anger after surgery ..?!

[Christina L]

I did not have anger

I did not have anger

after my surgery or irritability or depression (that I can remember - ask my husband about that).

However, since my surgery I have had unrelenting anxiety and worry about my heart. I wish there were a switch I could just turn to the "off" position to get rid of these anxious thoughts. I suppose the anxiety is a component of depression.

Christina L

 

[Guest]

You left out the nurses

*chuckles*

I'm shocked Ross didn't mention this FIRST .


That is an awesome list, Mark ... and, the fact that you still have your sense of humor ... excellent news, imho.

Sadly, my "evil twin" took over for many years through the 90s and into the early 2000s. But, directly after my 2003 surgery, something "snapped" ... and the "Evil Twin" was gone. Can't say that I'm 100%, but I'm not as angry or depressed as I used to be.....



Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker
PICS:lego.HO.model.MCinfo.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"It's time to take a leap of faith" ... Steven Curtis Chapman ... 'Dive'

 

[Traveler]

Mark. Some people here have had their surgeries delayed for one thing or another. It doesn't matter...just a day or 2...not an eternity. And you may end up being grateful that you had them.

You're sounding MUCH better!!!! Hang in there. Breathe...nice and deep and slow.

Hope someone will keep us posted during your initial recovery. We'll all be out here sending positive thoughts your way. You're stuck with us!!

Best wishes! Marguerite

Ah yes but better, comes and goes ... I think it comes from many years of having to be the kind of person that everyone relies on to come through even when times are tough. You can't let them see you sweat. Even if its difficult, I have to make it look easy. And so on the outside everything is cool and I've got it under control. The panic only breaks through occasionally when I have a moment to pause and reflect.

I know many other people have the same kind of feelings but it doesn't change the momentary panic for me when I shift from the one who can be trusted to care of everything to the quiet person I am more comfortable with. The person who trusts my wife to take of me.

Thanks for all the thoughts, based on everyone's experience I'm hopeful that I'll be the same in 6 month as I am now and I'm sure I'll survive -- but I'm not really looking forward to the next several days or weeks and I am worried about the recovery period.

Mark

 

[Natanni]

Hello

My husband went through AVR in Sept of 05 @ 34 years old at the Mayo in Rochester, MN. I wanted to add that the menu there did include a very caring hosptial staff


During the time my husband was recovering from his surgery he was uncomfortable @ times, but nothing like he imagined. The thing that I remember frustrating him the most was food not tasting right, and that lasted a few weeks. My little avatar pic up there on the snow machines was not even 3 months post surgery. As far as anger goes, I don't see any more or less than before, but I do see making more time for playing

Wishing you all the best,

Ann

 

[BillCobit]

Hi Mark

Everybody responds a little bit differently to the challenge. I see my own experience reflected in some of the comments posted here, and some stuff is completely foreign to me.

I did not have any depression or anger after surgery. I also love my wife very much. My recovery time was an opportunity to spend more time with her. We actually had a great time during the 6 weeks I took off work, and I have fond memories of it. In my 5 years since surgery, I have found myslef to be less moody, and have made more time to play. I've taken on physical challenges that were beyond my comprehension when I was a young man without any heart problems. I guess I looked at the experience as an opportunity for a second life, and have cherished my post op years accordingly.

"Sleep is for the weak" - You will be weak. Be as active as you can with light activities after surgery, but don't deny your body the rest it requires. If possible, avoid returning to work too early, and try to make a gradual reentry.

I think commitment to a fulfilling post-op life helps a lot. Impatience to live it at full throttle for the first six weeks out does not.

My $0.02

Best wishes.

 

[Ross]

after my surgery or irritability or depression (that I can remember - ask my husband about that).

However, since my surgery I have had unrelenting anxiety and worry about my heart. I wish there were a switch I could just turn to the "off" position to get rid of these anxious thoughts. I suppose the anxiety is a component of depression.

Christina L

Can I push the button?

 

[michellep]

hey Mark,
When I say that I had anger, I think it was more like Christina L described. Frustration and it only lasted a day.
You are going to do great! I can see through your writings that you are a strong person who isn't going to sit back and wait. When the nurses ask you to get up and walk, you'll get up and walk. Some people aren't that strong.
Peace. That is what you can look forward to. Focus on that. It will come. You'll see.

 

[Traveler]

You are going to do great! I can see through your writings that you are a strong person who isn't going to sit back and wait. When the nurses ask you to get up and walk, you'll get up and walk. Some people aren't that strong.

I'm hoping to get out of bed before they let me. Why wait It's always better to be in charge.

 

[Susan BAV]

I'm hoping to get out of bed before they let me. Why wait It's always better to be in charge.

Unless you're still on a urine catheter and have drain tubes hanging out every which way and pacer wires flying wild and free and the big needle IV thing they stick in your neck and the other IVs poked here and there and yonder... Then you may want to wait and let a nice nurse help you up, slow and gently.

