Change in sense of humor since surgery

[tigerlily]

This is indeed a very interesting thread. I often wonder how experiencing heart surgery has affected other people and would love to hear more. Has anyone made a big shift in their lives as a result or their experience? Changed jobs, careers, locations, relationships, etc.? I think I take myself more seriously than before and that's not good. I've had several surprise health issues that were serious and worry what could happen next. I would really like to change that if, like Marguerite said, it's a choice and not something more complicated requiring intervention.

I think how you respond to OHS has a lot to do with how safe you felt as a child growing up. I didn't live in a safe environment in those days. In fact, anything could happen and did. That may sound weird to some of you but your world view is formed to a large extent by your early experiences and tends to stay with you for better or worse. It can be changed but it takes a lot of effort.

For me personally, I have to work hard to stay on the positive. To mind my thoughts and keep them positive and never forget that I can't get through this life by myself. I'm not strong enough. I need my friends, my ever understanding family, and God to help me everyday. I also need to work on being less about me. This is a great place to work on that.

I hope you get your sense of humor back soon Distances. I know you miss it. Don't give up until you do.

 

[cam4est]

I agree this is an interesting thread. I have never had a particularly robust since of humor but I have noticed that since these last 2 surgeries that I seek more opportunities for fun and time with those I love. After the first PVR in '04 I spent '05 having as much fun as I could fit into my time before my 2nd surgery became necessary. Honestly I am not sure I am over the shock of having it again in '05. But I do appreciatel my friends and family more, feel more grateful about my life and try to laugh often. I noticed that I am better off since backing off of work this past month and I think I have found that I do not want to push myself at teh same level as I did before the surgeries. So I hope that if anyone is having trouble reclaiming their old self/humor that it is worth evaluating if meds/therapy will help. Good luck to you. Karen

 

[Barbara Stewart]

Very interesting thread

Very interesting thread

Distances, thank you for starting this thread. Am I different now after my surgeries? You bet I am. I'm seven months past my last surgery and that was eight months after the first. My life has changed so much and at the moment I'm not happy about it.

I have found that I cannot work and that I can't be sure I'm going to feel good from day to day. I've had to stop caring for my grandson, at least for now. That little boy got me through a lot of rough days over the last year and a half, and he's only six months. Yes, I'm depressed. I spent two weeks working at Sam's Club and am still recovering from that. My blood pressure is up and it hurts when I take my first breaths when I wake up. I have an appointment with my cardio Tuesday and I'm hoping he will tell me if my heart is OK.

I've been positive about the future and that it will improve and so will my strength, but at the moment, I am afraid THIS might be my future and it doesn't seem great to me.

Sorry for being so mauldlin, but I am just down right now. Things will get better. As for my sense of humor, I think it's just a bit more warped now. I've always had a different sense of humor, not nasty or anything, just different.

Ross, I love you, you're a breath of fresh air.

Barbara

 

[MelissaM]

It almost sounds like the pendulum of life swinging back and forth. . . .

Those that were *too serious* before surgery got a wake up call and swung the other way into the *have more fun and appreciate life* category. . .

Those that were in *party, have fun, and take it easy* mode got a wake up call that serious things CAN happen. . .and suddenly take life more seriously . . .

And those lucky few who were already in the middle got to stay in the middle. . .

Me? I just keep swingin' back and forth like a monkey!

p.s.
Have you ever noticed that children often swing the opposite way of thier parents (i.e., if their parents were strict, they are more lienient), and then THEIR children swing the pendulum right back (i.e., thinking their parents were too easy on them)? Life is funny that way. . .the pendulum keeps on swingin'

 

[Marguerite53]

I think how you respond to OHS has a lot to do with how safe you felt as a child growing up. I didn't live in a safe environment in those days. In fact, anything could happen and did. That may sound weird to some of you but your world view is formed to a large extent by your early experiences and tends to stay with you for better or worse. It can be changed but it takes a lot of effort.

