. I hope that if you do decide to take a break, that you come back.

Finally, regarding the War Room, it personally wasn't my cup of tea. I visited a few times and just didn't care for the tone. If I want to argue about the current administration's many perceived ills, all I have to do is go spend time with my folks and my in-laws. Love all of them to death, but my gosh...never a dull moment when politics is brought up. However, having said that, it should have stayed up and running. It concerns me that "people" were complaining. How many people are we talking about here? 2? 4? 20? This reminds me of school when one or two parents complain about something, say a novel that they find offensive, and we remove the title altogether. If people really need an outlet and want to debate controversial topics, then give it to them. No big deal. The disclaimer was pretty clear, don't go in if you don't want your feathers ruffled. Okay, stepping off my soapbox to go enjoy a glass of vino with my husband.

 

[Wise]

Wise old friend ~~ you mean you haven't had surgery yet...

And I appreciate Hank for taking on the monumental task of keeping this website alive and well. You have many words of wisdom coming from your young heart..

Not to worry folks, I've been here since 1999 and long enough to see Gina leave and return several times. After all, everyone needs a break now and then..

I PM'd you the boring details, but no I have not had valve replacement yet. I may be lucky and dodge that bullet for years to come. Fingers crossed.

 

[PairoDocs]

Gina,

Please stay. Yes, a break may be in order, but don't burn your bridges. Remember Bicuspid Boy? I'm grateful that you aren't asking for your posts to be pulled. I've enjoyed reading your stuff over the 1 1/2 years I've been on VR, and will miss it badly if you leave. You're the voice of experience, and you still post often (at least until now ). Please just don't stay away for good.

Consider what I delineated to Hank in my reply to his memo/email he sent out. I suggested that the War Room be retained, but in a secondary forum level accessed by possibly an additional password, or clicking on an agreement button, similar to the "Controversial content available only if you're 18+" buttons some sites have. This way casual or disinterested people who don't realize what they may be getting themselves into won't stumble upon it and find something nasty to complain about. If someone doesn't find political, religious, or other debate to be an enjoyable pastime, he/she merely doesn't sign up for this additional forum access. Regular members only access, such as TOOTS, should remain as it is. The War Room forum wouldn't be visible to guests or regular members who don't agree to the 'relaxed' rules of etiquette that may be in place there. This way, new members could get their feet wet in the regular forums, and if they're the lively debating sorts, then one or more of the members "in the know" about the War Room will PM them the existence of this extra forum, so they can vent their steam and passion to their hearts' content, after taking the extra steps Hank and Ross decide are necessary to get in there. Similarly, if a particularly passionate and lively, but somewhat controversial debate erupts on Small Talk or some other forum, the original poster(s) could likewise be introduced to the existence of The War Room when the posts are moved there. This would be a whole lot better than just simply deleting the thread.

I hope Hank, if you're reading this, will consider this as a compromise between totally removing The War Room, and leaving it too accessible. As for you, Gina, maybe this will be a way where you can get into those insightful and wonderfully opinionated debates again, while leaving the easily offended at a membership level where they can receive the support and education they need for healing for their pre- and post-OHS lives, without worrying about accidentally stumbling onto something they find hurtful or frightening.

God bless,

Chris

 

[Bridgette]

Well said Chris!

 

[Ross]

The WAR room is gone. It will never return. The problem we have here is that heated debates are always going to happen on occasion. What I cannot figure out for the life of me is, if there is a warning on forum that states "If you do not want your feathers ruffled, stay out" and the curiousity seekers go in, get offended and blow a head gasket. You were warned not to go in in the first place, so who's fault is that?

The idea that other threads were not receiving there due attention is totally bogus. All the participants of the HCR thread, with the exception of 1, posted in other areas of the forum just as they always have.

What people need to get over is the fact that these things are going to happen from time to time and when they do, it can be discussed in a civilized adult manor. There is no reason for any of them to turn into insults, flaming, or the other host of the gambit that is employed to cause a thread to be deleted or closed. It's happened way too many times in the past, so how should these threads be handled?

Better yet, your the moderator, it has now become your problem, how are you going to deal with it? I'd like to see who's moderator material here.

 

[skeptic49]

how should these threads be handled?

Better yet, your the moderator, it has now become your problem, how are you going to deal with it? I'd like to see who's moderator material here.

Fair question.

I am the discussion list originator, owner and moderator of a hobby discussion form on yahoogroups that is now nine years old. We have 559 members as of this morning. In case anyone would care to have a look, the homepage is here:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/standg/

Please note the group's guidelines posted on the home page.

My group functions today almost totally without my need to moderate posts. This I attribute to three things:

1. Clear guidelines that state what is acceptable and not acceptable language in posts to the list.

2. A clearly and narrowly defined mission, purpose and topic for the discussion list. Off topic posts are not permitted.

3. Enforcement of the above by the list owner/moderator.

No matter what the topic, be it valvular heart disease, or toy trains, human nature is such that controversial topics and harsh words tend to seep in to discussions occasionally. When that happens on my list, I gently remind participants of our guidelines. Usually that is sufficient. I have rarely had to remove someone from my list but it has happened on occasion. It is a generally accepted convention in the world of cyberspace discussion forums that topics such as politics and religion are to be avoided (unless the list or forum has that as its intended focus) so as not to distract from the primary focus of the forum or list, or disrupt it.

I believe that a discussion list like mine or a forum like VR.com works best when it sticks to its purpose. These forums cannot be all things to all people. It's best to decide what you want to accomplish with your forum or list, and focus on that.


This is my experience FWIW.

Jim

 

[Ross]

Fair question.

