Debbie
Well-known member
Hello everyone, just thought I'd ask if anyone has any good cow jokes since I have a bovine pericardial valve?? Hope there funny 
Debbie
Debbie 
Anyone have any cow jokes??
- Thread starter Debbie
- Start date
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Ask and you shall receive....
From SimplyBovine.com
A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this" said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. Thats when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?", asked the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, "Hey! This looks like yours!"
A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this" said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. Thats when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?", asked the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, "Hey! This looks like yours!"
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers.
What is a cow's favourite candy bar?
Jersey Milk
Why do cows wear bells?
their horns don't work.
What kind of milk do you get from an invisible cow?
Evaporated milk.
What do you call a cow with a crown?
Dairy queen.
What do you call a cow who just had a baby?
Decaffeinated.
What do you get when a cow falls down?
Ground Beef.
Milk and quackers.
What is a cow's favourite candy bar?
Jersey Milk
Why do cows wear bells?
their horns don't work.
What kind of milk do you get from an invisible cow?
Evaporated milk.
What do you call a cow with a crown?
Dairy queen.
What do you call a cow who just had a baby?
Decaffeinated.
What do you get when a cow falls down?
Ground Beef.
WendyD
Well-known member
A middle aged farming couple attended a farm show and were looking at the livestock for sale.
The wife saw a huge bull and above the pen was a sign,
"Prize Bull - mated 50 times last year" The wife has a little snigger and digs the husband in the ribs and says "You could learn a lot from him dear !! "
The next pen had another bull, but this time the sign said
"Prize Bull -mated 100 times last year" The wife exclaims "Gee Whiz , you really could learn a lot from him too dear !! "
The next pen had a really huge bull and this time the sign above read
"Prize Bull - mated 150 times last year"
The wife is beside herself and really prods the poor husband in the ribs and says to him, "Dear , you really should go and ask the bull his secret!"
The husband replies,"No Dear, I think that YOU should go and ask him if the 150 times was with the same old cow everytime !!!"
The farmer was hospitalised , but expects to make a full recovery !!
The wife saw a huge bull and above the pen was a sign,
"Prize Bull - mated 50 times last year" The wife has a little snigger and digs the husband in the ribs and says "You could learn a lot from him dear !! "
The next pen had another bull, but this time the sign said
"Prize Bull -mated 100 times last year" The wife exclaims "Gee Whiz , you really could learn a lot from him too dear !! "
The next pen had a really huge bull and this time the sign above read
"Prize Bull - mated 150 times last year"
The wife is beside herself and really prods the poor husband in the ribs and says to him, "Dear , you really should go and ask the bull his secret!"
The husband replies,"No Dear, I think that YOU should go and ask him if the 150 times was with the same old cow everytime !!!"
The farmer was hospitalised , but expects to make a full recovery !!
Bonzo Dog
Well-known member
Not a joke as such............ but have you heard Cows With Guns ? Amusing bovine lyrics http://www.3dweb.no/galleri/stuestolbm/bilder/anim1.swf and animation
http://www.3dweb.no/galleri/stuestolbm/bilder/anim1.swf and animation
Ross
Well-known member
Now that's different. Where's the chicken in choppers story?
I "herd" one the "udder" day but I forgot the punchline
Debbie
Well-known member
cow jokes
cow jokes
Hey Everyone, thanks for the jokes, bonzo dog I loved the clip! Debbie
Anyone else have anything about the poor cow that gave his life for me?
cow jokes
Hey Everyone, thanks for the jokes, bonzo dog I loved the clip! Debbie
Anyone else have anything about the poor cow that gave his life for me?
