The weepy stage

[MelissaM]

As a non-crier (well. . .except for sappy movies - they always get to me. . .), this weepy stage is a trip! I was relieved to see several threads on emotional outburts and crying post-surgery in the archives. The first time this happened it threw me for a loop, not so much because I was crying, but because of its duration. It was like having scattered thunderstorms the whole day long! I am generally a positive person, and to have tears pour forth at (their!) will all day long was almost beyond my comprehension! These crying jags seem to come on at will. Haven't had one in a couple of weeks, but had a doozy today - sure throws the folks for a loop. They want to help, but there is no real "fix".

Just wanted to say "thanks" once again to this group for being there. Without you, I would be a confused, crying mess. Now I am just a crying mess.

Errr. .and the intensity of this stage does pass, doesn't it. . . ???

Melissa

 

[Ross]

Yes it does pass, but it is unnerving until it does. I was a total mess. One Doctor walking passed my room one day stopped and asked me why I was crying. I looked at him and told him I didn't have any idea, but I couldn't stop. He looked at me and smiled and then said, "Go ahead and cry, there is nothing you can do about it and it's part of recovery" so I took it as that. I fell apart at some of the weirdest times.

 

[Guest]

Hmm....oddly, this reminds me of how much I wanted to cry when I was still in the hospital in January.

I felt that "urge" a number of times, but none more memorable than the day they took the chest tubes, etc., out. My friend, Heather (from VA), had already left the day before....and while they were taking them out I couldn't help but think..."why me?" Not even sure why i thought that, since the worst, at that point, was over...LOL. But, I did. And, I must have looked terrible...and in great pain (really wasn't, tho it was a very uncomfortable day)...because the nurses/specialists taking out the tubes kept reassuring me in various ways....and, after the tubes were out, the nurse who was on duty kept stopping into my room and asking me what could she do to help me feel better....

Peace...always,
Cort S, pig's valve & pacemaker-enhanced 30/swm
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[LUVMyBirman]

Hey Melissa

Those tear ducts will dry up in no time It's a very strange phenomenon isn't it? Don't fret....it's completely normal. Happened after I gave birth to my daughter as well. Must be the stress of the situation.

After the OHS they wanted to throw me on depression meds. Thinking it was my set-back with the tamponade that thew me over the edge. I declined. Was too concerned about the side effects. Did fine with a little Xanax for anxiety as needed.
Wishing you a speedy recovery

 

[Nancy]

Joe had a couple of melt-downs too. You can't imagine how out of character that is for him. It's the body's way of releasing so many pent-up emotions that are buried deep. Plus after surgery, the body releases enormous amounts of hormones and as we all know, they can make you very emotional.

So let it fly.

But, if it continues on and on, and becomes something that is interfering with your life, talk it over with your doctor. It's very, very common for depression to happen after heart surgery.

"The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar"

 

[Johnny Stephens]

Pass the hanky

Pass the hanky

I would cry at the drop of a hat for a couple of weeks after I got home. Once, I saw an Elvis Costello concert on TV, and the kids were having so much fun, IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAD EVER SEEN [sniff..lump in throat].

My daughter's 3rd grade class all wrote letters to me while I was in the hospital, and they made a cute little binder and the teacher sent it home to me. IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAD EVER SEEN. [this one still gets me, actually]

My hospital room at UW overlooked Capitol Hill, and after dark all the houses lit up on it, and the water of Lake Washington below, IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAD EVER SEEN [gulp].

Throw in several bouts of "I'm not worthy...." and I was really going through the Kleenex. Mostly, just let it out, but as Nancy says if it doesn't eventually settle down, you should discuss with the docs...

 

[bvdr]

Melissa, Here, come close....this is a big cyber hug for you. It hit me the other day too. There was nothing so awfully bad going on at all but my emotions were riding high. The same day I received my paperwork in the mail to fill out for cardiac rehab. One of the papers was a screening sheet for depression. I decided to wait to fill it out until a little better day because I don't think my answers at that time would have been truly representative of how I am actually doing.

Look at all the changes going on for you right now. Not only have you just had very major surgery you are also far away from home and everything that is very familiar to you. You are in a home that no matter how welcoming they are to you, is not yours. I can tell you are a very independent person and are not feeling like that these days. I spent much of the last few months of my dad's life up in Michigan with him and, even though I needed and wanted to be there, I was homesick for everything and everyone back here at home.

So cheer up my friend and ride this thing out a little longer. And, if you need to be, be pro-active with this just as you were with you heart problem. You are going to be OK in a little while.

 

[JimL]

My daughter and a few friends came to see me in the hospital; I was so honored, so overwhelmed, so weepy. So I watched "All in the Family" reruns (I saw them when they first appeared years ago) and laughed uncontrollably. Fortunately, the weepy stage is mostly gone.

Last spring I saw my daughter graduate high school, and the thought came of how close I was to not being here for that, and the tears were coming. Just last month I saw my oldest son pass a major landmark on his way into the world, and the tears wanted to come again. The day after Christmas he gets married, and there will undoubtedly be tears.