I am the discussion list originator, owner and moderator of a hobby discussion form on yahoogroups that is now nine years old. We have 559 members as of this morning. In case anyone would care to have a look, the homepage is here:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/standg/

Please note the group's guidelines posted on the home page.

My group functions today almost totally without my need to moderate posts. This I attribute to three things:

1. Clear guidelines that state what is acceptable and not acceptable language in posts to the list.

2. A clearly and narrowly defined mission, purpose and topic for the discussion list. Off topic posts are not permitted.

3. Enforcement of the above by the list owner/moderator.

No matter what the topic, be it valvular heart disease, or toy trains, human nature is such that controversial topics and harsh words tend to seep in to discussions occasionally. When that happens on my list, I gently remind participants of our guidelines. Usually that is sufficient. I have rarely had to remove someone from my list but it has happened on occasion. It is a generally accepted convention in the world of cyberspace discussion forums that topics such as politics and religion are to be avoided (unless the list or forum has that as its intended focus) so as not to distract from the primary focus of the forum or list, or disrupt it.

I believe that a discussion list like mine or a forum like VR.com works best when it sticks to its purpose. These forums cannot be all things to all people. It's best to decide what you want to accomplish with your forum or list, and focus on that.


This is my experience FWIW.

Jim

I guess I should have said, people who are not moderators/administrators elsewhere. You have a working knowledge of having to deal with people. I will look at your rules however. Thanks Jim.

 

[Lisa in Katy]

There is a difference in the type of forum that Jim moderates and this one. People go to his forum because of a common hobby that they like to discuss. That hobby is constantly changing, people are looking for parts, particular trains, etc. and that keeps them coming back. Our forum is defined as an advice forum. Once people get their advice, get beyond their surgery, and the recovery weeks following, the only advice they usually need is INR, and even that is usually a short lived need as we all become experts pretty quickly. I'm well beyond the getting advice stage as any question I have about my heart now is pretty advanced. In fact, most of the lower level advice ever needed is already there if you do a search. I will give advice on topics I feel knowledgeable on, but since there are many others who give the same advice, I'm not sure how useful that is. So, if you want people to keep coming back after their need for advice is over, you have to do something besides appeal to their goodness of heart. Unlike a hobby forum, allowing only on topic threads in a single topic advice forum would lead to boredom and people would just stop visiting.

I agree that blatant rudeness to other members shouldn't be allowed and I recently complained about a particular post. However, unlike the War Room, that post is still here. There was another post that I felt was rude and I contacted the person directly about it (in a very polite way). The person never responded so obviously knew that the post was rude. That post is also still up.

 

[Kathy McCain]

I'm in agreement with Ross on this one. I think Chris made some excellent points, and sugestions too. I believe it was a mistake to delete the War Room. Quiet honestly, I really don't understand what all the fuss and controversy is about.

Again, if you did not wish to debate, don't go in.

That's my OPINION.

 

[Kathy McCain]

Jim,

So you collect Lionel Trains. That brings back memories!

Thanks for your input.

 

[Dina]

Gina,I truly hope it will only be a break. You have always given thoughtful
and helpful advice to everyone here. You have done so for me in the past
also,when I was having some doubts of my own. I can understand taking
a break for awhile for yourself or even to make a stand on your feelings
regarding certain issues...but If my vote counts,I would have you return.
My best -Dina

 

[Kathleen]

Gina I will miss your posts. I felt when I first joined with our ages being close and having multiple surgeries we had a kinship since not many have had heart issues for 30 years. If you decide to start a new forum please pm me. I would love to join you and share the knowledge we have.
Kathleen

 

[perrypiratesdad]

All I can say is this. This is Hank's living room (in a way). If you show up to Hanks place, and act out of hand, it would be understandable for hm to ask you to leave, and if you refuse, to have him throw you out.

Now, I have been away for some time, and just stumbled upon this, so I don't know what all happened. I am saddened to see any member who has been so valuable leave, but if that is your choice so be it. But we all need to remember, this is Hanks home. Be respectful, be kind, and treat others with love.

Gina, I wish you peace and happy days.

God bless,

John

 

[Duff Man]

I enjoyed the war room and I was kind of disappointed to see it go... but after giving it a little thought I think it's actually counter-productive for this forum. When you have a war-room type category, people are going to leave if they feel alienated... and people are the wealth of this forum - and of all forums.

When people leave this forum I believe it's particularly damaging to the utility of it, and I'm convinced it has serious real life consequences. When a person that's particularly well versed on cardiac issues leaves, they take with them the knowledge, advice and experience that might've helped 5, 10 or maybe hundreds of people in the years to come.

Gina, I think you should stay.

 

[Dina]

When a person that's particularly well versed on cardiac issues leaves, they take with them the knowledge, advice and experience that might've helped 5, 10 or maybe hundreds of people in the years to come.

Gina, I think you should stay.

Hear,Hear!!

 

[lance]

What sad news

What sad news

Geebee,
You can't begin to understand how your posting has affected me.
We don't share the same views about warfarin and that's OK. I've always valued your insightful postings on the subject. I think you know that.

We will miss your presence. Is there a way to influence you to stay?

Maybe the persons doing the complaining, if that's the problem, should just grow up.

Sandra/lance

 

[twinmaker]

Gina, I couldn't believe this when I saw it! I really hope you reconsider coming back. I've only been able to get on the site now and then over the past couple of months with recuping from my fall and other illnesses going on with different family members. Because of this, I just haven't been around as much so I don't know what's really been going on. But I do know this....you've always been one of the first people to respond when I've asked a question or had a request. We NEED people like you on this site. Please think about coming back! LINDA