Cold Turkey

[Rain]

We love you Tom!

We love you Tom!

Tom,

Family should always be the priority. For that reason I sometimes don?t visit the forum for days at a time. And there?s no way I could ever read all the posts!

I think if the truth be told.... most of our spouses at some point were not real happy with our new found heart buddies. They probably sense that there is something we get from each other that we cannot get from them.

The problem is... we really do love each other! That?s why you can?t just throw us away. You have to stop by and let us know you are okay and tell us of your adventures now and then. You have to!! I?m counting on it.

 

[Debrinha GT]

At least you were honest!

At least you were honest!

Hi Tom, you might no longer be reading any of the posts, but if you still are, I'd like to add something to what others have already said: everybody knows how my mother feels about me being here, and for a couple of weeks, Robert was going a bit funny about it too. As for my mum, she just had to accept it for I wasn't willing to give it up. I then had a very serious talk to Robert and told him that I simply wouldn't accept him telling me what to do in that aspect for it's my life that is at stake and I really do need all the support I can get. Also, I somehow feel it's my duty to help others, and that's what I try to achieve here. I also told him that if he tried to emotionally blackmail me into abandoning VR, he would be taking something really precious away from me, and if I got depressed or sicker as a result of it, he would be to blame. I know some of you will probably think that I was too hard on him, but I just can't pretend I agree with something if I don't, and it's my life I'm talking about which's something I've been fighting for since I was a child. Then I went to my bed and left him to think it over. The next morning, I was very surprised when he came and gave me a big hug, and also apologized for having tried to corner me. He explained that he didn't mean to get me to leave VR, but reduce my time here instead because he was worried I might get too dependent on you and the site. He's always been very helpful and it was him who taught me all I know about computers and the internet. A few days later, he decided to get me a mike and webcam so that I could communicate better with the people I chat with. Since then, it's been great and I've never had any more problems with him about it. I still spend a lot of time here which doesn't mean I neglect my family and friends at all, quite the opposite: although I have my ups and downs, we can have a lot of quality time together and well, what's wrong with having you lot in my life too as long as I'm not leaving them out?! One advantadge that they've also seen is that I can solve a lot of my emotional problems and worries here thus sparing them from having to put up with my moods whenever I'm upset about something. There have been a few occasions when I had already had a problem solved by the time Robert came home from work. Anyway Tom, by telling you this, I am not trying to get you to do the same thing for each situation is different. I'm only telling you what it was like for me and what I thought I should do seeing that I haven't had my surgey yet, and having you all to help me cope with the whole issue, is priceless. Thanks for all the times you were around to help me too and I do hope to hear from you again one of these days. I'm happy you've brought your problem into the open instead of simply disappearing. We'll always be here for you, don't forget that! Take care and God bless!

Débora

 

[chilihead]

Tom,

Thanks so much for coming to see me when I was in the hospital in Dallas. Best of luck and continued good health.

Regards,

Jim

 

[Mark Wagner]

Hi Tom,
I understand where you are coming from. It is difficult to train in such an intense and demanding activity, and balance the damands of your spiritual and family life. Please keep up your running, but maybe at a lower level, and after giving your self a break from VR, check in maybe once a week or so. Tom, if you remember ... I went through the same thing. I think a lot of it was physical and mental fatigue, and guilt of not taking care of things around the house. God, family, and then myself. You will find putting your priorities in that order, Peace and lifes demands and proper rest will fall into place. Take all the time you need my friend; and I do not use the term 'friend' lightly.

Keep in touch brother ... Mark

 

[tommy]

Thanks

Thanks

Thanks for you care and concern. I'm doing fine. The reason that I felt the need to back away from VR.com so abruptly was that I found that I was sharing more with y'all than my family. That's an unhealthy trend for a marriage and a family. I had to start correcting that at home first. Sorry for the drama.

Running takes a lot of time. It wasn't only the time commitment, but being tired most weekends due to a long or strenous run. That put a crimp on our social life - basically put it out of business. I was often emotionally unavailable with so many things on my plate. I was enjoying the new found energy and performance, but there was nothing in it for my wife, except more time alone. That isn't really fair.

I am continuing to run, but am adjusting the schedule to avoid most weekends (giving myself limits). MWF early morning runs. One long run per month and occasional races on weekends. I still intend to run the Dallas White Rock Marathon in December and a Half Mary in November, but have scaled back my time goals to reduce the pressure to get in every prep run. I guess that's the point - take the running less seriously and simply enjoy it.

I still marvel at the thought of enjoying running after spending 48 years despising it. What a blessing! I will forever be in debt to you on this forum for that paradigm shift.

My wife and I are finding more things to do together including walks in the morning and hot tubbing in the evening. Those are good for communication. We are considering joining a hiking club at our church. We are in the middle of Texas high school football and marching band season. My son (college-bound senior) is in the band (all 500 of them - that's another story). The football team is doing well. Friday night football and Saturday band competitions are a blast.

My frequency around here will be less than previous, but I'm not going anywhere. I wish that I could help everyone every time, but with 1120 of you (us), there is a lot of support to go around.

My continued love and gratitude to everyone.

 

[Sherry]

Wow, Tom, 500 in your marching band? And I thought our 220 was big. And we're one of the biggest in the state. By the way, this has nothing to do with anything, but since you mentioned Texas football, that new movie Friday Night Lights looks really good. We've been watching the promos on it on ESPN all week. Are you familiar with the high school program being featured in that film?

 

[tobagotwo]

See you're back for a quick visit tonight. Nice to see you post a bit. Glad you're well. See you next time.

Best wishes,

 

[tommy]

Thanks, Bob. I thought that I had responded to Sherry earlier, but I don't see it now. Hmmmmmmmm.

The band has 490 instruments plus 35 in the color guard (flags), and 40 more in the drill team. They take up the whole field and put out quite a sound! We have not been able to find a bigger band anywhere including colleges. If anyone knows of one, please pass it back to me. If you are interested, you can check out the web site http://www.alleneagleband.org

I just saw another promo for the new movie. One of the jerseys says "Permian". that would be Odessa Permian in west Texas. A fitting setting. Permian is a perennial powerhouse. In west Texas, high school football is king.

Later.

 

[catwoman]

Tom:

Great website! My nephew-in-law is an Allen High School grad (probably class of about 1992, I think). His wife and my other niece were both in the band at Garland High School; older one was drum major her senior year.