Career - Post AVR Operation

[Rush20]

I was wondering how many of you approached your career post operation? I was 40 years old when I had my AVR due to a bicuspid, failing valve and in my "career prime" (whatever that means). Up to that point, I was climbing the corporate ladder and seemed to enjoy the challenges, etc.

Post operation, it feels like I'm stuck in the mud. At times I feel like "damaged goods" from the corporate management perspective. Even though I have been with a major communications company for close to 20 years, I feel as though I'm starting over career wise. Post surgery, I moved my family from Chicago to Florida thinking I needed a fresh start. Although my family is happy, I often wonder if I made the right career choice.

My second area of concern is over the potential re-operation. Although I chose a mechanical valve that is supposed to last for life, I understand through posts on this board and additional research that there are still potential connective tissues disorders, etc. that may creep up later on.

Third, I'm concerned my post-operative meds are playing into my career. The Toprol XL and Altace slow my heartbeat down in an effort to keep my hypertension under control. As a result, I feel as though I'm stuck in 3rd gear both personally and professionally.

I'm thinking of making a career change or at least an organizational change for potential advancement and increased responsibility, however I tend to talk myself out of any change in fear of losing seniority (not that that means anything anymore), healthcare, short term disability, long term disability and other benefits associated with a large company.

I guess my biggest fear would be changing jobs and companies and then a short time later, finding out I need an additional operation, etc.

I hate feeling like this because when I was younger I was known as someone who challenged groupthink and made some successful, out of the box choices. Now, all I think about is status quo and not losing what I have accomplished thus far.

I know this is more emotional than physical, however it's really starting to wear on me.

Thanks for listening.

 

[Ross]

Is it real or imagined? Our heads play some wonderful games on us when it comes to thinking about how the world sees us. Sometimes, it is true. People think we are damaged because it was our heart that was at fault. You need to push them to realize that it's much more common then they ever thought and that your not as damaged as they may think.

Your second worry----Why worry about it? Can you do anything to change it? Many go through life never having a problem afterwards. You certainly don't want to waste your time worrying about things that are beyond your control and that may never happen.

3rd-Outside of seeing if your Doc can put you on something else less taxing, this you may have to deal with.

Don't be in any hurry to change careers now. Sit tight and see where this goes. If it's truly at a dead stand still, then I guess moving on is the next course of action, but don't burn the bridge yet.

 

[Cooker]

My 2 cents: As far as your health and re operation, who knows. I have a St Jude for the same reason but I may need another OHS in the future...hope not but who the hell knows. Number two...as far as the meds go check with your doc. I take toprol and it took me a bit to adjust but I did. Third....as far as careers go I graduated in engineering and did it for 17 years. By the time I got laid off (thank God although I did not think so at the time) I hated it. I changed careers and have never looked back. Hind sight really is 20/20,,,, Go forward young man.

Tom

 

[Bina]

Allen, I hear you.
I always feel like I am damaged goods and I think a big part of it with me is that I don't feel in control of my life like before the OHS.
Your confidence has been shaken up, (me too)...it is a common feeling.
Try not to make any hasty decisions, somethimes things just fall into place.

 

[MaryC]

Allen,
I also work for a large company (for 16 yrs) and had mitral valve repair surgery in February. A few years ago I contemplated leaving the company to do something different but nothing ever came of it. Now with my health condition I have decided to stick it out with the hope of leaving with some sort of medical and financial benefits. Yes, I said hope because you never know what might change. I am on Toprol - 200mg/day, which is quite a high dosage, but my doctor put me on this dosage for specific reasons. In the last few weeks I do feel myself being brought down but am hoping if my positive recovery continues, my dosage will be reduced and I will lose some of this heavy feeling and gain some of my career drive back.

What I'm not sure of is, are these feelings a result of my surgery/medication - or - a result of all of the changes the employees have been through for the last several years that work for the company. When I talk to my friends at work who were also 'go getters', we all seem to feel the same way.

 

[Jim P]

In no way do I feel like ?damaged goods?. I believe that I have been given a new life by insightful detection of the congenital valve problem by my PCP, the wonders of medical science, and the skill of my surgeon. Without the surgery and valve replacement, I could have been a dead man by now, or sometime in the near future. I rejoice daily at life in general.

Maybe surgery has changed my outlook, but I now do not think that ?career?, ?career advancement?, and ?corporate ladder? are not what is important in life. You are in a wonderful area in Bradenton/Lakewood Ranch, you are alive and healthy -- enjoy your new life and family time. However, I do believe that you are in a good position with medical benefits available from your company, if you should need them. That would be a major consideration to me, if I were you.

