Update.

[themalteser]

Hello all, I hope you're all doing well. Earlier this year I posted an update on this forum and thanks to all of you, especially pellicle and clchd, I have recognised that I need to sort myself out and I did well. I have also heard a lot of Alan Watts talks via audible and I honestly have to say it's given me a new perspective to life. Still learning a lot and still suffering from anxiety every now and then; however I learned that "wherever I am, death is is not and wherever death is I am not." So what the heck I should be worried about?

I had my yearly scan 2 days ago. Aorta pretty much the same (45-47mm) this time echo measures at 47mm, last January MRI measured 45mm. Leak is eccentric and not a lot. My BP was a tad high, 154/75, but probably a I was on flight response seeing mr white coats! something new I saw is that my left atrium is mildly dilated at 23.4. Doctor was not concerned at all.

Seems like I have another year of "freedom" may have many more years like this or maybe not. Who cares! If intervention is needed, then so be it. I'm learning slowly to live day by day as this moment is the only moment I truly have. Past is gone, future does not exist.


Thank you all. Hopefully I will maintain this attidute, please do accept my apolgies if at some point next month I have a brain fart and post otherwise

Enjoy life.

 

[Marie-62]

I am new here, and found out I will need a valve surgies. I had found out in July, I was very shock. Yes, my anxiety came in at full. The way my heart doctor told me, the door is half way close in my valve, but the blood flow is going through. After that I heard nothing from the doctor, it was a blessing my husband was with me to hear the rest.. I too vent here, theyare wonderful people here. As you said one day at a time. May the lord keep us both calm. God Bless

 

[honeybunny]

Glad to hear the good news. Keep us posted.

 

[Catie]

Congratulations on another year.

Yes, you do want to keep your BP controlled with the aneurysm.

 

[pellicle]

Hey mate

Glad too see you back and doing well

I get white coat syndrome too, especially at the dentists.

Everyone has ups and downs, so never mind about what you may say during the downs (I've had quite a few downs myself, we all respond differently). Keep listening to the people helping you up and distance yourself from those who aim to bring you down

 

[Eva]

Glad you're taking one day at time. Keep the positive attitude....it helps on many levels.

 

[themalteser]

Hello all thank you very much. I think I spoke to soon. Unbelievable! So I go to the library with my kids, I pick up a random book from the philosophy section, being there by mistake. The book name is "Me after You" foolishly I read the first chapter and it's all about her husband, who died suddenly when making love, from catastrophic heart arrhythmia. 4 years earlier he had surgery for aortic dissection, chhanging his valve and aorta!!

True story: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/article-2712442/Survivor-s-guide-life-death.html

Dammit! Why the hell I picked up this flaming book! I need a bottle of wine.

 

[Agian]

Enjoy the bottle. Make sure it's red.

 

[themalteser]

Enjoy the bottle. Make sure it's red.

It's definitely red!

 

[Agian]

Getting tipsy? That man's story is sad, but it's a one-in-a-million tragedy.
There was a 14 year-old girl here who tripped over whilst walking her dog. She landed on her chest and died.

Chin up, you've got a better chance of winning the lottery.

 

[Cynthia_58]

Hi , i'n also new here i had a mitral valve replacement last April 2016, yes we have to think positive . If its our time its our time , its beyond our control whats gonna happen to us , its all in God's hand. So enjoy each day that we are waking up and see the sun shining . For our situation everyday is a new beginning. Just hang in there

 

[cldlhd]

Glad to see you back out here and that you seem to be doing weell. If the white coats get you all riled up have you tried checking your BP at home to make sure it's not normally high?

 

[themalteser]

Hello all and thank you, as always, this forum is amazing for all support given.

Agian - that is very true, I guess if she had to write a book about it, it must be very rare indeed! The coincidence though of opening a book that had some similarities to my conditions, from all millions of books available, was unbelievable! Thanks for your support.

Hello cldlhd- I'm glad to hear from you too, how are you doing?I have a BP machine which I haven't used for some time; an omron brand, so should be decent. My BP at home was between 117-130/65-88. So
I guess it is not normally that high. I'll keep monitoring it though.

Pellicle: good to hear from you mate. I have followed your advice all along and definitely, I will ensure to be surrounded a lot of positive people; this forum is one of them. Hope you're well.

Thanknyou Cynthia, Eva, Catie, honeybunny and Marie for your time to post and your supportive words.

No more red wine for today

 

[pellicle]

Hi

... The coincidence though of opening a book that had some similarities to my conditions, from all millions of books available, was unbelievable!

perhaps the coincidence is testing the solidity of your resolve ;-)

you passed in my view

Pellicle: good to hear from you mate. I have followed your advice all along and definitely, I will ensure to be surrounded a lot of positive people; this forum is one of them. Hope you're well.

yeah ... busy as a one legged man in a kicking competition ... moving house back to Finland, selling here and so have to leave an empty house and throw / stow / post what must be.

so far its on schedule ... but the deadlines are tight.

