Tick Tock Tick........

[ccrawford]

Richard - Glad my comments helped a little. I guess the key re anxiety issues is to make sure your doctors know you are anxious. They know the answers, they don't always know that you need to be informed about something. If you keep asking those questions until the anxiety is diminished, you'll do fine. My aortic is at 1.2 cm sq, so I could be in the waiting room for some time. My cardio thinks there is a chance no surgery will be required, but I think that's being a bit optimistic, despite what CNN says about the potential of the statins. In my case, I'm glad the clock is ticking nice and slow, and I get to enjoy watching the sunrise from my back porch. If and when surgery does come, I think I'll be ready. Chris

 

[Granbonny]

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day

Richard, How could any of your new friends in America not be thinking and praying for you on the 14th? It's Valentine Day..Hearts galore everywhere that day. Would it help if one of us posted a letter to your parents informing them of the kind of needs you will be needing when you go to their home. You could print it off and give it to them. I will be glad to do a Private e-mail to you. Forgot to look for your age but I have a son..age 33..that I would throw myself off a cliff for if it would save his life Maybe they are scared too and don't won't to show it.. They could get prepared for you..early..If you have had health problems early in your youth..I'm sure they were there for you then..You will need a place to walk about a week home outside and if it's cold..find a place like a Mall, ect..Of course you will be needing a driver but sounds like you have oodles of friends for that.. And tell your Mum..forget the food..You will only want some juices, ect..Maybe soup. And keep on-line with us..We will get you thru it.. Bonnie

 

[Granbonny]

P.S. Richard

P.S. Richard

So you are age 41....Still Young..I'm age 62...And tell us about Shiatsu..Bet we could all use it Relaxing method???Bonnie

 

[Richard L]

Thanks Bonnie,
The irony of St Valentines was not lost on me - sort of poetic really. I'd really appreciate the e-mail thanks ([email protected])

Shiatsu ....well I'm supposed to be a qualified practitioner , (although I haven't practiced for quite a while)- It's bizarre that I've given support to others in the past but I'm struggling to support myself - the hardest lessons are the best. I've been massaging all the heart related pressure points (that I can reach).

Watch out for a future post on Shiatsu - It's a challenge trying to condense 5 years of exploration and training (much of which is not verbal) into words. - Definitely relaxing. Self-work tends to be in the form of exercises-Qi gong- as it's not easy to massage yourself you'd have to pull off the neat trick of being in 2 different spaces (practitoner/ receiver) at once!

One phrase that kept comming up in training was "Heart Centred Learning" - now there's a thought!

I've just got back from my attempt to communicate with my folks -adult to adult but there in lies the problem because for them it's parent/child (good old transactional analysis!). They are taking my need and request for space as rejection.
I know they are scared and they arn't from a generation/culture where it's ok to admit to fear. They are dealing with it by not dealing with it and making themselves busy and useful as they percieve it.... but won't/can't actually hear what I'm asking for, which is space (and i have been literal with them). I know that I'm being a bit selfish at the moment but feel I need to be.

An example of not listening is that I've asked people to let me know if they've caught any of the winter bugs that are flying around as I've got to avoid them. Before I went over tonight they told me they were clear, but when I got there dad was coughing away and mum sniffling...great! I really tried not to loose it.

The Hospital have said that if I can't find somewhere to stay they may be able to find me a place in a local hospital for a few weeks.


Richard

 

[Richard L]

Here's an interesting dilema. I had prepared to put myself in quarenteen (avoid colds, infections etc...) since last Thurs - 8 days before AVR Day
.... but I've been crawling up the wall- stress city.

I had a really rough day yesterday. I went over to my folks and came back feeling emotionally and physically exhausted - 100 times worse (it's more than I can take to deal with my stuff AND there's!).
Put up with hours of my parents not saying what they mean -fighting me..... then my neice's -Laura (12) & Jessica (3½) & nephew-Dainiel (8) came over and Laura started playing piano and clarinet (I've been helping them with their music exams) and Daniel the violin and then Jess,- not to be out done,... did renditions of a rock chick, kareoke diva and "everything" tribute band on an old hifi mike!

....I was holding up till then but cracked up and was in tears... Sooo proud of them.

.. Today I thought F~*#&% it! and went out to a music session with my fiddle and got blasted on Irish whiskey and now I'm feeling a hell of alot better (ish)

So prior to op. do you hibernate or go for it and live it up?
I hadn't intended to have a drink but feel so much the better for it!