 

[Natanni]

We have talked about a career change for my husband also, but we always wind up against a brick wall; Where is he is at, there is a huge demand on him physically and mentally, but in a way...it keeps him going (not to mention 4 wks off in the summer d/t seniority). Danger around ever corner, literally lol. One of his friends/co-workers lost an eye due to a box falling on her head. I sweat it out every day, worrying of falling boxes or slipping on ice but he is managing fine . It appears to always come down to health insurance for us. Even with his mechanical, we are well aware of the "What if..." involved. I have worked as a nurse for 15+ years, and could never offer him the health benefits he gets with the Teamsters.

I want to just fast foward the next 20 years and retire

Good luck with your decisions.

 

[geebee]

Really tough call. I have worked for a few companies since my first OHS. A couple of these have been large companies (one for 10 years) and the rest small companies. I had my third OHS while working for the "10 year" company and only had negative issues with one person. Unfortunately that person seemed to follow me around and never made me feel comfortable (long explanation so I will not go into it here). I chose to leave that company because I felt I was being undermined.

2 weeks ago I started a new job and they have no knowledge of my medical history. I have no intention of discussing it unless it affects my ability to do my job. I don't worry about it too much because I feel there are chances anyone takes in life. A perfectly healthy person could have an accident after starting a new job - things just happen that we have no control over.

I think you should do what you want to do and not worry about what others think. On that same note, you should try to make sure you are really stuck where you are if you like the company you are with. If you don't like the company or the people, you have your answer.

 

[dick0236]

To: Rush 20

To: Rush 20

I imagine there have been many, many HV patients that have fought the "demons" you are fighting.....I know I did, for far too long. For me, playing the "what if" game prooved to be a total waste of time and talent.

A friend gave me a prayer a number of years ago that I still use often. I think it covers all the bases.

"God, grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the the things I can and the WISDOME TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE."

 

[Rush20]

Thanks for all the replies and additional insight. I know I don't post as often as I did immediately post op when I found this site, however I truly appreciate the feedback and I try to add my 2 cents when appropriate concerning other members' concerns and questions.

I think Bina and Mary hit the nail on the head in terms of confidence and corporate culture. My company is large enough and with my cross-country transfer my medical history isn't shared unless I choose to share it.

Yes Jim, the SW Florida coast is a beautiful place to live. The primary reason I chose to move is that we have extended family up and down the SW Florida coast line from Naples up through Tampa and it was important for my children to be near family. Chicago is a great, dynamic city that I miss at times (especially when the White Sox won the World Series the year I moved)

I guess my true concern is that after OHS, it feels as though I've lost my drive to advance. Corporate sales culture is designed for you to keep moving or get rolled over - Manage your career or someone else will manage it for you. Sometimes just "doing your job" isn't enough. We recently had a couple of career opportunities/positions that many people thought I would apply for. I chose not to and I think it raised eyebrows with my sr. executives as to why someone with my experience did not pursue the position. What could be interpreted as lack of desire is really fear of additional changes that result in heart-related stressors, such as higher blood pressure, etc. I have struggled with 140-85ish hypertension since my surgery - I clocked in at 120/80 prior so my cardio can't understand after two years of meds, why we can't get it down consistently. I exercise regularly, don't smoke, eat right, my weight is fine, however he thinks I worry too much and live a hectic a lifestyle with long commutes, travel, etc. Perhaps he's right.
(Crackberry anyone?)

I was hoping, like other kind members of this site., to experience some type of life revelation after OHS that would help me put everything in perspective, however I can't honestly say I've felt that happen. I'm a spiritual person, I attend church regularly and I'm very grateful for this new lease on life, however I remember hearing that there is a difference between being grateful and being happy and that's where I'm stuck. Before OHS, if I wasn't happy about something, I would change it. Now, it seems as though I'm scared of pulling the trigger in fear of losing what I have, in this case health benefits and seniority in the event there would be future medical issues.

Believe me, if I was single and 25 this would be a no brainer. However as a husband, father of two small children and the primary "bread winner", the decisions don't come as easy.

 

[Smedly]

Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive Dissonance

Rush, I just finished a good book by Apgar, discussing Risk. It talks about manageable risk, learning about risk, etc. What we fear is the helplessness from not being about to assess risk. On the one hand is the Warren Buffett principle "Lose no principal" Ok, seems like slow and steady, and look at him!
I worked in the corporate world for 20 years, laid off, rehired, laid off again. Best thing I did was switch careers and now I teach. I know my wife, surgery for aortic valve and root Aug.3 is re-evaluating her life. Alot has to do with timing.

