Hope this isn't read by all. It's just the rants and raves post-op.
Blood check yesterday. ExActly on where the blood people want it, but it got there so fast that is will overshoot to the low site now.
Took a short (long half mile) walk with my wife and ranted and raved all the way. I know I'm not into depression at this point but it still annoying to only be able to walk at half speed. I think (and rant) about what I know I can do and what I know I should do (pay attention to those who care for me) and it is frustrating to "feel" I can walk briskly around a 2 mile block and I "know" if I stroll out more than 1/4 mile, I better have a place to rest on the way back. I want everyone to do everthing for me including listening to my rants, I know if they do I'll be taking care of myself totally while they go shopping to get away. I also don't want them to do anything for me that I can do myself but I know they need a piece of the action too. They already have a stake in this by "just" sitting in the waiting room or by the telephone and it's unfair for me to think I'm the only one in this. If I sit still for one minute so I don't feel the itch or minor pain it's easier to focus on others and what they are going through. Then I twitch or cough or sneeze (actually haven't sneezed for at least 12 days) and I am reminded again that I am the center of the universe.
All of this is irrational and I will be normal. It's only been 12 days with who knows how long to go. I have to push myself and at the same time hold my self in check to get healthy but not break or tear something.
It's frustrating and I know every one goes through the same thing at some level.
End of "Rant of the Day"
