I can't tell you how terrified I am about this operation, much less a later reoperation. Nonetheless, I want to go the tissue route.
My thoughts:
- Many times people have to have a reoperation anyway, because something else happens, including degradation of the tissue holding the valve, a leak, or calcification/damage to other valves. Not to mention recalls.
- Any other medical problem that arises is complicated by anticoagulation therapy, sometimes gravely, and randomly there are medical people who are not competent to deal with the issues that can arise. And they probably don't know it.
- If I have to constantly check what I eat, my INR, worry about taking my pill or leaving them behind, I will never feel free of it. I will obsess about my heart condition internally, as my thoughts will keep being brought back to it. I need it behind me to live.
- Maybe I get 13 years, or 15. Maybe I get 20. Right now, I probably have less than one. It's all a gift, if I make it through this. And most reoperations really are successful, should I make it to then.
- In 10 years, they may actually have a working, permanent, walk-away fix. Right now, I can't wait for it - and I really wanted to. Next time may be the last I have to go through.
- I dislike doctors, except my GP (and hopefully the surgeon I find). I want to get the heck away from them as long and as often as I can. I don't enjoy being patronized by rubber-stamp medical personnel with xeroxes of shoulds and proper behaviors, and I hate medical tests.
- I am not organized and neat, and I relish the chaos of life. Flossing is as good as ritual behaviors get with me. Constancy is a requirement of Mistress Coumadin.
- I want to be in the deep woods or fossil-hunting on a winding mountain road, and not have to worry how close a hospital might be, or how long it would take to get there over those endlessly twisting miles, if I got clumsy with my rockhammer or chisel. (And I have been known to be clumsy.)
- Apart from my family and my dog, I don't want anything to own me. The more I consider the graveness of this next step, the more forcefully I realize the importance of that to me. Work takes too much already, but that can't be helped.
Wise thinking? Foolish raving? Depends on how it works out, doesn't it? I just want whatever's left to be as good as it can be.
Who knows? My karma may be that the surgeon suddenly changes his mind about what's best during the surgery, and installs a mechanical valve while I'm trapped in silence.
What this thread does is help people consolidate their thoughts, expose themselves to others' notions, and give them an opportunity to consider their options in a common venue. It's a thread similar to ones I read four years ago on Hank's somewhat humbler home page, and to ones that will be here two years from now, and five years from now. It all seems like confusion and indecision, yet somehow, it helps not to be completely alone.
Be well, sleep soundly, and dream of puppy dogs and laughing children.
My thoughts:
- Many times people have to have a reoperation anyway, because something else happens, including degradation of the tissue holding the valve, a leak, or calcification/damage to other valves. Not to mention recalls.
- Any other medical problem that arises is complicated by anticoagulation therapy, sometimes gravely, and randomly there are medical people who are not competent to deal with the issues that can arise. And they probably don't know it.
- If I have to constantly check what I eat, my INR, worry about taking my pill or leaving them behind, I will never feel free of it. I will obsess about my heart condition internally, as my thoughts will keep being brought back to it. I need it behind me to live.
- Maybe I get 13 years, or 15. Maybe I get 20. Right now, I probably have less than one. It's all a gift, if I make it through this. And most reoperations really are successful, should I make it to then.
- In 10 years, they may actually have a working, permanent, walk-away fix. Right now, I can't wait for it - and I really wanted to. Next time may be the last I have to go through.
- I dislike doctors, except my GP (and hopefully the surgeon I find). I want to get the heck away from them as long and as often as I can. I don't enjoy being patronized by rubber-stamp medical personnel with xeroxes of shoulds and proper behaviors, and I hate medical tests.
- I am not organized and neat, and I relish the chaos of life. Flossing is as good as ritual behaviors get with me. Constancy is a requirement of Mistress Coumadin.
- I want to be in the deep woods or fossil-hunting on a winding mountain road, and not have to worry how close a hospital might be, or how long it would take to get there over those endlessly twisting miles, if I got clumsy with my rockhammer or chisel. (And I have been known to be clumsy.)
- Apart from my family and my dog, I don't want anything to own me. The more I consider the graveness of this next step, the more forcefully I realize the importance of that to me. Work takes too much already, but that can't be helped.
Wise thinking? Foolish raving? Depends on how it works out, doesn't it? I just want whatever's left to be as good as it can be.
Who knows? My karma may be that the surgeon suddenly changes his mind about what's best during the surgery, and installs a mechanical valve while I'm trapped in silence.
What this thread does is help people consolidate their thoughts, expose themselves to others' notions, and give them an opportunity to consider their options in a common venue. It's a thread similar to ones I read four years ago on Hank's somewhat humbler home page, and to ones that will be here two years from now, and five years from now. It all seems like confusion and indecision, yet somehow, it helps not to be completely alone.
Be well, sleep soundly, and dream of puppy dogs and laughing children.