Well there's mon. tues & wed to deal with. do I go out or stay in?.
Then Thursday & Off to Harefied hospital and............... tbc

Richard

 

[Granbonny]

Hi Richard

Hi Richard

Live it up The Irish whiskey will probably keep the germs away Just don't drink too much..you have heard the saying. If you're going to dance ...you have to pay the Fiddler Did you get my PM..Bonnie

 

[hensylee]

Dear Richard = we had a member some while back who also is in UK. Her husband was disabled and unable to care for her at home after surgery - so they both went to a nursing facility for her recovery. Stayed there about a month. After seeing your last few posts, I think you are definitely a candidate for other quarters than your family. Doesn't sound like any of them are going to let you be. If the hospital can arrange it, go for it. God bless

 

[Nancy]

Hi Richard-

I agree with Hensylee. You are really agonizing about the aftercare arrangements. I bet if the hospital extended stay works out, you will feel like a big weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

Waiting for surgery is bad enough, but to have to worry about how you're going to keep the boat from rocking when you not going to be feeling very well yourself is something you should try to get rid of.

You will need to concentrate on you. I do hope that things will work out in your favor.

Wishing you success.

 

[Richard L]

Hi Bonnie good stuff that irish whiskey, much underrated and overshadowed by it's Scottish cousin, but never new it could be prescribed as an antimicrobial.

I've actually done the fiddling for dancers and never got paid! which reminds me St Patricks day is just round the corner, wonder if I'll be able to pick up my violin by then.
I got your e-mail ......huge thanks - loosing weight would be no bad thing for me but i could think of less drastic ways!

Thanks Hensylee, Nancy, ........I'm trying and not worry about it. Don't reckon the hospital is going to turf me out onto the street.

I had already looked into nursing and convalescent homes as an option. It must be different over there in the states. there are a fair number of private nursing homes but mostly geared towards care fore the elderly and they're very expensive (£700 UKP + per week) - beyond me!

UK Private health insurance companies just won't cover any condition that pre-exists the policy and since my bicuspid aortic valve was congenital - I was scuppered. there's many like me over here in the uk who can't get Private health insurance even If we want & can afford it. We're forced by default to rely on the National Health Service (NHS).

There used to be NHS covalescent facilities for post op patients but they all appear to have been shut down and sold off to private developers or as private nursing homes for the elderly which don't offer general post op convalescent as it means additional insurance costs for them plus lots of local health authority red tape.

Private health insurance over here is a bit of a con.The Standard of NHS medical treatment, especially at specialist hospitals is generally very high. It's where all the training and much of the research takes place and attracts many top brains!.
You just don't get any of the frills (or thrills!) like private rooms or decent food and have to wait for the non urgent stuff!

Very often Private health companies just sub-contract out NHS facilities anyway (making the the rest of us have to wait longer in the queue. Something we British are world famous at).You really don't want to be in a Private only hospital for serious stuff like heart surgery as once you get past the aesthetics there have been numerous horror stories of the Privates not having the facilities to cope with complications.

I Think I've just written a thesis defending our NHS!

Richard

 

[Richard L]

So much left undone, loose ends to tie up and tomorrows my last day at home.

I've been quite tearful the last few days (thought that hapened afterwards not before) but thats good for me as I've gotten used to bottling it up. funny how it's my sisters kids that set me off.

I've done all my 'holiday' shopping and will get packing tomorrow

I'ml meeting up with some friends tomorrow night and then off to the hospital early thursday.

Hope to get a post in tomorrow, but in case I can't, thanks to you all for your support and advice and humour, - not only on this thread, but throughout the site.
........... and look out for my post op post.

PS...... In advance....... happy Valentines day

 

[Granbonny]

Hi Richard

Hi Richard

And Happy Valentine to you too. I was going to post on VR tonight about your surgery. Is it midnight there now?..Remember. You will be just fine. They will give you a good feel- shot and you will be in never-never land. Wake up a day later...Just relax..I know what you mean about little kids. I cry when I leave my Grans ..Even tho I am only any hour away from them.....After you go to your room. get up and walk, walk, walk,..you will be on pain meds..so it will not be uncomfortable...Remember, you will be a little foggy..Enjoy, and let nurses take care of you...Let us hear from you when you feel like it...or have a friend post for you..We are here for you when you go home and ask us any questions.. Bonnie

 

[hensylee]

New thread started for Richard - see Richard's off and running tomorrow

 

[Nancy]

Richard-

Wishing you all the best for your stay at Club Med. You will be fine and I hope that someone can let us know how things went. We'll all be waiting to hear, so as soon as you can, please post to us.

Bon Voyage and smooth sailing!

Talk to you later.