You're sounding much "better"

 

[Protimenow]

I'm new to this thread. It's good to hear that your attitude is good.
I was 22 years old when the doctors diagnosed my murmur and told me that in 20 or 25 YEARS, I would need heart surgery. I learned about this when I was an undergrad at UCLA. After getting the news, I ran to my car - testing fate, I guess.

It wasn't too heavy a weight. I shared this with my wife and family. I eventually started seeing a cardiologist when I was nearing my 40s, and eventually decided to get the thing done.

I think that I was probably more stressed about my recent cardiac catheterization (a relatively simple procedure where they thread a scope through the arteries in your arm).

Before my OHS surgery, I was comfortable that I had found a doctor who was very experienced in heart valve replacement surgery. I knew that he had a good team. Beyond that, it was 'have a good flight' -- I had no control over what happened once I went into surgery, just like I have no control over the airline pilot's experience or the safety of the plane I'm flying in.

At some point, you just have to acknowledge that you've done your best to get prepared for the thing, and let the experts do what they're trained to do.

And, of course, I'm sure that we're all here for you, if you need a shoulder, or the cold voice of experience.

 

[epstns]

malteser - Nice to see you again, friend. It has been a while. We all know that these things can sometimes get out of hand when the mind gets hold of a loose thought and won't let go until it thinks every option through to its worst. On the conscious/logical side, we know that not to be true at all, but on the emotional side, mayhem prevails. Been there, done it too many times to need another T-shirt.

I always say that just having a plan prepared helps, as I can then focus on only the next step of my plan and let the others come when they may.

Hang in there. We're all in "temporary" mode one way or the other anyway!

 

[Eva]

Picking up that book, in my opinion, is to encourage you to determine to write a different story ... Story full of success and healthier/happier family times after a successful surgery, when the time comes! Thus making a balance and leaving a different and more positive effect on other heart patients! That book reflected one person's story, yours will reflect your success for many years to come.

 

[themalteser]

Pellicle: I must admit, i did ruminate about the whole story quite a bit and it did question my resolve, so I now have to work harder and learn more how to quiet my mind. It's just the coincidence of it all took me by surprised, but I do feel "better", much better. You must be hectic with your move back to Finland! Its a beautiful place to live, but can imagine the stress to meet deadlines with shipping etc. Good luck with it all, i am sure it will all go smooth. Stay in touch and keep us posted mate, its always good to hear from you.

Protimenow: Thank you very much for sharing your post, it is so nice to hear your positive experience. I really like your analogy with the pilot; it is true, I have to leave this matter to the experts- probably that's mostly what my issue is, in that, I have no control over the situation whatsoever. I am however learning daily on how to manage this by educating myself through this forum, books, audio books etc. I do fail sometimes, as it happened to me last Saturday, but in all, I am learning, slowly, that all it matters is simply this present moment! Thank you and stay in touch.

Epstns: How are you my friend? I'm glad to hear from you, it has been a while! Thank you for your post. True, my logic knew for well that the story is 1 in a million! but my emotions were over the roof! As you said, it does indeed "..think every option through to its worst" and go over and over it till it makes you miserable! Its no point really as nothing did change apart from winding myself up! I will listen from you in regards to having a plan prepared. Thank you Esptns, hope all is well and I look forward to staying in touch with you.

Eva: Your post is very encouraging, thank you very much. Re-focus my energy and change my perception of this whole issue, is far more important than wasting it all to no avail; i look forward to reading more posts from you. Thank you once again.

This forum is a blessing!

 

[neil]

good news, keep it up. chin chin

 

[valdab]

Hi Malteser
Nothing much of value to share but I recall we aren't so different in our respective situations. My aorta seems anywhere from 46cm-48cm but my UK surgeon has pronounced 'no significant change' from the MRI from three years ago and is not willing to do anything until it shows very real signs of growing. I changed surgeons last year because I am very interested in the PEARS procedure as I apparently have no issues with my valve.
And like you, I trundle along in a relatively sanguine state until something ludicrously remote unhinges me. I have heard in the last week of two women about my age (58) who have died suddenly. Now they may have been run over by a bus, taken a long walk off a short pier or come to grief in a car accident. I don't know them. Nevertheless my mind suddenly goes into overdrive. I mean, it's obvious. They both had aortic dissections. Clearly I am being ludicrously cavalier about my situation and I need to report to the Royal Brompton without delay. Then - after a few days and an unwise quantity of red wine -the voice of reason appears and talks me down from Planet Panic. Until the next time.

Of course, one can never quite shuffle off the thought that...'just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me'