You can pick your friends but not your relatives...

[COLLEEN S]

Dear Daughter, I'm helping her move, bought her a new comforter set, new dog bed, a bunch of other stuff, helped her move, put pictures on the wall, scrubbed the floor, put curtains up, took out trash, encountered the wrath of her menopausal mother in law...In other words...putting up with A LOT! She was actin stupid and so I kidded her and said "better shut up woman, I smack you up." I was kidding! She said she thought I was serious and that she thought I was going to hit her. I asked her where this was coming from...she said..." all I know is I hit back." Again, incredulous, I asked where this was coming from. My husband, who also came to help, was there and saw the whole thing.

One time, along time ago, she was sleeping with my female cousin, I didnt know. Plus the cousin was 18 years older than her. We prosecuted her, she got 5 years parole. I fought for my epileptic kid so many times but she's still holding a grudge cause I found out she was lying to me for 4 years about the cousin. Also I found out she was accepting money for sex on the side from her 37 year old married with 3 kids boss. I also found out she was doing coke.

So I got upset. Me and her father, were not proud of it and have apologize many times...smacked her on the face and back and now she's STILL holding a grudge for us hitting her. She got off easy if you ask me.
I'm so freaking tired of being a doormat to my kid. I'm done, OVER AND OUT WITH HER!

 

[netmiff]

colleen, if she was the only ever to have been smacked, I could understand it. When I was young, it was allowed, and, boy, did I catch a few good ones! It was well-known in our circle (siblings and assorted close friends) that if my mother ever bent down to take her slippers off, you'd better run - fast -'cos that's what she used after she broke all the blood vessels in her hands whacking my sister one day.

Maybe your daughter was a little stressed out, too - after all, she had to put up with the menopausal MIL, too; maybe all of you at once was just too much for her to handle. Let it go for a few days, and have a mother-daughter chat with her, just the two of you.

I hope things work out.

 

[Dennis S]

Collen: This sounds like pretty good advice. I wish I had something good to add, but I don't. Where I can really empathize is how easy it is for kids to breeze over the things their parents do for them. I guess I have been both the culprit and the victim in that particular scenario. You sound like a great mom to me.

 

[Ross]

COKE! Right there is your answer. Ever single person I've encountered that is doing Cocaine is always hyper irritated at the smallest things.

 

[COLLEEN S]

Thanks Ross, but she's not doing it anymore...she's just an irritable mess with having to move, MIL, and school starting in a few weeks (comm college), plus they are now filing bankruptcy. UGH.