K
Kay
Hi,
I'm new to this board but was so impressed with the friendly and compassionate atmosphere as I read some of the posts that I decided this was the place where I could get some advice from people who are in the same boat or who have already been through it. I was touched by the helpfulness and caring family feeling as I read through some of the previous posts. I've been searching the internet for answers to some nagging questions but they're questions that can only be answered by someone who's been there.
I'm facing aortic valve replacement within the next few weeks. A heart cath last January indicated that my AS was not as severe as it appeared on the echo and my cardiologist estimated that I had another 2-3 years before surgery. I was elated and totally put the surgery out of my mind. I had another echo this past June and although it had tightened a little more I was still asymptomatic and doing well. During the summer I noticed more fatigue than normal and it seemed everything I did took more effort, but hey, I work myself to death all the time, and it was summer in Texas after all. Then I almost fainted in Costco. Thought it was just because I hadn't eaten. Then it happened again, then my feet and ankles started swelling for the first time ever. Back to my cardiologist last week. Another echo showed increased velocity, 43 up from 38, and the valve now 6.5mm (was 8.5mm in June). He put me on Lasix for the edema and is seeing me again on the 27th of this month. I will meet the surgeon, discuss options, etc, and get the process started. Not exactly the way I planned to spend the holidays I might add!
My main question is this...
I have no fear of the surgery, am prepared for the pain and recovery, etc, but I am obsessing about being on a respirator when I wake up! Everything I read says it can be 1 to 3 days before you're taken off the respirator, and if I'm understanding that I AM AWAKE during that time, it terrifies me. Guess it's my claustrophobia rearing its ugly presence but I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be AWAKE and on a respirator. I'm even thinking of undergoing hypnosis because the fear of waking up on the respirator is so unsettling. I guess another issue for me is that I'm allergic to most serious pain meds complicated by very low blood pressure so I never experience that la-la land state where you really don't care or know what's going on. I have a feeling I'll be very aware of my surroundings and all I can think about is that respirator!
What I need is to hear what it's like from patients who have been through it AND the much clearer memories of the spouses who were by their side. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I pray so! Does it hurt when it is removed, make you gag, etc? Is it over in a hurry? I know this sounds ridiculous and it sounds ridiculous to me as I type it, but I panic everytime I think about it. It's such a minor issue in the grand scheme of things. I have a fabulous cardiologist and a top valve surgeon at an excellent hospital and my logical mind knows I have nothing to fear. Above all, as a Christian, I know I have NOTHING to fear. Then I think about that respirator and it starts all over again! Help!
I'm new to this board but was so impressed with the friendly and compassionate atmosphere as I read some of the posts that I decided this was the place where I could get some advice from people who are in the same boat or who have already been through it. I was touched by the helpfulness and caring family feeling as I read through some of the previous posts. I've been searching the internet for answers to some nagging questions but they're questions that can only be answered by someone who's been there.
I'm facing aortic valve replacement within the next few weeks. A heart cath last January indicated that my AS was not as severe as it appeared on the echo and my cardiologist estimated that I had another 2-3 years before surgery. I was elated and totally put the surgery out of my mind. I had another echo this past June and although it had tightened a little more I was still asymptomatic and doing well. During the summer I noticed more fatigue than normal and it seemed everything I did took more effort, but hey, I work myself to death all the time, and it was summer in Texas after all. Then I almost fainted in Costco. Thought it was just because I hadn't eaten. Then it happened again, then my feet and ankles started swelling for the first time ever. Back to my cardiologist last week. Another echo showed increased velocity, 43 up from 38, and the valve now 6.5mm (was 8.5mm in June). He put me on Lasix for the edema and is seeing me again on the 27th of this month. I will meet the surgeon, discuss options, etc, and get the process started. Not exactly the way I planned to spend the holidays I might add!
My main question is this...
I have no fear of the surgery, am prepared for the pain and recovery, etc, but I am obsessing about being on a respirator when I wake up! Everything I read says it can be 1 to 3 days before you're taken off the respirator, and if I'm understanding that I AM AWAKE during that time, it terrifies me. Guess it's my claustrophobia rearing its ugly presence but I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be AWAKE and on a respirator. I'm even thinking of undergoing hypnosis because the fear of waking up on the respirator is so unsettling. I guess another issue for me is that I'm allergic to most serious pain meds complicated by very low blood pressure so I never experience that la-la land state where you really don't care or know what's going on. I have a feeling I'll be very aware of my surroundings and all I can think about is that respirator!
What I need is to hear what it's like from patients who have been through it AND the much clearer memories of the spouses who were by their side. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I pray so! Does it hurt when it is removed, make you gag, etc? Is it over in a hurry? I know this sounds ridiculous and it sounds ridiculous to me as I type it, but I panic everytime I think about it. It's such a minor issue in the grand scheme of things. I have a fabulous cardiologist and a top valve surgeon at an excellent hospital and my logical mind knows I have nothing to fear. Above all, as a Christian, I know I have NOTHING to fear. Then I think about that respirator and it starts all over again! Help!