Depression after OHS?

[a67emmamom]

Ok gang, I am seven weeks out from my mitral valve repair. Still feeling pain in my chest and back, still sleeping on my back. I am thinking I am experiencing symptoms of depression, and not real sure what to do, or who to see.

I last saw my surgeon at the six week mark, not scheduled to see the cardioligist until August. I am feeling somewhat abandoned! I am a single mom with a five year old, and have been home alone with her since six weeks. Whew! This is starting to sound like a soap opera!

I am feeling isolated, alone, anxiety attacks, insomnia. Crying spells, and feeling absolutely hopeless, for no reason. The surgeon and his staff said depression is normal, and it will pass. What will help me while waiting it out?

 

[hetmarie]

I'm sorry to hear you're having a roller coaster of emotions. I was very glad when my surgeon warned me about three days after surgery that it's completely normal to have some depression after such a major surgery and not to be worried if I have crying bouts. He wasn't kidding. I cried every day for weeks, often at the drop of a hat. Had he not warned me, I would have thought I was losing my mind. Can you talk to your primary care physician about maybe getting some kind of anxiety drug or something? I had clonazepam which helped and also just knowing it was normal and would pass. Life will get back to normal. There will be a day where you don't think about the surgery and the changes it caused in your life.

 

[Greg a]

Talk it out here as much as you can we all go through it ...............some hit the wall sooner than others ...when you get down think about all there is to be grateful for ....sounds cliched but it is valuable to think of children and family that you ARE ALIVE for and to be with .......it is normal and ,yes, it too will pass ....have you gone to a cardiac rehab or are you going to one ? It will provide outlets that you cannot phathom

For now vent all you can here in the forums

 

[Allisoninoz]

I think the first thing you should do is see your family doctor and explain exactly how you're feeling. Don't worry if you sob uncontrollably in his/her rooms. It's very, very, very common. I was on a mild anti-anxiety before my surgery and am still on it four months on (four months exactly tomorrow!). I expect I'll stay on it for some time yet.
Looking after your little girl on your own all the time is tough too. Do you have friends or family or are they all pretty useless? Does your daughter go to school or pre-school? Could you tell her teachers how rotten you're feeling and if they have any suggestions? Maybe they could link you with an in-school counselling program that could help you and your daughter (because she'd obviously be picking up how edgy you are). Or maybe they could talk to some other mums about helping you out.
But first thing ... get to your own family doctor. And if they say there's no appointments, just sit in the waiting room crying until they see you!!!
Good luck.

 

[a67emmamom]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I moved seven hundred miles away from my family for a job! They were all here during and after the surgery, but eventually had to return home. Friends are trying to help, but I don't know what to tell them to do! At times I just want to be left alone. My daughter is out of pre-k for the summer, but she can go to "summer camp" at her school during the day. But I feel guilty taking her and leaving her. I am a mess I know : ) I will get an appointment with my gp tomorrow.

I guess I am a little afraid of the "stigma" of going in begging for help. Some of the nurses at the hospital made me feel like an absolute addict when I would ask for pain medication the day after my surgery. Did anyone else feel that way? It was like a one nurse crusade to get me off pain meds as soon as possible. I sometimes wonered if they had some sort of pool going on.

 

[Jkm7]

Oh, my word........ those nurses were inappropriate. Wonder how stoic they would be to have their chest cracked open. At Mass General (one of the finest heart centers in the U.S.), my nurses told me straight out they consider pain control after OHS to be as important as blood pressure and fever control etc. They checked with me periodically to determine my level of pain and if I needed pain meds. I've had two OHS and both times it was like that. I'm sorry you had such inappropriate nurses.

BY ALL means, ask your GP for help. They all know depression is extremely common after any heart event including but not limited to surgery. Hopefully you will get a more supportive response.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You've walked a rough road and are sure to come out the other side just fine if you seek the help many of us need after our surgeries. Don't try to tough it out..... there's no need and probably not the best idea for your daughter to see you struggling.

ALL best wishes to you.
Please let us know how you are doing.

 

[sweetmarie]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I moved seven hundred miles away from my family for a job! They were all here during and after the surgery, but eventually had to return home. Friends are trying to help, but I don't know what to tell them to do! At times I just want to be left alone. My daughter is out of pre-k for the summer, but she can go to "summer camp" at her school during the day. But I feel guilty taking her and leaving her. I am a mess I know : ) I will get an appointment with my gp tomorrow.