Her recent goal for last 6 years (after diagnosis) was to get both our sons into college - a "putting affairs in order" type thing. Now they're almost finished, so time for risk (surgery).

I know with bread winner, kids, etc. your situation is different. Perhaps if you can get his book (browse at Barnes & Noble!) it might shed some light.

Take care,
Bob

 

[KAJ]

Allen,

I can definitely relate to you. I think we have to look for a balance after OHS. In some ways, I am more open to other opporutnities. I was offered and accepted a promotion about a year and a half after my OHS. I realized the stress level would be higher but thought it would be manageable.There were also other pros and cons. Due the uncertainty in today's work world, I am hoping the position will also prepare me for other potential opportunities.

However, my boss recently asked me to consider applying for another position should it come open. It would mean a move to another part of the country. I am open to moving but not to that particular location. The stress level would most certainly be increased, and the position is not suited to my personality. I think we have to take a careful look at each potential opportunity and then decide if it is or is not right for us.

Karl

 

[Kathleen]

Sounds like you need to do something that gives you personal satisfation. You can never get that feeling when you are climbing the corporate ladder. That may be when you find what you need to fill that hole in your heart.

 

[Guest]

I was hoping, like other kind members of this site., to experience some type of life revelation after OHS that would help me put everything in perspective, however I can't honestly say I've felt that happen.

Hmmm...very sorry you haven't experienced that.

I did ... but not in terms of a career. Mine was in terms of BEING happy ... and not feeling sad/bitter all the time.


As for the career, I started a new job last October and love it. Course, I hate the commute....I love to drive, but hate traffic. I've been satisfied with it since ... and look forward to learning and doing more as the months go by. I found out earlier this week that a friend of mine ... 10 years younger than me ... is making about double what I am. Sometimes, I think I chose the wrong career path ... but, I don't like the idea of going back to school ... to get more student loans ... to move "up".

*sighs*

As for your situation ... have you discussed your feelings with your wife? Sometimes, I wish I had someone to discuss things with.... In this case, she might be able to help you decide TO take some risks....ya never know what lies ahead anyway .



Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker
WRMNshowcase.lego.HO.model.MCs.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"I've traveled so far to change this lonely life" ... Foreigner ... 'I Want To Know What Love Is'

 

[WayneGM]

I feel for you, Allen, as I'm going through a bit of a career crisis myself. For my whole life up to this point, things seemed to follow a pretty predictable course and I thought my life was on a relatively straight road. In the past couple of years since I was informed I needed OHS, I've come to realize that life can take a detour at anytime without warning. So now, I'm taking one day at a time. My revelation from OHS was that life is too fragile to take for granted. Do what you are comfortable with, and makes you happy, not what you think other people expect. Good luck and best wishes.

 

[jeffp]

I have to echo what most everyone else has said. I understand exactly what you are going through. Though I have a few years on you, I was at the top of my career and then out of the blue - WHAM - I'm on the OR table. As things would have it, I was never able to go back to my 'past life'. Went through al the requisite stages, finally picked myself up and started at life ver. 2.0. I have a new career, having a great time and my co-workers think I'm nuts because nothing seems to get to me. I guess after what we've all been through, most other stuff seems kinda petty.
It's really true, we can live on less than we think, all the stuff isn't so important, and being happy beats killing yourself working for a few more dollars than having fun at it.
(Also, look into the Toprol. I was one of those folks that just couldn't function on it. Felt 100x better after it got out of my system.)

 

[briansmom]

I'm not sure that I have any insights, but my son is only 17 and his heart is working at 32% of normal. He works for our company right now, but I don't know how he could go get another job. He has to take off so much time for doctor visits/rehab etc. that even I wouldn't let him work here if he were not my son. My husband and I worry about retiring and selling the company - will we ever be able to? Brian has a lot of years to support himself (hopefully) and I think it is going to be a difficult task given his health issues. So my point to that is for you to at least look at the bright side of your situation. On the other hand, even as the mom of the patient, the OHS has seriously taken the wind out of my sails. My career has been a big part of my identity and now I just don't care as much. It makes me feel like I am in limbo. My answer has been "just do it" (to borrow from Nike). Even when I don't feel like being a CEO, I just fake it until I get motivated again. Obviously, I have a lot of flexibility since I am the owner, but I feel for you. Give yourself some time to adjust to your new "normal".