 

[WayneGM]

Yes...not to rain on your parade but they will want you to get up and start modest walking quite soon after leaving ICU (IVs, drain tubes, and all), but it will most likely be a "team" effort to get you out of bed to do so at first. My upper body felt like it was made out of lead it felt so heavy to lift. It will also take a few days for your head to clear from the anesthetic, not to mention all the meds you'll still be on, so you really don't want to attempt to get up on your own prematurely and risk falling and tearing your incision. I learned that patience takes on a whole new meaning when you're on the other side. Good luck, but really....don't over do it, it's not worth it.

 

[Marguerite53]

I'm hoping to get out of bed before they let me. Why wait It's always better to be in charge.

Do you remember Mr. Subliminal Man from Saturday Night Live? The same phrase would repeat under his breath, often in contradiction to what he was saying....... it's like the phrase "I must be in control of everything" keeps recurring for you. You gotta lose that! You will not be in control of anything. You really need to let them be in control. They actually know what they are doing. They are actually YOU!!! only dressed in green scrubs.

That doesn't mean your wife shouldn't be there to advocate for your needs. She must! She must keep an eye on how you are and make sure you get the attention. But being in charge??? no. you need to give up on that one.

When you feel the panic setting in, take a different approach. Look it square in the eye and say, Helloooo Panic!! How ya doin' today? And smile your biggest smile. Welcome it in.....it's parked at your door...no sense in denying it! Not going anywhere....befriend it!

Sometimes I wonder if we women who have borne children just kind of understand all this a little better. We know that the body takes over and we are just along for the ride. We accept it.

Another thought. Put this all in perspective. How many months have you been a successful, can-do, Mr. dependable guy? Like a zillion months it sounds like. So what percentage of your life is this journey going to be? Like a really, really tiny percent. Yes?? You guys love your statistics......really......how much of a percent of your life is 2 little months (or even 3) going to be?

I've exhausted all my tricks on you!! Maybe you can just put some headphones on and wander around for 2 days listening to Vivaldi!!

You're a good guy, Mark. It's going to be hard to keep you coming back here after your surgery because you'll have so much renewed energy you'll be bouncing around the planet and be back to your busy, full life. For some of us this place is addictive because we love "meeting" fun people.

It seems like you're determined to take the bumpy road to the OR doors. If you want a detour, you have to try some unfamiliar alternatives ....but I know there's a smooth, shady, straight-away just around the corner......you're getting close!!

Marguerite

 

[Superbob]

Amen to what Susan and Wayne said. Sometimes you're not in charge. This is one of those times. This is something we all have to learn, sooner or later. Let people help you. Put the ego on hold, or you're going to hurt yourself.

 

[michellep]

Trust. Everyone wants you to heal quickly. Trust.

 

[Cooker]

Amen to what Susan and Wayne said. Sometimes you're not in charge. This is one of those times. This is something we all have to learn, sooner or later. Let people help you. Put the ego on hold, or you're going to hurt yourself.

Amen.........humility draws near

 

[ruth]

It is what it is

It is what it is

Mark -

This surgery is a little like a roller coaster ride, you're not in control for a little while. Right now you are on the clickity-clackity way up when thoughts race through your mind. Then it will be a wild ride for a bit but you need to know that everyone wants to get you better and up & walking. You'll be back in control soon enough. Make sure you bring your good attitude with you.

Anger - I've had none. Frustration - Yes, I want to be better faster. Mental Fuzziness - Cleared at about 2 weeks. Depression - I've had some. I've battled depression since I was 16, I know more about depression than heart issues for sure. If you need help, ask for it, don't be self-conscious (easier said than done I know).

I think I'm basically the same person know than before just a little more aware of how the petty things don't really matter. Love, family, friends, and health matter. I roll my eyes now more often at the lunitic drivers who get all bent out of shape about petty traffic infractions. I think "geez, at least you're healthy enough to be driving a car, you should thankful and driving peacefully". There's a million other examples. I didn't think like that as much before.

It is what it is. So true. What's your alternative? No surgery? Nope, that's not a good pathway either. It is what it is. This is your best path. Make the best of the path you're on. I'm sure you will, you seem to have a good attitude and a lot of spunk.

Wishing you all the best Mark for a successful surgery and an uneventful recovery.

Ruth

 

[tobagotwo]

I never went through an anger phase after surgery. I was delighted to be alive, and still am. There just wasn't anything to be mad about.

Maybe you shouldn't focus on the first month after surgery when you can't do too much. Maybe you should focus on how nice it will be to be able to do the things you like six months after surgery without fatigue, when you might otherwise have met your demise.

Best wishes,

 

[Traveler]

Okay -- coming to you live from the Mayo Clinic's wireless system. I think I'm ready to not be in control. So thanks for the great advice, caring, and especially the prayers. My surgery is tomorrow at 12:00 Noon.

I'll write in a day or two. Maybe from the ICU ; ) joke -- joke -- maybe.


Mark

 

[Superbob]

Prayers and good thoughts going your way, Mark. Let us know how you are doing as soon as you can (without ripping any tubes out ) We really do wish you well. Our hectoring is only because we care. Godspeed.

 

[Steph]

Good luck Mark!!!!!! I will be thinking of you! You will do great.

Steph

 

[hensylee]

thinking about you today. we'll be waiting to know you are over the mountain., GODSPEED!