I guess I am a little afraid of the "stigma" of going in begging for help. Some of the nurses at the hospital made me feel like an absolute addict when I would ask for pain medication the day after my surgery. Did anyone else feel that way? It was like a one nurse crusade to get me off pain meds as soon as possible. I sometimes wonered if they had some sort of pool going on.

Here's a little story. My second night in ICU I saw and spoke to my daughter and wife at around 22:00, my surgery had been at 16:30 the previous day. At around midnight, the staff shift change came in and I could see through the curtains a couple of young nurses, they were talking loud and laughing, swearing too. I didn't know at the time but I was probably the only one awake and conscious of what was going on (I'm not a heavy sleeper). I asked them if they could turn down the lights and be a little quieter. One of the nurses told me that they had studies to do and needed the light on, then told me to go to sleep and she would come and see me later.
Well my heart started to pump gallons and I'm sure my pressure shot through the roof, I now felt completely useless, plugged in and at the mercy of these "nurses". I started to feel anxiety, I needed some assurance that I was under good care. I asked to see the head of staff for the ICU. Then the nurses started to do their rounds and asking their patients if everything was alright, etc.
It was obvious these nurses were not doing their routine. I completely lost it, I asked for a phone so I could phone my wife and daughter, I needed them beside me, NOW. They were staying about a ten minute walk from the hospital, I knew that. When they arrived, about 01:00, they stayed each their turn beside me for the rest of the night.
I just wanted to share this with you, you are not alone that may have went through some stress at the hospital. It's behind me now, I feel good that I reported this to their superior, some sort of relief.
I wish you only the best recovery possible.

 

[jake]

Depression IS normal, but it WILL NOT go away on its own!

Depression IS normal, but it WILL NOT go away on its own!

Depression causes pain, pain causes depression, and it’s a vicious cycle that must be broken by appropriate intervention. I was highly depressed after OHS to fix my aorta and have been in therapy sense. I am emerging from the specter of depression and finding that I am a much better person for the help.

You can’t wait out depression but be careful not to fall into the "pop a pill" crowd. All too many therapists are very quick to prescribe and get you back on your couch. Get moving and active, get in to see someone if you need it.

Our mind sets up paths of pain through receptors and once those receptors have a "well beaten path" and become established, it takes a lot of time to un-do them and break up the cycle of pain. Most mental health professionals know this and can help you to un-wire the pain so you can begin to heel. If left un-checked, depression can cement those neurons into pain mode and begin a very difficult cycle to break.

Half of the battle is knowing what is going on. In that respect, it IS normal to be depressed about the pain and having to do this without a lot of moral support, but it is NOT going to just go away over time if you don’t know what is going on and address it.

Sorry if I am being redundant. I got help for the pain, OCD comes later. Best of luck to ya kid.

 

[LeakyUK]

I started anti-anxiety medication as soon as my heart problem was diagnosed ( I was in almost constant panic). I have reduced the dose, but will continue for some months. Depression is very normal post surgery. Your body and mind have been through a lot, and you are probably not getting enough rest. Do not be afraid to ask your GP for help.

 

[kfay]

You definitely need to reach out to your GP for help today. There is no need to feel shame, depression after OHS is VERY common. While I didn't have depression after my surgery, I did have a lot of anxiety for a while. I sought out a therapist who specializes in dealing with people who have medical issues. After just a few sessions, I felt much better and was able to control my anxiety. So, whether you needs some meds for a while, or some therapy, there is nothing wrong with either of these. You have been through a life changing event and it affects each of us differently. Just ask for help, it is there.


Kim

 

[Jen]

Oh my, you meintioned your daughter could go to a summer camp at her school, SEND HER! I am 2 weeks post AVR today, and my 7 year old goes daily to summer camp at a local university, he is worn out from the field trips they take and by the time he gets home, all his energy is gone. I am able to concentrate on myself during the day, walk, rest, whatever.. Please do not feel "guilty" asking for help. I am struggling myself with some crying spells and feeling useless because of what I can't do, but I think how lucky I am to have this "2nd" chance and how I need to accept whatever help is offered to me so that I can get better sooner and be what I need to be again for everyone. I don't have anyone to help either, but I flip it around and think about what gets laid in front of us for a reason... Please take whatever help is out there, never ever be ashamed to ask for help. And another thing, I think Greg mentioned it.. Put what you are feeling out here, I don't think there is ANYTHING that we experience, that someone else has not experienced or thought.. Take care!