QUOTE]

Tigerlily. You may have a very good point. Interestingly, that is the one thing I had an abundance of, the feeling of saftey, and the one thing I chose to make sure my children felt they had growing up. Of course, in this day and age with things blowing up every which way, who really feels safe, for sure? My own mother had about the saddest childhood of anyone I know. Lost their father when she was 7, moved countless times (countless towns and schools), had to go into foster homes (this in the 1930's....dismal), separated from her sister. Then acquired an alcoholic for a stepfather. She has a very insecure and somewhat depressive personality (aha, Melissa.....the pendulum??) but she has an excellent sense of humor and is a social delight around people. She had some very serious and scary health problems (breast cancer, hemotoma so close to the brain that they had to drain it....yicky....required physical therapy sessions). She just approached them with a no nonsense, let's take care of this so I can get back to normal (gee, have I thanked her enough for the amazing role model she was to me?) So I just don't know if we can pinpoint it or not. Her mother (my grandmother) made the best she could of everything (you know, took apart each others dresses and put them back together to form 3 new frocks, etc..) and laughed at herself quite readily.

So it seems to me like it's more about what we are made up of. Then, if the happy-go-lucky, glass half-full, confident persona is what we all seek, and "they" have found that people without that may have a chemical imbalance for some unknown reason (wish we had a reason) wouldn't it seem prudent for those who may be experiencing the imbalance to try some chemical form to modify that balance.

Many of us have said that the massive doses of drugs of all sorts that we heart patients are forced to ingest have left us out of whack. There is a natural homeostasis that the body seeks. I suspect there is an mental homeostasis (am I using the right word here?) too. Certainly those who feel as if they are not normal in their emotional or mental repsonse to things are really ahead of the game since they are cognizant of it.

Ok. I'm starting to ramble some. Again. Interesting thread.

Marguerite

 

[gadgetman]

I think I'm wackier than ever. And I laugh at myself ALOT!

Ain't a gonna say it, ain't a gonna say it---------Oh, to heck with it.

Don't worry----we laugh AT you too!!!!!!!!

I was a basket case when I survived my OHS. I cried at the least little thing (even commercials ) for a long time. Had a good cry at the last show of "NYPD Blue" (just after my OHS)!!! But now I'm getting back to my old ways, as Mary and Bonnie can verify!!!!

Just stay here and we will help you get that sense of HUMOR back. Well, maybe not Christina L (lighten up GIRL!!!!!!)! Ross, I think its time for a "Gorilla Gram "!!!!

May God Bless,

Danny (a.k.a.; Bubba, Gadget-Wadget, etc.)

 

[Granbonny]

Every time I look at my avatar..I burst out laughing. That IS THE Mary and Danny (Bubba).......Bonnie

 

[geebee]

I have kept my sense of humor, if anything, it has become more enchanced. As Nancy said, once you have been through so much, laughter is much better than crying. However, I still have no sense of humor when I am on the road with awful drivers - no sense of humor whatever.
After my last OHS, I had such a problem with speaking (couldn't find the right words for what I wanted to say). It became such a joke between my SO and myself that we still make up words for things. It starts us laughing all over again.
My sister and I remember my Mom fondly by remembering the things Mom did when she was early in her Alzheimer battle. My Mom was so confirmed in her belief of things that weren't there, she had us believing she was right and we were wrong. We all kept our sense of humor through this time because it made things easier. It was laughter or insanity for all.
I also make sure I start each day by smiling at myself in the mirror. I try to remember that feeling all day.

 

[Granbonny]

Another thing..I think it is who you have to work with..My daughter has a great job, great Boss, ect...Boss is even having..bring your dog to work day. Next week. I know my Granddog will enjoy it.. Poor thing..has to stay home all day and guard the cats. (from his dog dish) On the other hand, my son..the Policeman is always serious..I'm sure he has so much stuff to deal with everyday..plus getting up at 4 a.m. .....He had to go on B/p meds a few months ago..So much stress?And only age 35...The only time he is happy..is when he buys him a Boy-toy..Bought a pontoon this summer..and has enjoyed the Lake.. He loves his job, tho..and I think I have never been out with him..that people didn't stop and shake his hand..Many, many friends.....Bonnie

 

[dkapuscik]

I agree that he whole experience can change your outlook in life? The best thing I did was get some anti depressants from my doctor. That has really turned me around.