Enjoy the overly emotional stage. The emotions are all good emotions.

 

[Ross]

Jim what is so abnormal about a few things you've listed? I don't know a parent alive at the moment that didn't shed tears at those particular moments in life. Your human man!

 

[MelissaM]

Thanks you guys. It is so nice to have some company (blinks back more emotion. . .). Today is definitely better. It comes and goes. Glad to hear that it can fade with time.

Betty, you are right that I am sooooo independent and it is really hard not being in "my domain". Just trying to take things a day at a time.

Melissa

 

[hensylee]

Gosh - I cried just reading these posts.

 

[Les]

]Melissa[,
Hard to do "Hug Thingies" on a "Mesozoic Machine".......but that's what the brackets are.......As all have let you know, it's normal and does fade with time. For now, just go with it.....It's OK. Glad today is better!
__________________
Les AVR '93 / '95

 

[ShezaGirlie]

'Weepy' fades with time??

Gosh, I hope mine never does -- especially my 'public' weepies.

Hope all you Chicago reunion attendees are prepared for this...

 

[Birky]

weepies

weepies

Hi Melissa, I did go through the same thing after my replacement. I didn't cry in the hospital, but as soon as I got home I laid down on the bed and sobbed. My husband couldn't figure out what to do since I am not a crier. I think it was all overwhelming to me. I didn't know exactly what to expect with the surgery and all the probelms that I encountered. Heart going to slow or out of sinus rythm. I was afraid to go to sleep etc. I had days when I would cry for no reason. This is now done with. Take a day at a time and it will get better. I did go on Zoloft after the surgery since I was struggling with not smoking as well as the surgery. Marcia

 

[Rain]

Melissa,

When I had my surgery my then six year old daughter would call me every night. Of course she would cry. She knew something weird was going on and I had never left her before. Soooo that?s what I blamed my hospital tears on.

Having never been a ?crier? either, I was surprised to still find myself with tears in my eyes for the simplest things once I was back home.... like my then 16 year old son taking the mop out of my hand and mopping the house for me. Or my then college freshman calling me just to say, ?I love you, Mom. I just wanted to make sure you are okay?. I?m like Johnny.... just remembering those things STILL make tears come to my eyes. I think I was just so thankful to realize I had lived through it and that I was still here with them. And to see and hear them do things to show me they loved me as much as I loved them was just overwhelming to me.

Three years later, I'm still more emotional than I was before the surgery. I?m a lot more apt to let my feelings show than I ever was before. I think that is actually a good thing.

So its okay, Melissa. Just tell your parents you love them and you're happy to be alive.

 

[ccrawford]

Hey Evil sister - As you've heard, it appears this is pretty much par for the course. Hope you get through it - your comedic team needs you - they're throwing tomatoes at us !!!

 

[Gisele]

Melissa, can you get me a tissue?

Melissa, can you get me a tissue?

Guess it is just not OHS that this relates to. The second time I was in the hospital (subdural caused by heperin), I found myself one morning laying in bed crying. Naturally when the nurse asked me what was wrong all I could say is: "I want to go home". I found myself laying in a hospital bed probably one week post op, with the left side of my head shaven, a huge headache, stuck to an IV, feeling sick to my stomach and I guess feeling a bit sorry for myself. Imagine a grown woman crying to go home! I do find that I cry so much easier now than before.

I guess I figured it was just caused from anxiety. I am not used to being teary eyed. Does anyone know how long this lasts?

 

[fyrfytr]

Hey Melissa,
I guess you can tell that it happens to just about all of us. When I got home from the hospital I was sitting in my recliner and all of a sudden I am crying and I never cry. Like the rest have said, it will pass with time. Take Care and Have A Great Week!

Dave
___________________________
Surgery: 4/21/03
Aortic Aneurysm Repair
AVR, with a St. Jude Mechanical
Heart Center of the Rockies

 

[pillarpaul]

Had an interesting experience about two weeks my post-op of "weeping". One day I was walking on a trail here with my wife and I started balling uncontrollably. My wife kept asking what was wrong. Took me about a minute to compose myself and I finally said that I couldn't believe I was still alive. The seriousness of the surgery I think finally had hit me.

Also, I would watch TV and cry like a baby at sappy Hallmark commercials. Darn, I hate Hallmark Regardless, I did feel so vulnerable at the time. It did pass, though.

Paul

 

[Nancy]

Something that works for us is the use of rather extreme humor. We both have very Irish and sarcastic humor and it's pretty dark sometimes. If either of us gets too emotional (and there have been terrible times), the other will no doubt "call" them on it, and make a humorous and sarcastic remark. It can help to laugh at one's self with someone who understands.

Might not be everyone's cup of tea, but humor diffuses a lot for us. We're both pretty thick-skinned, so neither gets insulted.

we just about poke fun at everything.