 

[Mentu]

I am with Allison. Before my AVR, my doctor recommended that I read: Coping With Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression: A Family's Guide to the Medical, Emotional, and Practical Issues. One of the things it discusses is that depression is very common after heart surgery. No one actually knows why this should be but that doesn't make it any less of a problem. She recommended an antidepressant which I began taking before surgery because this type of depression usually developes as one is getting past the early weeks of recovery. Just when you need to be working harder, it can appear and really slow you down. I, too, say don't wait; speak with your doctor.

Larry

 

[a67emmamom]

Thank you all again for your responses. I see my GP tomorrow morning at eight. I did take my daughter to day camp today, and then sat in my truck and cried! She had fun, and I went home and slept uninterrupted for five hours. I am trying to count my many blessings as well, I DID wake up from a successful valve repair. I am not breathless walking to my mailbox and reading my little one a storybook. I just have to get out of this funk, with a little help. I will look for the book everyone is recommending also. Again, thanks for the support, I really don't feel as alone as I did last week.

 

[Jason]

Glad to hear you have an appointment. I didn't have the depression and crying, but I most certainly had the anxiety after the heart surgery. I couldn't help but worry about every little eventuality that might occur, until talking with my primary care physician. She put me on a very low dose of lexapro, and since then things have been much more normal. Hope your meeting goes well!

 

[Guest]

Whew! This is starting to sound like a soap opera!

*grins*

I'd say you still have your sense of humor!


Glad you have an appointment now. Thoughts/prayers en route.....



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[Guest]

My Dr. told me that depression was very common and that i should take something for it. He perscribed sleeping pills for me as i was not sleeping well and also xanax for my anxiety . YOu have a special challenge in that you have a young child to care for not to mention yourself. Please know that we don't mind if you cry here.. heart surgery is scary and once the surgery is over doesn't mean we are " all well" ... we have months of recovery and healing ahead. One day at a time...
hugs to you , margie

 

[Luana]

I wouldn't wait it out. It would probably be good for you to see a therapist rather than adding another medication. If you can find a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy, they have very good success in helping people out of depression.

 

[Sjrlax69]

I think I can relate to you on how I felt during my post op period. I am a college freshman who had to leave all my friends and new life at college to go home the second semester and undergo OHS. Post op was very hard because I had never felt so terrible in my life. Besides feeling terrible all day I felt alone and isolated sitting in my house all day with not a single friend to talk to. As time went by around the 2 and half month mark, I was able to get out of the house more and see people I knew. Now I am out and about and back to my social life, my depression like symptoms have gone with all the aches and pains post op. What I am trying to say is get out more if possible, also once you start to feel better physically you will start to improve mentally as well. I hope you feel better and if you just can't seem to get back on track its always a safe bet to talk to your doctor.

 

[Michelle D]

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this, most of us can empathize. I would first like to tell you that depression is treatable and responds very well to both therapy and drugs, but people who see a therapist vs. take drugs for depression are less likely to be depressed even a year after therapy. As soon as you get off drugs it can come back but with therapy you learn things that you keep with you and can use long after you stop seeing a therapist. Also some drugs will be thrown at you by your doctor, paxil, zoloft etc. I would like to tell you that both of which can cause SSRI discontinuation syndrome. Google it. I'm stuck on zoloft because of this. It is horrendous getting off of these drugs for some. So find yourself a liscenced mental health counselor (they can't prescribe meds and most are well aware that therapy is better than meds so there will be no pressure from a LMHC to take drugs, and they have the most training with actually therapy compared to psychologists and psychiatrists).

 

[CanoeBob]

I'm sorry as well for you feeling the ups and downs of your brain adjusting to the new normal. With me I jumped on the lorazapam bandwagon prior to surgery to help me sleep and keep the worry level down enough to see the solution. After surgery I weaned off that stuff, plus the oxy's both addictive. A few friends that used them recreationally have some horror stories that convinced me that staying on them for any longer than necessary was not a good idea. About 5-6 weeks after surgery with no anti depressants/aniety rx....whoa....it was becoming more and more difficult to see positive, prone to emotional outbursts, and constant worry. Started citalopram mid January and still on it. It takes about 2 weeks to kick in but relief..the curtains lifted in the windows. Even with ALOT of congitive training from therapists it was and still isn't enough for me to cope with life without the drug although it's addictive too. I'm still recovering 8 mths from surgery, and I can see the day where I can stop taking it, when I'm ready and my doctor concures.

Bob