Cold Feet! Second Thoughts ?! :(

[Tiger]

So....after my last TEE in October my cardiologist ruled my condition severe (just. Borderline from moderate-severe- Ava 1.0 & pressure grad. 42) He said that if I wanted more children I should get it replaced before another pregnancy and that I did make it through my first one well and probably could through another one but he thought it would be too risky. And if it didn't have another pregnancy they would just watch it very closely. So, I met with a surgeon and he also explained how pregnancy really puts a toll on the heart and I scheduled my surgery and it's in 2 weeks!!!
But I am having second thoughts about this...I kind of feel rushed into it...we are doing it in December to avoid high costs due to our insurance policy changing in January. Do I really want more children? I'm pretty sure I do, I have so much stuff to get done before this...idk I'm just feeling rushed and confused and not sure what to do. What if I don't have anymore children and this valve could last me another 10 years before I have to do anything about it? And now I have to deal with possible complications, recovery, possible blood thinners where I am doing just fine now physically. I am questioning maybe I could have another safe closely monitored pregnancy?! (I did well during my first) Or am I just nuts? Idk if this is normal thinking before surgery or maybe I am just crazy, I just don't feel ready yet to do this...especially being away from my 7 month old daughter! But I guess it has to get done eventually so why not get it over with? Idk....any thoughts? Thanks...

 

[dick0236]

.........But I guess it has to get done eventually so why not get it over with? Idk....any thoughts? Thanks...

You have answered your own question. With being only two weeks from surgery it is very normal to have the pre-surgery "jitters".....I certainly did. Take a deep breath and realize that once your surgery is over...it's over, and you can raise your daughter...and more children if you decide too.

 

[Duffey]

You've raised questions that only you can answer, but it seems that the timing of the surgery is a major sticking point. If you're willing to wait until your insurance changes in January, that's one fewer issue that you'd face. However, if your condition is now being labeled severe, it's probable that you will be facing replacement in the next year or two. I don't think you will get another 10 years out of your valve.
Best wishes as you go forward,
Mary

 

[Paleowoman]

I feel pressurised having my AVR in January without the other issues you are having to consider, so I can't imagine how difficult a decision this is for you.

To be honest, I think cardiologists and surgeons should give us more notice if at all possible. For years I thought that when the time came it could all be planned and done calmly with no rush, but once my cardiologist referred me to the surgeon it was rush. Next time I'm going to insist that things are done with more notice so I can have more say. Once they say it's "severe" there's this rush you are experiencing.

Wishing you the best in whatever you decide.

 

[Rachel]

I feel pressurised having my AVR in January without the other issues you are having to consider, so I can't imagine how difficult a decision this is for you.

To be honest, I think cardiologists and surgeons should give us more notice if at all possible. For years I thought that when the time came it could all be planned and done calmly with no rush, but once my cardiologist referred me to the surgeon it was rush. Next time I'm going to insist that things are done with more notice so I can have more say. Once they say it's "severe" there's this rush you are experiencing.

Wishing you the best in whatever you decide.

I guess I'm on the other end of this spectrum....for me I was given 10 days notice before I had my surgery - and I'm so glad that once I saw the surgeon I was as good as in!!!

For me (and for me only - you've got to go with YOUR OWN comfort level) - but I'd rather get it done - get it over with - and move on with the important task of living.....

I wish you the best in your decision.

 

[AZ Don]

The surgery is not as big a deal as it seems and it sounds like it is inevitable so I wouldn't worry so much about the recovery. It isn't so bad and no matter what choice you make you will likely be having surgery some day pretty soon. If you are considering another pregnancy, it's my understanding the risks in pregnancy are higher with a mechanical valve (I double checked and found this to confirm: http://www.cfp.ca/content/55/2/155.full), but if you are then planning on a biological valve it is likely that you will have to one day replace it. Some people have had multiple surgeries w/o issue and I chose to spare my valve, taking a 50% chance that I will have to have another surgery to replace it one day. Given that your surgeon thinks pregnancy is too risky w/o surgery, then if you want to keep your options open I would think the suggestion would be to get a biological valve. If you are ready to rule out more kids then generally a mechanical valve is recommended based on your age, though in the end this is a personal decision.

You have more factors to consider than most but it's common to be nervous before surgery. All I can suggest is to get informed about your various options, make a choice and then go with it. Good luck to you.

 

[Agian]

I am questioning maybe I could have another safe closely monitored pregnancy?!

But, can you imagine how scary that would be for you?

 

[ski girl]

As for feeling rushed - you've gone to see a surgeon about something you want fixed, and fixed before it gets expensive for you, and he is offering to do that. That's what you asked for? If you had an issue with the plumbing in your house and the plumber said 'I can come sometime in March' would that be OK? Surgeon is really just a plumber, just a rather specialised one.

However, if I were in your shoes with a baby under one, I'd be in no rush to get pregnant again so I'd let my valve progress naturally and have the surgery when I need it. But then I don't know the story behind your health insurance and how much surgery later on is going to cost you. If that cost will definitely be impossible to deal with, you get the operation now. You're not going to avoid this surgery. Hope that helps, good luck with your decision and know that heaps of us on these forums have had the same surgery and are EXTREMELY happy with the results!!

 

[Tiger]

Thank you all for your replies. I think I am somewhat In denial about my surgery and just very nervous as the day gets closer and closer... I had a long talk with my husband last night and we are just having so much fun raising our daughter and really would love more children soon. It also would be better to have them while we are still young (I'll be 28 next month). Also with the insurance we have the new HSA plan so if my surgery were in January we could have to pay up to 8,000$ and if it is in December we will pay nothing since I've reached my deductible. I know, kind of a no-brainer! I'm just feeling very anxious about this surgery and questioning myself and I just want to make the right decision. I don't want to have to do this if it's not necessary now and I guess I was just really hoping there would be a way to put it off longer.
I will be going with a bovine valve too in hopes to have future Pregnancies.
I wish I didn't have to go through this! but I should be thankful things could be way worse.

 

[Duffey]

Best wishes moving forward.